“Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.”

Last week, at the age of 86, one of the most motivational people in the personal development world passed away.

Zig Ziglar served in the US Navy during World War II and after the war he worked as a salesman. Later on he started writing books and he held seminars and live events on how to become a better salesman and on motivation and self-improvement.

Today, as my own small tribute, I’d like to share five of my own favorite motivational lessons that I have learned from Zig Ziglar.

1. You have to keep the motivation up.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

So true for many things in life. It’s not like you can hit a light switch and then you are changed for life. The most meaningful and important things tend to need continued effort.

Now, if you want to start your day with getting your motivation up here are two quick tips:

• Spend 3 minutes with remembering your successes. If you lose your motivation or it is low in the morning then it is easy to get stuck in looking at your failures and so you get stuck in inaction. So instead, sit down for three minutes and just remember your successes. Let them wash over you and refuel your inspiration and motivation.
• Make a list of upsides. Take a few minutes to write down all the benefits you will get from achieving something, like for example getting into better shape or making more money. And be sure to include very personal reasons and benefits. Like being able to travel to your dream destination or spend more quality time with your son or daughter. Put that list somewhere where you will see it every day until you reach your dream.

2. Failure is not permanent.

“Remember that failure is an event, not a person.”

It is very easy to start thinking of mistakes or failures like permanent things. Like they are you and you are a failure or loser.

But these things are just like successes not permanent. Things go up and down.

So don’t identify with the failure. Take some time to accept that it happened but try to not beat yourself up about it or make it bigger than it is. You don’t have to be perfect. And no one who tries to go outside of his or her comfort zone can avoid failures, mistakes and low points.

And remember…

3. Learn what you can from your low points.

“If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.”

You only lose when you give up and go home or when don’t learn anything from a defeat.

If you keep going despite bumps in the road and temporary defeats then you are still on your way towards your dream and goal.

So don’t revisit the past too much. Instead, learn what you can from the defeat and keep moving forward.

Ask yourself:

• What can I learn from this?
• What do I need to do or not do to avoid winding up the same negative situation again?
• And what is the hidden opportunity within this situation? (there is often one if you just take a little time to look for it)

4. Look at your world and the people in it through an open and positive lens.

“The way you see people is the way you treat them.”

And the way you treat them they tend to treat you.

Now, you may not become best friends or get along splendidly with everyone.

But with a positive and open attitude towards the world and the people you meet and know you’ll feel more inclined to listen, get to know them better and to help out if you can. And over time things tend to even out. You get back what you give.

For more openness and positivity towards others try these two questions:

What parts of this person can I see in myself? How is he or she like me?

This one can help you to shift your perspective from what is different and what you feel the need to judge to what the two of you have in common instead. It tears down the mental barriers between the two you and you can feel closer to and more understanding and appreciative of this person.

5. Get the ball rolling today.

“If you wait until all the lights are “green” before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.”

You can wait for everything to be just perfect before you get started but that usually results in years passing you by before getting going. Or you may never get started.

Beginning something can of course be scary and uncomfortable as you step into the unknown.

But you can make it a lot easier to get started and to keep going. Here are three of my favorite tips for that (they are my favorites because they are so effective for me):

• Take one small step forward. Instead of focusing on everything you have to do to reach your goal just focus on taking one small and practical step today. Nothing more. But make it a small step that isn’t just about reading more about what you want. Make it step that matters and pulls you forward. Book an appointment or set up a meeting. Create a budget and see how much and what you can save each month to be able to go on that trip you dream about.
• Or take an even smaller step. If that first step feels too big and you start to procrastinate then come up with an even smaller step you can take. Then take that step.
• Just take care of today. Don’t look too far ahead or you may start to procrastinate. Or your mind may play tricks on you and you become worried or scared. To feel more comfortable while still making progress step by step go smaller and focus on just taking care of today. Nothing more. Tomorrow will come in time. And then you will take care of that today too.

“Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.”
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

“People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it.”
Edith Schaeffer

One of the most common and destructive thought habits but also one that is often celebrated in some form in society is perfectionism.

