Bob Dylan’s Short Guide to a Happier Life

“All I can do is be me, whoever that is.”

“He not busy being born is busy dying.”

One of the most successful and enigmatic musicians of the last hundred years must be Bob Dylan. Throughout his career, albums and awesome songs he has constantly redefined himself and both confused and enthralled listeners.

Here is some clarity though, some of my favourite words of wisdom from Dylan.

Find what you love to do.

“A lot of people can’t stand touring but to me it’s like breathing. I do it because I’m driven to do it.”

I think this is a first step that many of us have a big problem with. Or just forget about. Because when you find something you really love to do it doesn’t seem like work that much anymore.

When you do something you love you don’t have to push yourself so much. You keep going because you like doing it, not just because your want to reach some goal (although that can be exciting too). Taking action also becomes natural when you doing something you really want to do. A lot of the time you can’t wait to get going with it.

So the problem many of us encounter may not be that we don’t know enough tips to keep ourselves motivated to keep going. The problem may be that we are working on the wrong thing all together.

So do you find out what you really want to do?

I certainly don’t have all the answers for that one, but one tip is just to explore life.

To just try things out and see what you love. It’s easy to have theories about what you or may not like. But you never know until you have tried it for a while in real life.

Understand that success is today too.

“A person is a success if they get up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.”

When you read about success it often seems like something you should work towards. Something there in the distant future.

This way of thinking can lead to many ups and downs. Sometimes you feel really good and are working towards what you want in an effective way. Sometimes you feel like doing nothing. It can become a rollercoaster.

But one of the most important parts of success in area of your life is simply consistency. To get up in the morning each day and do what you know is right in your life.

Working out instead of coming up with excuses not to. Being kind and open instead of closing up and gossiping or trying to put someone down or making them wrong in an interaction or just in your head simply to feel better about yourself. Pushing a bit outside of your comfort zone instead of staying inside it and feeling safe.

How you live today and each today is very much connected to the most fundamental goals people have in life. To be healthy. To be effective and get the most important things done. To raise self esteem and self confidence and keep it at a high level (things that to a large part come from taking responsibility for each day in your life and doing what you know is the right thing to do).

So success is not about what you do in a few inspired rushes towards the goal. Things take time. Often more time than you might think. So keep an eye on where you are going. But keep your focus on the process instead of that alluring goal. Do it by making today and each day a success.

Life is change.

“There is nothing so stable as change.”

As humans, we often want to feel safe. We want certainty. And for a while we may think we have it. And then something always comes along to knock that feeling out of us.

So there is a superstition of safety. This is not just something negative though. It’s also created by your mind so you can function in life. No point in going all paranoid about what could happen a minute from now day in and day out. But there is also not that much point in clinging to an illusion of safety. So you need to find balance where you don’t obsessed by the uncertainty but also recognize that it is there and live accordingly.

As you stop clinging to your safety life also becomes a whole lot more exciting and interesting. You are no longer as confined by an illusion and realize that you set your limits for what you can do and to a large extent create your own freedom in the world. You are no longer building walls to keep yourself safe as those walls wouldn’t protect you anyway.

If you want to grow and move forward it’s not only essential to get used to the thought of life as changing and unknown but also to let go of the past. When you let go of the past then change becomes so much easier to handle. And growing becomes easier too.

Because if your goal is to get fitter, then when you let go of a self-image of being unhealthy and instead stick to the one where you are healthy you stop working against yourself. Your actions, thoughts and self-image are now aligned. And so doing the right things by eating healthy food and working out becomes the natural thing rather than something you have to push yourself to do every day.

How to Bridge the Distance Between You and Someone Else


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Today I would like to share three of my favorite tips for making it easier to establish a relationship with someone. Maybe in a new class. On a date. At work or in a job interview. Or at some party next weekend.

Assume rapport.

This one can work quickly. That is, if you can suspend your disbelief for while and keep your mind open. It won’t work if you don’t think it will work.

So, what is assuming rapport?

Basically, instead of going into a conversation or meeting nervously and thinking “how will this go?” you take different approach. You assume that you and the person(s) will establish a good connection (rapport).

