Note: This is a guest post by Michael Miles of Effortless Abundance.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was a Swiss born psychiatrist who spent much of her career writing and speaking about illness, death and dying. Kubler-Ross, who wrote the famous book, On Death and Dying, developed the idea of the stages of grief at a time when the medical establishment was largely refusing to address these issues.

Her work on death is monumental in scope and importance, and through her writing comes an immense humanity, compassion and wisdom. She has much to teach us about our daily life.

“You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.”

The message here is that we can learn from every experience, and that in fact every experience can be regarded as a gift. This, perhaps, is a hard thing for us to hear – we have been conditioned to think of illness and pain in a negative way and we try to avoid suffering at all costs. But all growth involves pain and so perhaps we should be less eager to shy away from it, learning instead to welcome it and take something of value from these experiences.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

I once read a beautiful description of the sun shining through the branches of a tree. When the tree is in full foliage, the light cannot get through, but in winter, when the tree is stripped of its leaves and only the bare branches remain, the sunlight can shine through to the other side. Our suffering can teach us profound lessons and allow us to be more sensitive and to add more value to the world. Through our suffering we can become more than the shallow and selfish consumers we often associate with being successful.

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.”

If we wish to live a good life, we cannot abdicate responsibility for our lives to someone or something else. We cannot allow other people or circumstances to pull our strings. Realizing that we are in control, frightening though this may seem, is the first step to an authentic, actualized life. This proactivity, as Viktor Frankl calls it, is the cornerstone of all personal productivity, and is the first of Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

“There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.”

Viktor Frankl wrote that ‘man’s search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life’ and we all have a purpose which, to use Frankl’s language, we have to ‘detect.’ It appears that the unique circumstances of our life are oriented to enable us to detect this meaning, which is different for each of us.

Why, then, spend so much time worrying about all the apparently terrible things which happen the world? It is enough for me that I grow and learn from the experiences of my own life, using my own unique challenges and difficulties to construct a meaningful and fulfilled life. How do I know why my neighbor is experiencing a certain kind of problem? This is his concern, and his alone.

“There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub… Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.”

We can pursue happiness in external things – money, success, career, social achievements, religion, even family. But happiness will elude us until we realize that it is not to be found ‘out there’ – it is not something to be acquired, but rather it is found in the silence of our inner world. It is found in the quiet place at the center of our selves, and this silence is available to us every moment. The outside world can only be truly enjoyed when we have come to this realization.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

We have a task to perform here on earth. It is not to do with the acquisition of property, money or worldly success.  Although I believe that these things are good in themselves and that striving for them is a worthy pursuit, there is a deeper purpose to our lives, and this purpose is usually (perhaps always) arrived at through suffering and pain of some kind. In the words of Nietzsche, ‘Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich starker,’ That which does not kill me, makes me stronger.

Michael Miles writes at http://effortlessabundance.com.

“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”
Winnie the Pooh

“The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
Albert Einstein

When I was younger I used to think that thinking was the best thing since sliced bread. So I thought. And though and thought. And then I thought some more. It had some wonderful and positive effects such as helping me to get good grades in school.

But on the other hand this thinking was also trapping me and limiting me in various ways. One of my biggest insights in recent years is that there are a lot of both positive and negative sides to how you think. So learning to use my thinking in a better way has become a main focus and also one of the most beneficial things I have ever done.

Now, this may sound a little vague so I let’s explore some of the facets of thinking with the timeless help from clever people that have gone before us.

1. You are what you think.

“As you think, so shall you become.”
Bruce Lee

Understanding this is essential to start thinking in more useful ways.

It’s perhaps the most basic statement of how we work. Think about what you are thinking today. What do those thoughts say about you? About your life? And how well do they really match your plans for your life and your image of yourself?

It’s easy to forget about this simple statement in everyday life. It’s easy to be quite incongruent with what you think on an ordinary day compared to how you view yourself and your goals. A simple external reminder such as a post-it with this quote can be helpful to keep you and your thoughts on the right track. A brilliant and beautiful expansion on this thought can be found in James Allen’s “As a man thinketh”.