I have had many battles with it. Many of you have emailed me about it throughout the years.

Perfectionism can be very destructive. It can drain one’s self-esteem and become so overwhelming that it gets you stuck. And so little action is taken and few things are ever finished.

So what can you do about it? How can you replace it and minimize it in your life?

In this article I’ll share three obstacles I have faced, how I have overcome them and how that has helped me to raise my own self-esteem and minimize the perfectionism.

Just going along with the perfectionism and not seeing the full extent of it.

If you just move along in the same old rut and don’t question the perfectionism and what it is doing to you then it will likely stay with you.

And that goes for any negative habit. You have to see it from a broader perspective. You have to see and feel what the real negative impact of it has been and will be to be able to change.

This often happens naturally at some point in people’s lives when they have had enough or a crisis hits and making a change becomes inevitable.

But you can get a broader view and wake-up call today if you like too.

Here’s what you do. Ask yourself:

• How will my life look in 5 years if I continue to stay on the same perfectionist path as now?
• How will life likely become worse for me and maybe even for the people around me?

It may be uncomfortable but try to see the negative consequences as vividly as you can in your mind to kickstart your motivation to get going for that positive change.

Try to not just to see the future as detailed and as vividly as you can but also to find your very personal reason(s) for making the change.

For example, minimizing the perfectionism will help you to improve your self-esteem. That is great. But to really find the heart of your motivation keep looking for a few more minutes for the more personal answer.

That answer could be that by finally getting a handle on the perfectionism your current or future relationship with a partner could become more relaxed and happy. Or maybe you want to make this change to not have to fear that you’ll transfer an unhealthy and self-esteem damaging habit to your daughter or son.

The habit of comparing yourself to other people.

When you compare yourself to someone else then you may feel good for a while. You are in better shape, have a nicer car or house or a better social life than someone else.

But if you do that comparison often then it becomes very hard to not start to compare yourself almost automatically in a negative way too. You may discover that someone at work else has an even cooler car than you. That the neighbor’s new boyfriend is in even better shape than you. That someone else makes more money than you.

And now you don’t feel so good anymore. And since there is always someone that is better than you at most things in the world this becomes a habit that may make you feel inferior no matter how well you do.

What you can do instead is to compare yourself to yourself. It won’t work every time but little by little – if you remind yourself of the benefits of doing this – you can replace the old habit.

When you feel the need to compare yourself and your progress to other people and their progress in some way then remind yourself of how it will hurt your self-esteem in the long run. And then take a minute or two to compare yourself to yourself instead. See how far you have come.

Appreciate the effort you have put in and be inspired by the small and bigger things you have accomplished so far.

An environment of inhuman standards.

Emotions are contagious. So is perfectionism.

So one of the smartest and most effective things you can do is to shape your environment to lessen the influence of perfectionism.

Take small steps and rearrange your world so that it becomes more and more supportive of you and of human standards rather than perfect standards.

Reduce the perfectionism in your world by reducing or cutting out the media sources that every week try to reinforce it in you. Read magazines, blogs, books and watch TV-shows and movies with kinder and more realistic expectations that resonate with you.

Spend less time with nervously perfectionist people. And spend more time with people who are trying to improve themselves and/or are living a good life in a positive, healthy and relaxed way.

Many of you are probably already familiar with Barrie Davenport, life passion coach, author and blogger over at the very popular Live Bold and Bloom. This week she is launching BarrieDavenport.com, a new site that is focused exclusively on uncovering and living your life passion.

Since I know – from all the emails and feedback I get – that finding your passion in life is one very common goal for many of you I decided to mix things up here and took the opportunity to ask Barrie a few questions.

What do you mean when you talk about passion and why do you help people to find it in life?

I like to talk about life passion in the context of what it feels like to be in love.

When you are in love, your entire world feels happier and brighter. You wake up feeling excited and thrilled to be alive. When you are with your beloved, everything else around you fades into the background, and the two of you are focused intently and joyfully on each other. Even life difficulties feel smaller and easier to manage with you are in love.