How do you do that? Just before the meeting, you just think/pretend that you’ll be meeting a good friend. Then you’ll naturally slip into a more comfortable, confident and enjoyable emotional state and frame of mind. In this state of mind the conversation tends to flow more naturally too, without much thinking. Just like with your friends.

I have used this small tip many dozens of times by now and have found it surprisingly useful and easy to implement. It’s a sort of variation of acting as you would like to feel.

This tip also helps you and the other people to set a good frame for the interaction. A frame is always set at the start of an interaction. It might be a nervous and stiff frame, a formal and let’s-get-to-the-point kind of frame or perhaps a super relaxed one. The thing is that the frame that is set in the beginning of the conversation is often one that may stay on for a while. First impressions can last for quite some time.

Now, meeting your best friend might not always be the best thing to think about before a meeting at school/work. In that case you may want to try to imagine a similar meeting that went well and your interactions with the people there.

But what if you come off as a weird person? Well, that is always a risk in the beginning when you start using this tip. But I believe that most of the time such thoughts are only in your head. No one likes awkward and uncomfortable interactions. So if you just assume rapport immediately then most people that may have been nervous/felt awkward will adapt to your more comfortable and relaxed frame.

This is also a quick way to reconnect with the mental and emotional state your friends might be referring to when they give you the classic advice to “just be yourself”.

See yourself in other people.

“Who sees all beings in his own self, and his own self in all beings, loses all fear.”
Isa Upanishad, Hindu Scripture

The ego wants to divide your world. It wants to create barriers, separation and loves to play the comparison game. The game where people are different compare to you, the game where you are better than someone and worse than someone else. All of that creates fear in social situations. Doing the opposite removes fear.

That there is no real separation between beings, that we are one and the same, might sound a bit corny.

But one thought you may want to try for a day is that everyone you meet is your friend. You do this practically by using the previous tip.

Another idea is to see what parts of yourself you can see in someone you meet.

As I mentioned above, there is pretty much always a frame set in any interaction. It may make you and the others feel awkward or comfortable. But underlying such feelings is a frame of mind.

Either it asks us how we are different from this person. Or how we are the same as this person. The first frame is based in how the ego likes to judge people and create separation to strengthen itself (either through feeling better or more like a victim). The second one creates warmth, an openness and curiosity within. There is no place to focus on fear or judgement anymore.

Practise.

Although the two ideas above can be very useful, the most important thing – as with anything – is practise. By doing things and learning from mistakes, failures and successes you can improve any part of your life. Your social skills too.

But just reading some tips will not magically improve any of your skills or transform you in some way. You do that yourself by being patient and persistent.

One interesting thing I have discovered after having been interested in personal development, positive thinking etc. for a few years now is that over time you can improve what may be called emotional and mental flexibility.

What I mean by that is that you don’t become so identified with your current thoughts and emotions. You realize that they are just there right now but will not be there forever. You stop being so reactive to what happens in your surroundings and stop thinking that you need to feel/think a specific way in a specific situation.

What you feel and think becomes more of a choice. Just like you can choose to turn right or left while walking. I don’t use assuming rapport in the way I mentioned above that much anymore. I have slipped into that emotional state so many times by now I can just recall how it feels to be relaxed and comfortable and choose to put myself in that state. It doesn’t work all the time of course, but most of the time it does.

But if you have been totally identified with your feelings and thoughts for decades then it can be hard snap out of that. Choosing how you think and feel may sound kinda stupid or impossible.

That is why you need to practise. To convince itself and to silence your inner doubts your mind needs proof that this stuff actually works for you. The proof is the experiences you have.

And by practise I mean using, for example, assuming rapport a couple of dozen times. Not two or three times.

By being open and believing that this stuff works and by practising it over and over – just like a tennis serve – it become easier and easier to do it.

If you found this article helpful, please share it on Facebook, Twitter and Stumbleupon. Thank you very much! =)

5 Reasons to Slow Down Your Life Today, and How to Do It


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“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
Jim Goodwin

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”
Lily Tomlin

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going to fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”
Eddie Cantor

The world is moving at breakneck speed. Information is overflowing 24 hours a day. At work or in school we are busy, busy, busy. Lunch is wolfed down. When we get home there is still so much to do, so much we want before finally falling into the bed.