2. Thinking has its place.

“Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in.”
Napoleon Bonaparte

“Chi Wen Tzu always thought three times before taking action.  Twice would have been quite enough.”
Confucius

Thinking has its place. But it can never replace action. I sometimes think there is some kind of wish when overthinking that thinking will somehow replace action. A wish that if you just think enough you can find some easy way out. Or get what you want without having to actually do something.

Without taking action you’ll most likely not get what you want. Thinking is however seldom as scary or uncertain as taking the leap into the unknown and taking action.

So it can become a place where you hide from taking action and then rationalize to yourself in different ways how all this thinking will help you. Even though you know deep down that what you really want and need is to take action and get going.

3. Your mind can become a prison.

“Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.”
Franklin D Roosevelt

“It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.”
William Shakespeare

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”
Wayne Dyer

Thinking isn’t always all it may be cracked up to be.

What you believe about yourself and the world is what you will see and find. Here’s the big problem though: when you are in your prison cell you can’t see it. You think your beliefs and what see is reality and that it has you boxed in. But it’s just a perspective.

So you have to take a leap of faith and try out a new belief and viewpoint to actually experience a change in your world. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking: “well, when I see some proof of this being true then I might make a change in how I think”.

Such reasoning doesn’t really work that well because it’s just theory and it’s seen from your current perspective. Your mind won’t allow you to see what isn’t aligned with your current beliefs. Or you will just disregard it as nonsense or something that may work for someone else but not you. You mind wants to keep your perspective of the world stable.

I think it’s better to think about what would be most beneficial for me. Yes, you may see a lot of proof in the world that your current negative attitude is the correct one to have. But don’t you think a positive attitude would be even more useful to make you happy and successful?

4. We are emotional creatures.

“People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it.”
Anthony de Mello

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.”
Dale Carnegie

It’s alluring to think you are someone in complete control. Someone who controls his/her life with a good head on those shoulders.

But your emotions play a huge role. Sure, everyone likes to think of themselves as smart and in control. And the mind is fond of thinking that it’s in pretty much complete control too.

The thought that what we do is often based in an emotional response to something that happens to us and we later on rationalize as the right thing to do isn’t as appealing. The ego that is based in the awesomeness of human thinking doesn’t like that. Such theories may make us seem just a bit too much like animals for the ego to be happy about it.

This may sound a bit depressing but I also think it is very important to keep in mind. So you don’t blindly follow what your thoughts are telling you. So you become more attentive to your emotions (and other people’s emotions too). And so you can make decisions that are more based in what’s helpful and positive rather than for example based on old emotional fear patterns you may have.

Word and thoughts are important in our lives. But don’t underestimate the importance and power of emotions.

5. Think for yourself.

“Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too”
Voltaire

This is not always easy though. But it is very important to learn to trust your own judgement and thoughts.

It’s easy to assume that someone that you view as an authority is telling is the truth. There is however just opinions, no matter who is speaking. Sure, it can sometimes be easier to just do what someone else says. It takes some of the responsibility off you for your life (you can always blame them when things go wrong). And taking it the other way and becoming totally unreasonable is of course not helpful either.

But you have to make yourself the highest authority in your life. It can’t be your parents, boss or some personal development guru.

Let other people think for themselves. Listen to what they have to say.

But find a lot more freedom within and in your world by holding your own opinion the highest.

6. Don’t worry what others are thinking about you.

“At the age of 20, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn’t thinking of us at all.”
Unknown

“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others.”
Marcus Aurelius

The biggest part of thinking and doing what you really want is to stop caring so much about what other people think of you.

A lot of the actions you take – or do not take – may be because you need approval from other people. When we are young we get grades in school that tells us that we are “good”. This makes it very easy to create a life where you always go looking for the world to give you the next hit of approval. It may be from your family, boss, friends, co-workers and so on.

But this need creates neediness. And the stronger the need the stronger the neediness. And so other people will sense this. And approval may be withheld or used to manipulate you. Or they may just not like your neediness.

The people on the other hand that does not care that much about getting approval often do more of what they want deep inside. They may be considered courageous for instance. So the way they live their lives will gain appreciation and approval from the people around them. It’s a bit counter-intuitive.

7. When you think, think in a constructive way.

“The ‘how’ thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile ‘ifs’.”
Norman Vincent Peale.

