How to Chill Out: 3 Effective Habits

One very helpful life skill is to be able to chill out.

To be calm in negative situations and not overreact about all kinds of things. Or invent big, big problems in your mind – or create them in your world as you drag other people in through arguments – by making mountains out of molehills.

By being able to chill out when needed to you will:

  • Have a lot less stress, worry and pointless conflicts with other people.
  • Waste less of your time, energy and thoughts on things that aren't really that useful.
  • Attract what you are. To be able to draw people who are more relaxed and positive about life into your life then you have to be that person yourself. People like to hang out with people who are similar to them (because it’s comfortable, because it brings more fun and success, because people have 24 hours in a day and so choices need to be made).
    Being someone that can be cool and relaxed about things is a positive and attractive social quality for any kind of relationship.

So how do you do it?

Well, here are three good habits that help me to chill out instead of overreacting and becoming angry, frustrated, fearful or worried about small and medium-sized stuff – and oftentimes even the big issues – in life.

Ask yourself if this even really matters.

By asking yourself the wrong questions you can make any little thing into a huge problem. By asking yourself better questions you can see things from a more helpful perspective.

  • Who cares? Very simple. Asking yourself this makes you realize that no, this isn't a big deal to fuss or worry about.
  • Will this matter 5 years from now? Or even 5 weeks from now? One of my absolute favorite question combos. It is very useful in many situations and is often all I need to change my mood and mind. If you ask yourself these questions you will discover that if you put something into a more healthy perspective then few things matter that much.

Get a life.

If you find yourself sitting around too much and not having enough to do then it’s very easy to get stuck in negative thought loops and go into a downward spiral. Simply by filling life with more fun activities and people I have found that I have become a lot more relaxed and less prone to overreacting about the little things.

I have found that when you have good and exciting things going on then you don’t magnify small things to create drama in your life. Because you have very little time to do so and you have more important and fun things to do so issues tend to retain their correct size rather than growing into mountains.

So spend less time analyzing life and more time living and exploring it in whatever way you’d like. By doing that you are also often confronted with having to expand your comfort zone and perhaps face a fear. This leads to better self-confidence and less fretting about if you can handle things that may come up.

What would someone else do?

This is a good way to find a new, more useful and sometimes more playful perspective. You simply ask yourself what someone else would do in your situation.

Maybe you ask yourself:

  • What would Winnie the Pooh do?
  • What would Jason Bourne do?
  • What would mom or dad do?
  • What would [insert name of your calm and wise friend] do?

The point is to play around and find a new perspective and drag yourself out of your current negative, stressed and confused headspace and see things in another light.

Just doing that can help you to calm down, realize that this isn't a huge deal and help you to think a bit outside of your own box and find a solution that you can apply.

Image by Andrés Nieto Porras (license).

Free Exclusive Happiness Tips

Join the 80,000 people that subscribe to the Positivity Newsletter and you’ll get practical tips on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and more each week.

You’ll also get these three guides for free:

  • 21 Things I Wish They Had Taught Me in School.
  • 7 Steps to Stop Being So Lazy.
  • 10 Things You Can Do When Life Sucks.

100% privacy and no spam. You can unsubscribe anytime.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Karen

    As always, lovely advice that made me think while making me smile. Thank you, Henrik!

    • Lynne

      Thanks for your wise words. I used to think asking myself: what would someone else do? constituted not being true to myself. Definitely not! It allows a level of objectivity that is soooo beneficial.

  • Lisa

    This came in perfect timing, so to speak… From a no time kind of gal-actic light friend. Love Lisa .. Thank you…

  • Rizwan

    You know what? I change now. I keep busy and control my thoughts. I try to master this skill. Cheers!

  • This is very good. Printing this to send to my granddaughter.

  • I think getting a life is important. It is easy to sit and stew in things if you don’t have anything going on. There are many ways to do it like through

    I also like asking myself on what would others do. I ask what would Ben Franklin do in such a situation.

    Getting rid of unneeded stress is so important. It is so easy to worry about such little things. When I let go of those stresses my life greatly improved.

    Thanks Henrik.

  • Thanks for sharing! Always look forward to your articles. Always good to be reminded that stress is a stealer and if not checked and dealt with a killer.
    My remedies are dancing to a song that speaks to me even when my spirit is low. It turns up my attitude and helps me put things in perspective and add a jolt of joy to my life.
    Meditating and exercising are additional remedies that work.

    • nail on the head there. music always makes me happy, the right music

  • Azar Aftimos

    Thank you very much for the useful tips.

  • Christina

    Good article, I noticed when all my friends graduated from uni and I was left behind I didn’t have much to do and I started over thinking everything that happens. Thanks for the article

  • It’s good to call yourself,chill ,man chill,heavens aren’t going to fall ,even if you worry more than others.

  • Anonymous

    I found this article very useful.

  • Totally agree man! I have been practicing the same techniques for quite a while now. My social circle has expanded + health benefits are great too! Too often we stress over the things that don’t even matter.

  • Shashibhushan

    It’s nice article. Sharing it widely would definitely help more people.

  • name

    the article makes me to ” think a bit outside of my own box “, thanks

  • selamawit

    Thank you!
    These helpful tips seems to be meant for me.