Sometimes this works fine. Sometimes this can cause problem, feelings like it’s all just too much and like you are not in control.

So I like to slow things down.

In this article I would like to explain why and how to do it practically.

If you are feeling like your speed in life is causing difficulties try one or a few of these things and see how they work for you.

1. You can lose or maintain weight.

It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to register that you are full. That’s because the food has to reach the intestines before your body starts sending signals telling your brain that you feel full. By slowing down your eating your brain can stop you before you eat too much.

I have found that that if I eat too fast then I usually eat about 15-25% more before I feel full. If you do this every day of the week those extra calories can quickly add up.

How to slow down:

  • Eat before you get ridiculously hungry. If you’re really hungry it will be hard to eat slowly. The best way to avoid this is to not wait for too long but to eat when you feel just a little hungry. Or to have your meals at specified times during the day that you know from experience will be appropriate to avoid getting too hungry.
  • Put down your fork between the bites. The classic advice is to put down your fork and then chew. Then to pick up your fork again after you’ve swallowed, take another bite and repeat the process. I like this tip because it forces you to slow down. Instead of taking that stressed energy from your day and just letting it power through the meal too as you quickly wolf down everything on your plate.
  • Focus on the food and yourself. Not on what other people are doing.It’s easy to get drawn into someone else’s pace while eating (just like when driving or running). Be conscious of keeping your own pace instead of just unconsciously eating as fast as everyone around the table might do.

2. You can lower your stress levels.

When you feel like life is going to fast then you feel like you are losing control over it or barely hanging on. This, as you also probably have noticed, can cause a lot of unnecessary stress.

How to slow down: Simply do the things you are doing slower. If you are moving quickly then just take a deep breath and slow down your movement and your pace when walking. Drive your car and ride your bike a little slower. As mentioned above, eat slower. Take in life around you a bit instead of focusing on setting a new speed record.

3. You can gain clarity and find and do what is most important.

As everything moves a bit too fast it is easy to get lost. If you don’t think about what you are doing then you can easily get lose half your work day doing busywork. You mind just think “Hurry, hurry, hurry! What is the next thing?” instead of “What is the best use of my time and energy?”

How to slow down: When I get lost in such frantic and stressful activity I take a deep breath. I just take in my surroundings for a minute or two to relax and reconnect with this present moment. Then I ask myself:

What is the most important thing I can do right now?
Or I ask myself: If I only had two hours to work today then what would I spend those two hours working on?

As you take a breath, slow down and reconnect with what is most important a calm and focused energy and effectiveness replaces the frantic and stressed energy of a mind that is going too fast for its own good. Then you can take action and start doing the most important things one at a time.

This is not only helpful for daily decisions but for bigger decisions too. As you slow down it becomes easier to find a healthy perspective and to think things through in a clear and calm way.

4. You can get new ideas and let creativity flow again.

If your mind is constantly bombarded with new information, voices and sounds then it will be very hard to find room for creativity and for getting new ideas. Influences are good for creativity but a overload of input just makes you feel like your mind is overstuffed and like you are just trying to keep up with it all.

So you may need to slow down and free up some space in that mind.

How to slow down: Take a break. Or take a walk. Sit down in nature and watch the ocean. Or take a shower. Or take a while to just lie down on your bed and sofa and shut out the world for that time. Just be there without much thought about what you want to do or about the past or future. Just relax and be there and focus on the world around you.

The thing is that when you don’t focus on needing new ideas or on needing to be creative then your mind starts to relax and work on its own. And soon ideas start to pop up out of nowhere in your mind. Just be sure to write them down immediately as they can pass and disappear out into the world quickly again.

5. You can connect with the present moment and just fully enjoy what is happening right now.

When you are aligned with the present moment you tend to feel good and relaxed. Your mood is optimistic. You do your work in a focused manner and the social part of your life tends to go smoother and become more fun. You do things well without having to think that much at all really. You are flowing.

This is a wonderful headspace to spend as much of your week in as you can. You feel and work better this way.

This is also a good headspace to simply enjoy your life. It helps you appreciate the little and big things in life fully because you are fully there when they happen instead of planning for the future or reliving the past so intensely that you can’t fully appreciate and enjoy a meal, a conversation with a friend or a walk by the ocean.