It’s very easy to spend your time thinking and imagining all the horrible things that may happen if you stand up and face the obstacles and troubles in life. But if you actually do that those negative images seldom come into life. They are just huge monsters that you build in your mind. Just like you did when you were a kid and imagined monsters in the closet or under your bed.

When you actually stand up and face your obstacles you may find that the experience isn’t as bad as you imagined. Sometimes it’s actually a bit anti-climatic. You think to yourself: “What?! Is this it?”.

So, after having done some thinking about how to go about doing something don’t fall into the trap of overthinking and monster-building. Just go and do what you need to do instead.

8. Don’t think. Just be here now.

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.”
Eckhart Tolle

“True salvation is freedom from negativity, and above all from past and future as a psychological need.”
Eckhart Tolle

Many times the best thing you can do is to not think at all. Well, maybe it’s a bit of thinking, I don’t really know but it’s like your mind is empty. You are fully present in this moment. Without dozens of thoughts running through your mind like a wild river. There is stillness within. This is not just a very enjoyable state of mind. It is also practically perhaps the most useful state of mind.

Because when you are present your focus is not split. Your thoughts are not in the past or future. And so there is very little fear or negative emotions inside of you.

This is the perfect state of mind to take action. When you do something while being present the anxiety or fear that comes from thinking about for example the future (“will I lose this race?”) disappears. This increases the quality of whatever you do while being present.

Being present also makes you more creative because you let your subconscious puzzle together impressions and concepts until you get an idea. Often in the shower or someplace like that. Because there you aren’t actively thinking about a solution. Your subconscious gets some space to work while you focus your conscious mind on not getting soap in the eyes.

Finally, being present makes any activity more enjoyable because the suffering you may feel often comes from a split focus or just too much thoughts running around in your head.

My favorite way to reconnect with the present moment right now it to see everything as I was seeing it for the first time. I imagine it like that, I take that role.

Like someone who has never experienced this before. Like a child or someone who has never been here before. I like this one and I have been doing it from time to time for years (although back then I didn’t really understand why it felt nice when I did it).

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
Anais Nin

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.
W. Clement Stone

For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use being anything else.
Winston Churchill

I write a lot about having a positive attitude. But why should work on your attitude and try to make it a more consistently positive one? What are the actual benefits?

And how do you go about changing your attitude from a negative one to a more positive one? I’ll get to that a bit further down in this article.

But first, let’s start with the why and 8 awesome reasons to blast negativity out of your life and replace it with a more positive attitude.

1. Attractiveness. Frankly, I think this is one of the most important reasons to adopt a positive attitude. It just makes you so much more socially attractive in all kinds of ways (with friends and random people you meet, at work/in school or with some cute guy/girl you’re interested in). Plus, a lot of people simply don’t have the patience, time or interest in a lot of negativity. They’ll just spend more time with positive people instead.
2. You focus on the good things in people. Not their flaws. This will make things much better overall and improve all kinds of relationships.
3. It’s easier to be more productive. You simply get more things done when you stop laying obstacles in the middle of the road in the form of negative thoughts.
4. You’ll waste less time and energy. Negativity can be like a self-feeding loop. First you think one negative thought. It leads you to three more. And then you start examining your life in deeper detail through a depressing lens. When you get into vicious cycles like these it can eat up hours, weeks and years of your life. It can drain a lot of your energy whilst trapping you in paralysis by analysis. And you probably won’t become that much wiser in the process. We live for about 24-28 000 days. Don’t waste them.
5. A circle of positivity. Emotions are contagious. Everyone wants positive emotions. And most want to keep them going so they give back positivity to you too. And so a sort of circle of positivity can be created and strengthened. This makes any interactions/relationships a lot more fun.
6. It enables you to see things that aren’t there yet. If you are pessimist or a realist you may get stuck in thinking that things will stay the same and a positive change is unlikely. If you think that way then it will be hard to make a big positive change. You have to be able to see it on your mind and have a belief that you can do it to actually be able to achieve it.
7. Everything becomes more fun. The fun aspect of life and personal development is often a bit overlooked. Positivity makes work, school, relationships, working out and just about everything more fun.
8. Negativity is stupid. If you look at the reasons above it becomes obvious how much better and more useful positivity is for you. When I feel negative I often simply remember that negativity is worse choice in any situation really. And since I don’t want to make stupid choices I choose to change my attitude in those situations.

