3 Simple Ways to Improve Your Social Skills Starting Today

Your social skills is one of the most important and essential things in life.

It is one of those things that make a huge difference if you work on them.

As you improve your social skills you can:

  • Build more social freedom. This is truly wonderful. Instead feeling stuck or staying in your shell you can expand your life in so many ways. By building your own inner social freedom you can connect with more people in better and more fun and interesting ways plus create new and exciting opportunities romantically, in your career or with friends.
  • Deepen your relationships. With better social skills and relationship habits you can explore new depths with friends, a partner, your family and the people that are closest to you in life.
  • Find more happiness and self-confidence. As you deepen your relationships and create more social freedom for yourself you’ll also find more happiness in your life. And as your social skills and relationship habits improve and you expand your comfort zone your self-confidence will grow more and more too.

Those are a couple of the best things I have gotten out improving my own social skills over the past 8 years.

And they are also a few of the most important reasons why I have created my brand new 12-week course, The Smart Social Skills Course.

The course will launch on Wednesday, the 8:th of May at 1 pm EST (that’s 17.00 GMT). And the first 100 people to join the course will get it at a 30% discount.

But that is not the only thing about social skills that I wanted to share today. I also wanted to share three simple ways that you can start using today to start improving your own social skills and relationship habits.

1. Ask yourself: How can I give value to my world today?

We tend to get what we give socially.

So be careful about what you give.

A few of the most powerful ways to give value in everyday life and in any relationship are to:

Help out.

This could be practically by helping someone move, by asking someone you know for good advice that your friend needs or by connecting someone with someone else.

It could be by giving him or her some advice or perspective on a challenge he or she is facing.

Truly listen.

Just be there fully and truly listen to what he or she is saying. Or lend an ear and just let someone vent and figure things out.

Take the first step.

People often stay still and do not take the first step because of fear of failure or rejection, lack of time, laziness or some other reason.

So add value to the lives of your friends by taking care of planning and fixing the party or picnic.

Send out an email to someone in your business world you would like to get to know better.

Ask someone for a date instead of circling around each other any longer.

You can also ask yourself: how can I give value in a way today that I rarely do?

I have found that this question can illuminate how you easily can give more value in overlooked ways in your conversations and relationships.

2. Grab conversational topics from your surroundings.

One thing that I use to find things to talk or joke about or deeply discuss is to have a look at my surroundings and simply find a topic there.

If there is a fish tank at a party you can start talking about that and fishing if you are into that. Or you can move the conversation to hobbies for instance.

If there is something curious or interesting as the two of you walk by the newspaper stand then you can comment on that or ask what the other person thinks about that piece of information.

If you are eating you can talk about what you are eating and then move on to your love of cooking or the best or worst meal you ever had.

Training your mind to free-associate like this and grabbing topics from whatever is happening around you is a simple way to very rarely run out things to talk about.

It is a habit that brings a lot of fun to my own life and it quite often creates unexpected and interesting conversations.

3. Tell yourself you will tell someone else about this conversation later on.

One of the best ways to remember something better is to know that you are going to tell what you learned to someone else. Then you’ll be more alert and what is said in the conversation simply seems to stick better in my experience.

So tell yourself that later on today you will tell someone else about what Bob or Lisa told you in the conversation you are having.

You may not always tell it to someone else or even be able to do it because what you learn might be private. But using this mindset and practicing it and actually telling someone about the conversation when it is possible can be a big help.

By using this technique you’ll also start asking more follow-up questions naturally because you’ll become more interested and you want to understand more deeply. And this also makes the person that is talking to you feel more understood and interesting and so your conversation and relationship will be better.

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About the Author

Henrik Edberg is the creator of the Positivity Blog and has written weekly articles here since 2006. He has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Gothenburg and has been featured on Lifehacker, HuffPost and Paulo Coelho’s blog. Click here to learn more…

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • I used to be so awkward in social gathering, for I lacked confidence. I noticed that after I lost the weight and had put on decent clothes, my confidence grew stronger. Today I could talk to anyone in the street.

    This post made me smile. Real talk :-)

  • I really like “can we add value to my world today” but I equally like listen… I have noticed people don’t listen much today they tend to want to just talk about themselves.. I find the best relationships I formed have been from listening to a person and asking questions. I think if you make a person feel important they remember you more, but you have to truly listen and this in itself is a true art.. Thanks for the article.

  • Thanks for the advice Henrik. I’m an introvert who’s trying to get our more and I’ll work to apply some of the things you’ve written here in the coming days. I think just by looking for ways you could provide value in your relationships sets you apart from 90% of people.