The feelings are similar when you have a life passion. You experience those same feelings of aliveness and joy. It creates the same aura of general happiness and positivity because it ignites an internal spark of deep interest, creativity, and fulfillment in your life. These feelings provide the energy to deal with all aspects of your life more easily. You gain clarity about everything in your life.

This is especially true when your life passion is attached to a deeper purpose for you. However, unlike the feelings of being in love, the feelings associated with life passion can remain with you for a very long time, maybe forever. Depending on what your passion is and how you make it part of your life, it can be a never-ending source of joy and contentment for you.

I help people find passion in their lives because that is my passion. In my personal search for a life passion, I discovered that my passion is helping others uncover what makes them come alive.

Through my work as a personal coach, my previous career in public relations, and my personal passion search, I learned some very specific strategies for uncovering life passion, dealing with potential internal and external roadblocks, and creating the actions to change your life so you can live your passion.

I know how having a passion has impacted my own life, and I want others to experience that for themselves.

What is the most common mistake people make when trying to find their passion?

That’s a great question, and I’ve actually written an entire free guide on this topic that I offer at BarrieDavenport.com called The Passion Myths: 6 Lies Keeping You from Uncovering Your Life Passion. Most of the mistakes people make related to finding their passion happen before they begin searching for it.

They make false assumptions or have beliefs about themselves and their lives that simply aren’t the truth — or the entire truth. Sometimes they take a few steps toward seeking their passions, only to allow these assumptions and beliefs to get in their way and stop them from doing anything.

Once people address these myths, they can clear the path for themselves and begin their search in earnest. But even during the search, one of the common mistakes is not remaining flexible and staying open to all possibilities.

Sometimes our passion search will take us down one path, but then an idea or situation will occur that potentially leads down another. People sometimes resist exploring this different path because they feel they must “stick to the plan.”

But a passion search can lead in all sorts of wonderful directions. I thought my passion search was leading me to just a coaching career. But it has also led me to being a blogger and creating an online personal development business. I never could have anticipated that when I began my search.

What are your top 3 tips for finding one’s passion?

Tip #1: Begin with a blank slate.

While you are searching, try to remain completely open to all possibilities, even if they seem impossible for your life right now. You are capable of doing and changing far more than you initially assume, so try not to assume anything.

Just enjoy the ride – have fun on the search. You can deal with the practicalities of how to make your passion work for your life once you find your passion. When you uncover it, you’ll feel so energized that you will find a way to make it happen.

Tip #2: Expect fear and doubt.

That is perfectly normal. Fear and doubt will creep in at the beginning of the search and will reappear throughout the search. It’s impossible to go through a process of self-discovery and make life changes without the “what ifs” and concerns about your future.

But fears and doubts are almost always smokescreens that your psyche is throwing up to prevent you from taking action. The more you take action in spite of fear, the more confident you will feel and the less fear will bother you.

Tip #3: Have patience.

There are some people fortunate enough to find their passions quickly. But in most cases, it takes time. It can take a year or more to find your passion and then make the life changes to bring your passion to life. I like to view the process of finding a passion as a passionate endeavor itself. When you accept that you are going to begin this journey, enter the process with enthusiasm and a learner’s mindset.

You will discover interesting and exciting things about yourself. You will get to explore and experiment with different pursuits and creative ideas. If you view your search in this way, it won’t be just a means to an end. It will be a thrilling adventure.

There is often a focus on finding and living your passion through your work. But what if you cannot just quit your job and start your own passion-filled business? What can you do then to still live a more passionate life?

This question is one of the main areas of focus for my work at my new website.

You see many bloggers and courses teaching people how to find work they love. Since work takes up such a huge chunk of our lives, it is wonderful when we are passionate about our careers.

But especially in this economy, many people aren’t able to quit their jobs to start over. It’s just too risky for them now.

But there are many other ways to incorporate your passion into your life – and your work. You can live your passion through an avocation or hobby. You can volunteer in the area of your hobby. You can begin a small side-business in addition to your day job. And you can even find ways to make your current job more in alignment with your passion if you think creatively.

Even living passionately in one small part of your life can dramatically improve your overall outlook and sense of happiness in life.