How I Do It

So how do you create, maintain and strengthen a positive attitude?

Well, here’s how I do it.

These tips and mindsets allow me to stay positive about 80 percent of the time right now. I expect those numbers to improve even more over the coming months and years. Changing your attitude can be a lot of work at first but after a while a positive attitude becomes and more of a default just like the negative attitude once was for you.

It is important to note that these techniques will become more powerful and easier to use after a while because you form a new belief that your emotional states and thought patterns are things you can shift around pretty quickly. This belief makes things a lot easier since your mind is not resisting so much anymore. You just think Oh, I feel negative and that kinda stupid. Let’s change that to a more positive state of mind. And your mind goes: Well, I guess that is what we can do nowadays so OK!.

Realize that positivity isn’t something uncool, corny or stupid.

This is the first step and it can be quite a hurdle even though it may seem obvious. If you have been negative or a realist for many, many years then positivity can seem well, kinda stupid and naive. Your mind and emotional habits are so ingrained that positivity seems a bit too foreign to accept.

However, to get this to work you will have to take a leap of faith. Because you can theorize about how stupid or practically useless a positive attitude may be for as long as you want. You won’t understand it until you just start using it. And to get it to work you can’t have half your mind protesting all the time and thinking that this won’t work.

Sure, you will have doubts about it and they will decrease when you start seeing some positive results in your life. But if you’re doubts are overwhelming then it will be like rowing forward with one hand and rowing backward with the other hand.

Decide that you will make this conscious change in your attitude. Or at least that you will ignore your doubts and just give it a try during the whole month of February.

Take care of the fundamentals.

This is for me the most important thing you can do to maintain and strengthen your positive attitude. How you eat, sleep and workout is huge factor. A good lifestyle, how you live your life on normal days determine how you feel and think.

For example, exercising and keeping my testosterone levels pretty high consistently – I do that by focusing on free weight exercises that target many and big muscle groups – is a very simple way to get a lot of positive emotions to flow through my body automatically. A good workout always seems to do the trick.

Positive influences.

Fill your mind and emotional system with positive input from people, music and programs/books. Other people’s thoughts have a big influence and emotions are contagious.

Limit your time with negative people. Reduce TV or magazines that may make you feel worse about what you don’t own or your body. Or just create fear and negativity within you (for instance a lot of news shows). Limiting negative influences can make it a lot easier to keep the positive attitude up.

Set the context for your day.

What you do early in the day often sets the context for your day. We have a tendency to want to be consistent with what we have done before. You can use that your advantage in few ways. You can for example do the hardest thing on your to-do list first. When it’s done you’ll feel good about yourself and it makes the day feel easier and you’ll have less inner resistance to getting the rest of the tasks of the day done.

Another example is to start your day of great socially by acting social (even if you don’t feel like it). This tends to make a normal day a lot more fun and positive than if you if you start out by being closed off and feeling guarded.

Act as you want to feel.

Act as if you are feeling positive. After a few minutes you will actually feel it for real. So smile. Use positive language. And so on. It feels weird at first but it really works.

Cut the negative threads of thought quickly.

Do it before you get stuck in them. If I go down a negative spiral of thoughts I quickly – within a minute or two – think Hmm, negativity is stupid and won’t help me. And then I choose to focus on the more positive aspects of whatever I’m thinking about or I start thinking about something else.

Reframe using questions.

I use questions like What’s awesome about this situation?Is this useful? to get myself out of negative perspectives and shift my focus to more positive and useful aspects of anything.

Be present.

I write a lot about being present. One big reason for that is when you are present you are naturally feeling pretty awesome. You become positive, calm and fears you may have are greatly reduced. One way to reconnect with the present is simply to take 30 belly breaths and focus on your in and out-breaths.

Another is to just look at what’s right in front of you right now. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel.

Acceptance.

Sometimes you encounter negative thoughts or moods that you just can’t seem to be able to shake. When this happens – for instance in situations where you have little control, like when you are sick or waiting for your exam results – I use acceptance. By accepting how I feel I stop feeding more energy into the negativity. And so it often disappears or is at least reduced.

