One of the very best ways that I have found to make daily life easier, lighter, more positive and less stressful is to learn how to not make mountains out of molehills.
To learn how to not add extra drama or overanalyze or overthink things. To not create problems where there are none or there are simply very small issues you can fix.
Learning this has helped me to have fewer problems and worries in my work. And in my relationships. It also made my dating life more effortless and fun when I used to be single.
So I’d like to share the most effective ways that I have learned to do this.
And at the end of this post I’ll also share what I have spent most of my time with lately.
Quickly stop and reexamine your thoughts.
When I am starting to make a mountain out of a molehill and I am starting to sweat the small stuff then I usually use a stop-phrase.
As a big problem is starting to form in my thoughts I say in my mind: Hold on now…
This makes me pause and reflect on those negative thoughts that are starting to form.
I follow that up with asking myself these three questions to open my mind up and to reframe my thoughts.
Question #1: Who cares?
This one is simple and sharp and helps me to let go of small stuff. The stuff that doesn’t really matter in a relationship. An overly angry and attacking email I might get. Some nitpicking or unnecessary polishing on a task perhaps.
It helps me to realign with the smarter perspective where I just have time and energy for the most important things in life. It helps me to be cool about stuff instead of overreacting and wasting a chunk of my life.
Question #2: Will this matter 5 years from now? Or even 5 weeks from now?
This one is really powerful. It can make just about any difficulty seem pretty trivial and not as heavy as you might have imagined for the past few hours, days or weeks.
It is a question that has helped me many times to see an issue for how it really is and for how big it truly is. This sobering perspective makes it easy to start thinking more clearly again and to find a small step you can take today to move forward and to solve the issue.
Question #3: Does anyone on the planet have it worse than me right now?
This is one of quickest ways to stop feeling sorry for yourself in one of these mountain-building situations and to start feeling grateful for everything you still got.
By using this question and in my mind seeing how other people live and the issues they face my own narrow and self-centered perspective widens and becomes more positive and action-oriented.
Just by using these three questions I can usually deflate most self-made mountains in my mind and see a more helpful view of my life again.
If not, or if it just works partially, then I move on to the next step…
Talk it out with someone.
By talking to someone about the “big” problem in your mind and by letting it out into the light it becomes a lot easier to see the issue for what it really is.
Sometimes just venting to someone for a few minutes makes a huge difference and after a while you may start wondering what you were so worried or pessimistic about in the first place.
And at other times the person you are talking to can help you to find a more helpful and practical perspective by sharing his or her view and experiences in this area of life.
Replace the added drama with something more fun.
By making a firm decision to not add extra drama to your life to spice it up or to make it more exciting and instead making a choice to replace it with more interesting and fun stuff you can make life simpler.
How do you do that though?
One way is to get more of a life. To add more exciting, fun, interesting or fulfilling activities to your schedule and life.
By doing so you’ll have less time and energy to spare in your days and week to spend on making mountains out of molehills and creating drama. And you’ll have less need for that old drama-creating habit too because you are now making your life more interesting in another and healthier way.
Coming Very Soon: The Smart Social Skills Course
Over the last six months I have been working hard and I am now very happy and excited to announce that my latest and what I believe may be my most helpful product so far is almost finished.
It is called The Smart Social Skills Course. And it is a 12-week course in two of the most important things in life: how to improve your social skills and build better and healthier relationships.
Over the past 7 years I have improved my own social skills and relationship habits a lot.
I have gone from someone who was in many situations painfully shy and socially unconfident to someone who feels so much more at ease and relaxed socially.
And in this course I want to share what has worked, the best things I have found for becoming a better conversationalist, making great first impressions, overcoming shyness, building your social self-confidence and being able to be your best self and have a lot more fun.
Plus a whole lot more.
Each week of the course you’ll get simple and practical action-steps to follow to understand your own situation better and to improve your social skills and relationship habits.
If this is something you’re interested in, then be on the lookout next week for more information on the exact launch date and time and on the special offer that you can get on the course.
Image by notsogoodphotography (license).
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Get yourself involved in conversation and improve yourself. Find people who share the same interests as you. Join groups of your interest and interact honestly. Don’t be fake.