Today I would like to simply and quickly share one of my favorite thoughts on self-improvement.
This short thought comes from Nathaniel Branden’s book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and it simply goes like this:
“No one is coming”.
Short. But it has been a powerful and sobering reminder for me.
Because yes, you can look for the next big thing that will fix you.
Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people to help you.
And yes, some articles, books, products or people will give you support and insights that resonate deeply with you and that you can put into practice.
But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it.
Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible.
You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your social life. Or finances. Or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel better about yourself. You can look for people that will “fix you”.
You can do this for the rest of your life if you like. It won’t change much.
Whatever has to be done, it’s you who have to take responsibility and do it.
Yeah, things might always not go your way. You’ll fall and stumble and you will probably have bad luck from time to time.
But you still have to focus on yourself and on doing what you can do with what you have in whatever situation that may arise in your world.
Henrik Edberg is the creator of the Positivity Blog and has written weekly articles here since 2006. He has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Gothenburg and has been featured on Lifehacker, HuffPost and Paulo Coelho’s blog.
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Often times I would latch on to people thinking they would take care of me. I especially did this at work. I’ve noticed I haven’t needed this since I learned leadership. I don’t depend on that one person anymore.
It used to be terrible when they left. With leadership I don’t feel this terrible feeling of being all alone.
Yes, very helpful. I know many people who get stuck and simply blame others-terminal victims. I try my hardest not to fall into this pit :)
thank you and I am very much enjoying all of your blogs, they have bettered my life!
I really liked this.
And I completely agree, you have to take control of your life and take action now.
Stop waiting and looking for the right opportunity at the right moment.
Great stuff!
A good article about making life better,and improve self esteem
hi henrik,
as usual, i find the article worth reading and more worth for applications. the unavoidable hardest fact of life you have pointed out in the article…you are responsible whatsoever you do…you become in life is your doing, you are responsible. however henrik, one thing i wish to mention here is that the people have to gather the tips from here and there, follow some guidance from the learned, experienced person.. ..doing such thing and accepting others views too is not wrong doing, i feel.
your tips, guidance at this stage , i find, is at its place worth following. keeping an eye for next heavyweight article.
nirmal.
Henrik, we can always take responsibility for our actions but what if we are not tutored early in life or dont realise that we are being fooled by others for no reason of ours except our innocent selves; i’m sure everyone gets angry/livid by unscrupulous people in our lives. We need to blame them and get on after a showdown. All is not so straight forward in life.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot, but isn’t it too simple?
Recently I’ve been thinking more and more how ‘circumstances’, ‘personality’ and stuff have a big impact on life, on your life.
So yes, you’re right. But I think it’s too simple.
Thanks for sharing this motivating tip Henrik. Indeed, no one is coming to save us from failure, to rescue us from the imminent defeat. In the final analysis, what will matter are our own efforts. I know that sometimes it is difficult to understand this reality. The life of has become extremely complex and demanding. As a result it has become really difficult to keep our cool and remain focused. I myself feel like throwing the towel when confronted with a momentary failure.
Your advice is very timely. I should remember it. No one is coming.
I am really getting benifit from your blog. It is giving me a new life.
Thank you for sharing us such helpful articles.
Great post Henrik and the message from it is just so true! I think: truly understanding this concept + having the courage of your convictions = being free and enabled to follow your own path. Keep posting!
Hi Henrik!
I’m really impressed by your work and not only that, I’m inspired as well. You pointed out what adulthood and responsability really means and reminded me to act more my age. :) Thank you for that. If I would have read this book I don’t think my focus would’ve been on No one is coming …
Thanks for sharing :)
Thank you for reading Ryan! I am glad you found the post helpful and I agree, it is a both scary and freeing thought.
I have been subscribing to your emails for quite a few years now and when I am feeling lost, you always manage to send something that REALLY helps. This really does. Thank you.