How to slow down:

I usually just slow down what I am doing and go to a full stop. Then I take in my surroundings fully as they are happening right now for a minute or two.

I listen to the cars going by the house. I watch my desktop and the glass of water next to it. I may look out the window and see blue sky, the white snow and the cold air outside standing still. I feel the slight chilliness of the floor, the warmth in the air in this room and I feel the cold water in my mouth as I take a sip.

This is all I focus on as I slow down my day for a few minutes to move out of confusion, stress and daydreaming and into this moment. It may sound a bit odd but it makes a world of difference.

If you found this article helpful, please share it on Facebook, Twitter and Stumbleupon. Thank you very much! =)

7 Habits That Simplify and Relaxify My Workday


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[hana-code-insert name=’socialbuttons’ /]“Simplicity is an acquired taste. Mankind, left free, instinctively complicates life.”
Katherine F. Gerould

“Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
Albert Einstein

“First we make our habits, then our habits make us.”
John C. Noble

Over the last five years I have changed a lot about how I work, how much I get done and how well I do those things.

Today I get a lot of things done but that does not mean that my day is more stressful. In fact it is often more relaxing than it used to be. This is not because I have become some kind of superhuman but simply because I have developed a few new habits and rituals and I stick with them as best I can each day.

In this article I will share 7 of the habits that have had the largest positive impact on my daily work.

1. Single-tasking. Even during breaks.

Single-tasking means that you do just one thing at a time instead of trying to do a number of things at the same time. This is one of those tips you find listed on most productivity blogs and in many books on personal effectiveness for a good reason. It is a very beneficial way to work.

When I work this way I only focus on one thing at a time. I focus on it fully with no other thought creeping in. This helps me to do things better and in a shorter amount of time. But the most important reason why I work like this is because how it makes me feel. It makes me feel relaxed and calm. It drains a minimum of energy from me.

I try to stick to this as best I can each day, even when I take a break. If I watch a an episode of a TV-show, read a book or check a webpage during my break I still only do one thing at a time.

By sticking to the single-tasking during the whole day – even during breaks – it becomes easier to single-task and hit a state of flow when I get back to work again. And I strengthen my single-tasking habit and I tend to stay in the present moment a lot more during the day.

It may not always be possible to single-task but I recommend using it as much as you can.

2. Use a short and prioritized to-do list.

I start my day by doing the most important task. Today it was writing this article so now – just after breakfast – I am writing it.

Just before I started writing I checked my online to-do list on Teuxdeux.com (it’s free and awesome). I added a few items, moved a few of them to other days and then prioritized today’s tasks.

Then I didn’t think or plan anymore since that often leads to procrastination. I switched programs and started writing instead.

3. Use a minimalistic workspace.

My work space is just a laptop on a small black desk made out of wood. I use a comfy chair and there is room for my glass of water beside the computer.

That’s it. There are no distractions here. Just me, the computer and the water.

4. Never work after 7 in the evening.

I am strict with limits during my day. Not to become the most self-disciplined person in the world but simply to ensure that I do not work too much or too little. And to ensure that I do not spend too much time on low-priority activities.

I have set a time-limit so I always have time to wind down and relax after my day. This is also very important to me because if I work too late then I will have a hard to time to fall asleep and I find the hours in the bed less relaxing than they could be.

You may want to set another stop-limit but I highly recommend this practice to not bring home your work and to be able to fully relax during your week and not feel drained as the weekend approaches. And if you start with the most important task each day and work through your to-do list that way in a single-tasking manner then you’ll probably be done with your tasks before you reach your time-limit.

5. Check everything just once a day.

I check my email inboxes, blog statistics, my online earnings, Twitter and Facebook just once a day. I combine all that checking into one small daily ritual so I don’t slip and go checking it more during the day and waste my time, energy and attention.

6. Check everything at the end of the workday.

I do the inbox etc. check mentioned above at the end of my workday. This is to make sure that I do get the most important things done first. If you check these things too early or too often then the day just seems to fly by and you didn’t get much done at all.

If you can’t always prevent or eliminate doing those less important things then at least postpone them for a few hours so that you can make a dent in your most important work.