Take action.

Inactiveness, indecision and procrastination tend to create negativity. A good way to get around this common problem is to set that positive and active context for your day.

Do the right thing.

Indecision and doing what you know deep down is not right will create negative feelings and thoughts within. Do what you think is right and you will create a lot more positive feelings within.

A habit of gratitude.

Being grateful for all the things you have – health, roof, family, friends, opportunities, food etc. – is a great little tool to shift a negative mood to a positive one. It only takes a minute or two.

When you spend some time regularly to focus on all the good things in your life it also becomes natural to expect more good things to flow into your life. And what you expect from the world is often what you get.

Meditation.

I use guided mediations like Paraliminals, but any form of meditation seems to have positive effects on how you feel and think. A favourite of mine to gain a boost of positivity and eliminate negative thoughts and self-talk is the Self-Esteem Supercharger. I use various Paraliminals about four or five times a week right now.

What are your best tips for building and maintaining a positive attitude?

“In my country we go to prison first and then become President.”

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”

“It always seems impossible until its done.”

Nobel Peace Prize winner Nelson Mandela needs no long introduction. He was a prominent activist in the struggle against the oppression in South Africa and spent 27 years in prison because of that. Finally, in 1990 he was released and went on to become a president that helped to change and unite South Africa.

Here are nine of my favourite fundamentals from Mandela for bringing about change in yourself and in your world.

1. Don’t shrink yourself or your ambitions.

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

It’s tempting to play small. To just settle and take it easy. It would definitely be easier, at least in the short run. Because going after what you really want demands so much time, effort and possible pain along the way. But it’s also there where you grow and can live fully.

While playing small might be easier it also comes with nagging thoughts at the back of your head that say “Is this all there is? Could I have done more?”. Taking the tough road is of course harder in many ways. But it is also there you find the truly awesome triumphs and wonderful times that you may never have experienced otherwise.

2. Move towards your fear.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

What you really want in life is also often what you fear the most to go after. Moving towards fear is often a pretty good – but terrifying – piece of advice. So how can you overcome the fear that holds you back? Here are three tips:

Fear is often based on unhelpful interpretation. As humans we like to look for patterns. The problem is just that we often find negative and not so helpful patterns in our lives based on just one or two experiences. Or by misjudging situations. Or through some silly miscommunication. When you get too identified with your thoughts you’ll believe anything they tell you. A more helpful practise may be to not take your thoughts too seriously. A lot of the time they and your memory are pretty inaccurate.

Be curious. When you are stuck in fear you are closed up. You tend to create division in your world and mind. You create barriers between you and other things/people. Curiosity on the other hand is filled with anticipation and enthusiasm. It opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your fear. Curiousness also opens you up to gain understanding of something. And with understanding vague, fog-like fears disappear.

Don’t cling to your illusion of safety. Why do people sit on their hands? Is it just because they become paralyzed with fear? I’d say no. One big reason why people don’t face their fears is because they think they are safe where they are right now. But the truth is that safety is mostly a superstition. It is created in your mind to make you feel safe. But there is no safety out there really. It is all uncertain and unknown. When you stop clinging to your safety life becomes a whole lot more exciting and interesting. You are no longer as confined by an illusion and realize that you set your limits for what you can do and to a large extent create your own freedom in the world.

3. Be patient and persist.

“After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.”

It would be nice if we got anything we wanted right now. That seldom happens. One of the key traits of successful people is that they persist and have patience where others simply have had enough and go home.

The problem is often that the time-frames we set up for success in our minds are a bit too optimistic. Advertising tells us that we will have success quickly. The idea of quick and easy success permeates society. Why? Because it’s easy to sell. It’s appealing to the mind that is in itself often lazy and wants shortcuts. And it’s easy to get people to buy another “magic pill” that they hope will solve the problem since the first product will probably leave them unsatisfied.

Now, I’m not saying that you sometimes can have great success quickly. But often it takes time. More time than you may have hoped for.

How can you set up realistic time-frames with possible obstacles mapped out reasonably well? Well…

4. Educate yourself.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

By educating yourself about whatever you want to achieve or overcome you can gain a lot of power.