What are the two most common questions you get about finding and living your passion? And what are the answers for those two questions?

The first question relates back to the topic of work. “I can’t quit my job, so how can I live my passion?” Again, depending on the individual’s particular passion, there are many ways to incorporate your passion into your life other than through work. It takes some clarity, prioritizing, and life balance to make this work.

When you clear out a lot of the extraneous stuff that is stealing your time and energy, you can open loads of space for your passion.

The second question is always a “what if” question. What if I can do it? What if I’m too old? What if I’m wrong about my passion?

We can “what if” ourselves out of taking any actions. The constant “what ifs” stir the pot of fear and prevent us from moving forward.

I encourage my clients and readers to let go of any “what ifs” until they get to the specific details of taking actions to change their lives. Then they can logically and creatively think through potential issues and address them when they actually occur – rather than worrying about them in advance.

What is just one or a few small steps that Positivity Blog readers can take today to start discovering their passion?

I would invite them to read my free guide on the myths surrounding life passion. That’s a great place to start by eliminating some of the preconceived ideas around the topic.

I would encourage them to give themselves the gift of allotting a few hours a week to devote to discovering their passion. It doesn’t happen by randomly wishing for it or doing a quick internet search. It’s a process that involves self-discovery, exploration, testing, and planning. There are plenty of articles and action steps on my site that they can use as a guide.

By giving themselves this gift of time, they are taking the first step on the path and opening the door to a wonderful new life that awaits them at the end of the journey. It will definitely be well worth the time expended for the amazing results down the road.

What are your passions in life?

My primary passion is helping other people come alive with their own passions. I do this through coaching, writing, and teaching courses.

I wake up every day excited to get to my computer and begin writing or Skyping with a coaching client. It all feels like fun to me.

In addition to my work, I also have a passion for travel, biking, reading, and spending time with my three amazing children, my family, and my friends.

And that is it. I hope you found this interview with Barrie as helpful and inspiring as I did. If you want to learn more go check out her site at BarrieDavenport.com

“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”
Chinese proverb

“Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own.”
Bruce Lee

”Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world.”
Miguel de Cervantes

Personal development books, blogs, videos and audio programs can be truly wonderful. Some of them have helped me to change my in life in small and bigger ways.

Over the years I have also a picked up on a few insights that help me to use personal development information in a smarter and more helpful way.

I’d like to share a few of those insights and tips below. I hope you’ll get something good out of them.

Use your own common sense.

It’s easy to be drawn into thinking that gurus or teachers know everything. But a book or blog can’t know or understand exactly what you dream about and all the positive and negative experiences you have been through. No one can know you better than you know yourself.

So it is important to use your own common sense with any advice you are given. Sometimes it may mean that you rely on what someone knows and so you take a leap of faith. Sometimes it may mean that you recognize after you have tried it that something does not live up to the grandiose hype but still has useful things to offer. Sometimes it may mean to dismiss something because it just doesn’t sound right or simply doesn’t work for you even though you have tried it five or ten times.

Friends and family that aren’t that into personal development can be a voice of common sense. They can ground you if you become a little too lost in theories. So listen to them. But of course, use your common sense here too. Don’t listen to voices close to you that are always negative about just about everything.

Be the highest authority in your own life. Be your own guru.

Stay with it longer than you may have hoped for.

I think it took me four tries to establish a workout routine that stuck. It is common to have to start things over a few times before they really stick.

So things may take longer than you hoped for. Life is most often messier than the plan you had. Don’t let that stop you. Be patient, learn from your mistakes and keep moving.

If something doesn’t work dust yourself off and try something else.

Some things may work well for me to keep in shape or to keep procrastination at bay. But it may not work as well or very well at all for you. We are all different and there is seldom one solution that fits all.

I recommend using the advice from Bruce Lee at the start of this article and finding what works and fits you the best. Find just one, two or three tips that really work for you to avoid procrastination or to stay motivated. And then you can let go of the other stuff that you have tried.

Do to understand. Spend more time on using what you have learned by taking small steps forward.

Don’t hang around on blogs or online forums all day. Don’t get stuck in just reading more and more books about a topic.