7. Simple refocusing.

Over my simple workspace there hangs a small white board. It has three sentences written on it. All of them help me simplify my day. From the top:

  • “Keep things extremely simple”. When I lose my way during the day and slip into procrastination or overcomplicating  things I can just look up and remind myself about how to go about things.
  • “Clean work”. This one reminds me to single-task and to just do one thing at a time fully focused during my whole workday.
  • “There is no problem”. I have (or my mind has) a tendency to sometimes start to look for problems where there really are none. If I feel I have a problem I usually look up and read this sentence. It helps me to think things over once again. Sometimes I find that there really is a problem that I can solve. Oftentimes I discover that the problem may just be something have I have created in my mind. And so I let it go.

What is your best tip to simplify and/or relaxify the workday?

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How to Break Out of a Motivational Slump


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[hana-code-insert name=’socialbuttons’ /]“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice”
Wayne Dyer

If you are setting a new goal or establishing a new habit then it’s pretty likely that you’ll run into a motivational low point.

A point where you just feel like giving up, like it really doesn’t matter if you continue.

What to do then?

Here’s what I do instead of giving up and going home.

Reconnect with optimism.

How you perceive what you are doing or are about to do makes a huge difference. The positive and constructive way of looking at things energizes and inspires you. It makes it easier to keep going even when you hit roadblocks.

The negative and defeatist way of looking at things will on the other hand suck the motivation out of you and you’ll probably quit just as soon as you hit a roadblock or two. It is essential to develop a more constructive and optimistic way of looking at things to keep the motivation up until you have reached your goal.

A very practical way to become a more optimistic person is to ask the better questions that will empower you.

Ask the right questions that will focus on the good such as:

What is awesome about this situation?

Ask the questions that will focus on the lesson or opportunity in a situation such as:

What can I learn from this? And what is the opportunity in this situation?

And ask the questions that focus on how to solve a problem. Instead of complaining, blaming or asking why you have the problem. Ask action oriented questions like:

How can I solve this? And what is the next small step that I can take to do so?

List the positives.

List the positives of getting this thing done or reaching your goal. Do it on paper, on your computer or just in your head.

When you feel unmotivated and don’t feel like doing something it’s very easy to get stuck and just focus on the negative aspects such as it being hard work or the risk of pain or failure.

So you need to change what you are focusing on to motivate yourself to take action. Making a list of positives like benefits, possible opportunities and simply reasons why you want to do this can be very effective for turning your focus around.

Remember how far you have come and to compare yourself with yourself.

Comparing what you have and your results to what other people have and have accomplished can really kill your motivation. I believe this is one of the most common motivational mistakes people make and it can make you feel really bad even though you may be doing quite good.

So keep in mind that there are always people ahead of you. Most likely quite a bit of people. And a few of them are miles ahead. So focus on you. On your results. And how you can and have improved your results.

Reviewing your results is important so that you see where you have gone wrong in the past to avoid similar missteps further on. But it’s also important because it’s a great motivator to see how much you have improved and how far you have come. Often you can be pleasantly surprised when you do such a review.

Work out.

This is one of the most effective ways to change how you feel. I like it because even if you feel too frustrated and down to do ask yourself the right questions you can still drag yourself to the gym or wherever you go to exercise. And if you just do your pretty mindless repetitions then your body will do the rest. Endorphins, testosterone and other chemicals will be released. Inner tensions will loosen up and leave your body. Your negative emotional pattern will be broken.

After the workout you’ll be in another emotional state than you were before. Plus, you’ll probably get a boost of new energy.

Talk about it.

Sometimes you just need to let it out and talk to someone about your motivational low point.

Letting it all out can release a lot of pent up emotion and let you get a new, more positive and healthy perspective on things. Often we build our own small or medium-sized problems into big scary monsters in our minds. Letting the monsters out into the light and letting others see them can make us realize that we were making a too big of a deal of all of it. It allows us to lighten up a bit, to not take things too seriously and to start moving out of the self-created slump.

So talk to a friend or family member. Or try an anonymous internet forum with likeminded people. Perhaps you’ll even get a few pieces of great and free advice.

Remember to have fun.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the seriousness of a task and the stress and tension of completing it. So remember that you are allowed to have fun when you are working on it. There is no rule that says you have to be all serious about it all the time.