So read books – a good tip is to check out the reviews at amazon.com before buying – and blogs. Ask people who have already done what you want to how they did it. And try to help someone like someone else helped you. It’s an awesome way to gain greater understanding of what you are doing/talking about. Plus, you get to help someone out.

Educating yourself can also, like curiousness, be a great way to get rid of many of the foggy fears you may have and that are holding you back from taking action and moving towards what you want.

5. Make a friend out of an enemy.

“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.”

Turning an enemy or someone we don’t like into a friend is difficult because first impressions can be powerful. Our concept of a person can remain intact if we don’t push further and question and explore it.

Of course, since the ego needs to tell you that you are right and someone else is wrong then it can be hard to change your opinion of someone. That opinion of him/her is tied up in your ego and fuels your sense of being “right”. The key and the way out here is to not take your thoughts or emotions too seriously. To stay on top of them instead of letting them overwhelm and control you.

This can allow you to open your mind to a change in the relationship.

Now, how can you make him/her your friend? One quick suggestion would be to start looking for the positive in the person. Then to take the first step and give some kind of value – like help for instance – to that person. And then to take more steps if s/he is not convinced that you want to change the relationship.

6. You haven’t lost until you don’t get up.

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

“There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.”

Your road to success may not be as bad as it was for Mandela and the people in South Africa. But you will probably have some bad times and some difficult and painful times. There will be bad days and bad weeks (or even months).

When you first get started with something you can be filled with enthusiasm and perfect dreams. Somewhere down the line it can become a bit messier and more uncertain.

Should you give up at such a point? Well, sometimes maybe it is time to quit and find a something new to focus on. But oftentimes it’s like the world is testing you. It wonders if you really want this bad enough. That’s when you need to push forward and not let temporary obstacles – no matter if they are real or just in your mind – stop you.

Failing is normal. Making mistakes is normal. The people with most success are often the people who failed the most. They learned from their mistakes and failures, grew stronger and more resilient and persisted while the rest of the people gave up.

7. Do it now.

“We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.”

Circumstances will never be perfect. If you wait for that perfect day to finally take action, you might wind up waiting for your whole life. Some day most often never comes at all.

Don’t get stuck in that all too common thought trap of thinking that you will do some special thing, but always someday in the future. The right time to take the first step and begin is pretty much always right now.

And if you don’t feel like doing it and getting started, don’t let that inner resistance – if it’s not there for some very good reason – stop you. Your emotions and thoughts are not in control of you even though they may want to fool you into thinking so. You can take action despite what they are telling you.

8. Don’t stop moving now.

“When the water starts boiling it is foolish to turn off the heat.”

I think this is an aspect that is often a bit overlooked.

When you have achieved some success, what do you do? A common approach is to just lean back and enjoy your own awesomeness and what you’ve accomplished. Nothing wrong with that. However, if you lean back for too long you lose your momentum. And then you have to start over again (or at least start moving again from a worse place than right after the success).

Mandela has an awesome point here. Just like you don’t turn off the heat as soon as the water starts boiling you should not retreat or stop moving as soon as you see some success. Because this is the time where you can enjoy what you have accomplished but also should keep on moving and use that momentum and positive, upward spiral of action and results that you have created.

9. Understand that everyone is just human.

“That was one of the things that worried me – to be raised to the position of a semi-god – because then you are no longer a human being. I wanted to be known as Mandela, a man with weaknesses, some of which are fundamental, and a man who is committed.”

When you start to make myths out of people – even though they may have produced extraordinary results – you run the risk of becoming disconnected from them. You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did because they are so very different. So it’s important to keep in mind that everyone is just a human being no matter who they are.

And I think it’s important to remember that we are all human and prone to make mistakes. Holding people to unreasonable standards will only create more unnecessary conflicts in your world and negativity within you. Something one may want to keep in mind right now as Barack Obama begins his presidency.

It’s also important to remember this to avoid falling into the useless habit of beating yourself up over mistakes that you have made. And instead be able to see with clarity where you went wrong and what you can learn from your mistake. And then try again.

Note: This is a guest post by Glen Allsopp of PluginID.