Use most of the free time you have for experiences, no matter how small they are. Because you gain experience, confidence in yourself and real results by doing things. Not by overreading, overthinking things or having endless theoretical discussions.

Focus on spending 20% of the time you have for personal development on learning through books and blogs.

And then use 80% of your personal development time on taking small steps forward, on changing small and bigger habits step by step over days, weeks and months.

Reinforce what you want to be doing.

Maybe it’s just me but I sometimes have a tendency to forget what I want to do. It easily gets lost between old habits and the tasks of everyday life. This has been most common when I have changed thoughts habits such as a more optimistic mindset for example.

So I use written reminders – notes on the fridge, in my smart phone or on my bedside table – to reinforce what I am striving for and what change I am working on right now. If I don’t use such reminders then I tend to slip back into old thought patterns more often.

“Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.”
Jim Rohn

Do you often get distracted online?

Do you struggle with getting the most important things done each workday because you get stuck on Twitter or in your inbox?

Are you split between your online life and your real life at the same time as you check your Facebook while trying to have a conversation?

The internet allows us to connect with people all over the world, to learn about just about anything and check out an endless amount of cute cat photos.

But is can also become a huge time-and-attention-thief. A source of distraction that add a lot of stress too as you get behind on work or miss out on being fully there with the people around you.

So what can you do about it? Here are 4 steps that help me.

1. Shut off your notifications and make yourself unavailable as much as you can.

To be able to fully focus on your most important tasks:

• Shut off notifications in your email client and other such programs.
• Shut down instant messaging programs.

Then do your work with less stress, interruptions and ways to procrastinate.

2. Create a small and time-limited checking ritual at the end of your workday.

A less reactive way to handle email etc. – compared to always checking when you get a notification or being online in your instant messaging clients all the time – is to check and use such things at a certain time during your workday.

I recommend stringing all your checks one after another into one small ritual. And to perhaps do your instant messaging during that time-period too.

By bunching your email processing and social media checking and only setting off for example 20 minutes for email and 5 minutes for Facebook each day you stay focused instead of drifting off and spending too much of your attention and energy on those things.

I do my checking ritual at the end of my workday because then my energy levels are relatively low and I know I have used my peak hours earlier in the day to put dents into the most important things (usually writing and creating posts, newsletters and courses).

If you can’t wait until the end of the day wait for just an hour. You can probably postpone the checking for one hour in the morning without big consequences. Then, if possible, try the following:

After a day or two, try to move the checking further down the day. Maybe to after lunch. Or perhaps even, as I have, to the end of the workday.

The further you can move the checking in your workday, the less of a priority it will feel like as you fill the first hour(s) of your day with what is actually the most important stuff. This will reduce the impulse checking that often becomes worse if you start your day with the email etc.

3. Limit your access to your smart phone and computer.

I shut off my work computer at seven o clock in the evening at the latest – but usually earlier that that – and it stays off until the next morning.

This helps me to decrease stress and to stick to my work schedule for about 95% of the time.

My smart phone can not only become a distraction while I work but also when I am spending quality time with the people in my life.

I have learned to handle this by setting up small obstacles to using the phone. When I sleep it is not in the bedroom with me but in drawer beneath the desk in my home office.

When I work during the day or hang out at home during the evening I keep the phone in small wooden box with a lid on as far away from me as possible in my office. If I can’t see it or reach it easily then use it a whole lot less.

By putting up small obstacles like these I make sure that the phone is not by my side all the time and the procrastination by phone has dropped in huge way. And if someone calls or sends me a text message I will still hear it most of the time.

So if you can, prevent the easy access and what that tends to result in and put the phone somewhere where you can’t see it or where you have to get up and take a whole bunch of steps to get it.

4. Pause when you feel the urge to check and just be still.

When you feel the urge to escape by browsing Reddit, by checking your Facebook or by just quickly popping in to see if there are any new emails in your inbox then pause. Sit still on your chair and do nothing.

The urge and impulse will most often not stay for long. So if you just stay still and don’t act on it for a few seconds or a minute or two it will pass.