When you can, create fun in a task. Compete with yourself to finish it even faster than you did the last time, whistle a nice tune while working or have fun and joke around with your co-workers and class mates. Then, with a lighter frame of mind, you’ll stay motivated to keep working and finish it.

Take a break.

Yeah, sometimes you just need to take a break. Perhaps your time-plan for your goal or new habit is just too optimistic?

Maybe you have worked harder than you can manage right now.

Then take a break. A few hours or days of rest and recuperation can change how you feel in a remarkable way and recharge your batteries.

What is your favorite way to get out of a motivational slump?

If you found this article helpful, please share it on Facebook, Twitter and Stumbleupon. Thank you very much! =)


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“I never knew an early-rising, hard-working, prudent man, careful of his earnings, and strictly honest who complained of bad luck.”
Henry Ward Beacher

“We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like?”
Jean Cocteau

“Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers.”
Unknown

Luck. Some hope for more of it. Some don’t believe in it. Some think that everyone but themselves are lucky.

But can you create more of your own good luck in life? Here are a few timeless thoughts on that topic.

Work hard. Be proactive.

“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more luck I have.”
Thomas Jefferson

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”
Bruce Lee

This is in my experience very true. The more I work, the more I take chances and am proactive in life the more times I tend to be lucky.

Just sitting around and waiting for some good luck to land in your lap tends to be a pretty bad strategy. Creating your own opportunities and taking massive action simply gives you more of most things. Even luck.

Also, the more you practice the more you improve a deciding factor like your intuition. A better gut feeling can result in more good decisions that may seem lucky from an outside perspective.

Be prepared.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
Seneca

“One-half of life is luck; the other half is discipline – and that’s the important half, for without discipline you wouldn’t know what to do with luck.”
Carl Zuckmeyer

Now you that you have spotted an opportunity, what to do? Exactly.

It’s a great idea to have an idea about how you can use an opportunity in a way benefits you. If you are unprepared both then it’s easy to fumble away half of your lucky moments.

So, read. Talk about what you want with others that have more experience and knowledge than you. Ask them a lot of questions. Practice, educate yourself and form effective habits so that you are ready to make good and useful decisions and put in the hard and focused work when the opportunity arises.

Luck may often just be the golden rule.

“Your luck is how you treat people.”
Unknown

As you treat someone else she or he will feel like treating you. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But over time these things have a way of evening out.

So what looks like someone being lucky a lot from an outside perspective may just be he or she using the golden rule in a helpful way.

Being unlucky can be a sort of luck for you too.

“Luck never made a man wise.”
Seneca

“All of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck – who keeps right on going – is the man who is there when the good luck comes – and is ready to receive it.”
Robert Collier

“Each misfortune you encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow’s good luck.”
Og Mandino

Having some bad luck can in many ways be a good thing too.

When things are rough but you somehow get through them you tend to gain strength and perhaps a bit of wisdom and perspective on life. It may not have been fun. But those gains can be very helpful in the future.

I think that things do often balance out over time. You have a bad meeting, date, day or even week. But, in my experience at least, then you often have something good happen or you get a lucky break the next day or week. Of course, in that situation it is important to be attentive and not still be focusing on that negative situation in the past.

The important thing is to keep going through ups and downs. The worst thing is when you just go passive and don’t do anything. Because then nothing seems to happen in a good long while.

I also find it useful to ask helpful questions when having a “negative situation”. Question like these:

  • What is the good thing about this?
  • What can I learn from this?
  • What hidden opportunity can I find within this situation?

At first it might seem stupid to ask such a thing when having a bad day/meeting/test in school or date. But after a while you get used to it and your mind even starts to do it automatically from time to time.

Another important benefit of having some bad luck is what Robert Collier mentions above. When the good luck comes you are ready to recieve it.

You feel that after that bad luck you actually deserve your lucky break. This ties into hard work too. When you feel you have deserved your lucky break then you will have no or less problem with taking it.

There will be less self sabotage. There will be less situations where you start telling yourself that you can’t handle it or don’t deserve it.

You just go for it. And by having kept on going through the rough times you have gained strength and wisdom that will enable you to make the best out of this new and lucky situation.