I noticed recently that Henrik had advertised he was looking for guest posters so I decided to contact him to see if the offer was still open.

He told me it was so I began writing the article you are reading right now. The reason I tell you this is that I’m all about living positively, living a life we have designed and one that is full of happiness.

However, positivity is never something I’ve wrote about, it’s not something that crosses my mind, it just tends to come naturally.

With that in mind, I decided to do a little twist on the theme of this blog and look at remaining positive even when it looks like there is no hope and things aren’t going to get better.

5 Things to Remain Positive About

So, what are the 5 things that you should always remain positive about, especially through your low points? Let’s find out shall we…

1. Your Health.

I love the saying ‘If there’s nothing wrong with your health, you don’t have a problem’, I’m not saying I fully believe in it (I don’t believe in problems, only situations) but it definitely makes sense.

When we are born, there’s only one thing all of us having in common, we are going to die.

While that may be a grim statement, you certainly shouldn’t look at things like that. Your health is one of the most vital assets you have, in fact it’s the most vital asset you have.

No matter what car you drive or how much money you have in your bank, they are completely meaningless compared to the importance of being healthy and strong.

When everything seems down, just remember that you are alive and healthy and you have the rest of your life in front of you.

There’s no greater achievement than the gift of life.

2. There’s Always Tomorrow.

You’ve probably heard this a million times but the point from this statement is just as true as ever.

Have you ever been stressing about something a lot, maybe through impatience, and woke up the next day and found that you don’t really care about that ‘problem’ anymore?

I know I have.

There’s always tomorrow is not just a wishful thinking mindset, it’s a fact. Tomorrow will be here just like today was here, so no matter how bad things are going or how bad your day seems, tomorrow will be here when you wake up and give you hundreds of more opportunities.

That isn’t to say you should put things off and always be waiting for tomorrow, this is about realising you still have the time to turn things around and improve your situation.

3. Your Potential.

There are some people in this world who are billionaires. There are some people in this world that discovered gravity, invented electricity and even someone who came up with the internet.

You know what the difference is between you and all these amazing people?

Absolutely nothing, you’re both human.

Some people never live up to their full potential, mostly because they believe that success and fame or happiness and clarity are left for people who are more fortunate than them.

Do you think Tim Berners-Lee woke up and decided to create the internet?

No way. But I’m sure he had an idea of what he wanted to achieve and went out there to start doing it.

You have the potential to be anyone and do anything you want, our time on this planet gives us amazing chances and opportunities, don’t waste it because you feel like you have no hope.

You have as good a chance to change the world as anybody, you just have to realise it.

People made millions, people saved lives, you are a person, you can do the same.

4. Things Could be Worse.

Things could be worse, they could always be worse, at least in 99.9% of situations we find ourselves in.

I recently told the story of a prostitute who was kicked out on the street by a man who had sex with her and didn’t pay. This was while being watched by lots of people with their heads hanging out of office windows to see what was going on.

Imagine being in that situation.

No matter what problems you think you have right now, they could be worse. If you are struggling to pay your next bill, at least you are living in a home while doing it or have a family who are willing to support you.

If you’ve just divorced your wife, it’s not like all other women on the planet have disappeared, you can still get out there and find another girl for you.

Life is abundant, don’t take your current situation as the worst it could be, because more often than not, things could be a whole level worse than you can imagine.

5. You’ll Come Out Stronger.

I love challenges, I really do.

I love knowing I’m scared of doing something but that I can conquer it.

For example I recently did a bungee jump, I was very nervous before jumping from an 80ft bridge but I loved knowing I was nervous, I loved having the opportunity to overcome the fear.

‘Hard times make you stronger’ or variations of that phrase are probably something you’ve heard 100 times before, that’s because it’s true. Think of any hard time in your life whether it’s:

• Losing your job
• Going through a divorce
• Getting beaten up / mugged / burgled (I’ve had all 3)
• Being financially unstable

If you’ve been through any of these and came out on the other side then you will know that they’ve probably made you stronger as a person and helped you with other aspects of your life.

Be thankful for the challenges you have right now, because on the other end is a new you with a lot more strength than the old one.

Glen Allsopp writes on the subject of Personal Development over at PluginID. You can help him help you by subscribing to his feed, here.