“No matter where you go – there you are.”
Confucius
“One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention.”
Jim Rohn
The weekend is almost here again.
And soon, all over the world, people will make a very common mistake and get lost in a destructive habit.
They will get lost in the grey zone. They will go into a weekend that they want to spend with a good book and the family, maybe with friends down at the pub or with going out for a hike or a picnic in the sunshine.
And then they will get lost in thoughts about work.
And so the stress will start to build. The motivation and energy will start to get sucked out. The attention will wander. There is no real relaxation and recharging happening.
And what happens on Monday if you cultivate this habit? Well, it is quite likely that you will at some point start to think and worry about your home life or your relationship with your child, partner or a friend.
No matter when you slip back into the grey zone you are distracted and wasting energy. And being in the grey zone will over time spill over and not only have an effect on your own stress levels and worries.
Now, it is not always easy to avoid thinking like this.
But I have found a couple of strategies that helps me to greatly reduce this issue during my own weekends.
1. Make a firm decision to not even do 5 minutes of work this weekend.
If possible don’t check your email or use your work phone at all.
If not, don’t check your email more than necessary (I do it just once a weekend and reply only to critical emails).
And keep your work phone shut off and check it only once a day or once per weekend.
If you take a minute to think about it instead of just reacting then you likely see that almost everything can wait until Monday without the world collapsing.
2. Look at the cost of getting lost in the grey zone.
When you start thinking about work say STOP! in your mind and then remind yourself of the destructive consequences.
Remind yourself that thinking about work during the weekend will probably not help you in the long run.
Instead it will lead to more stress and worries, you’ll miss important moments and quality time with your family or friends because you are somewhere else in your mind and you’ll reinforce negative habits such as overthinking.
And all of that will probably lead to unhappy times for you, your work and the people close to you.
3. Fill your weekend with activities you love doing.
When time just flies and you are full immersed in doing something then you are a lot less likely to drift off in your mind.
So fill your weekend with things you love doing, no matter if it is intensive stuff like working out or going on a trip or more relaxed things like hanging out with friends at the pub our just lazying around watching movies on the couch.
Final thoughts
In my experience, the most effective thing you can do to replace the grey zone with something better is to first remind yourself how destructive it will be not only for you and your health. But for the quality of your work and for your most important relationships too.
And then to step by small step unlearn thinking with no boundaries at all and to replace it with setting limits for when you think about and focus on different things in your life.
It can sometimes be difficult to try to learn to think about things in a fully focused way like this. You’ll most likely fall back into the grey zone.
That’s OK. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just nudge yourself back on the more helpful track again.
And continue to create healthier thought habits that both improve your home life and your work life.
Henrik Edberg is the creator of the Positivity Blog and has written weekly articles here since 2006. He has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Gothenburg and has been featured on Lifehacker, HuffPost and Paulo Coelho’s blog.
Comments on this entry are closed.
Most of the topics are very useful in today’s scenario..
Glad you found it helpful, Vipul!
I like it
Thank you!
Great post, Henrik – I learnt this lesson the hard way – there was a time back when i was starting as a freelancer when i ended up working 60+ hours per week (including weekends). And it was totally not why i went into freelancing – i wanted to work less.
Since then, if i ever feel tempted to check my work mail over the weekend, i remind myself that there’s absolutely nothing in my work mail that couldn;t and wouldn’t wait until Monday… if there is, i bet someone else could do it as well, if it is THAT important.
Thanks for the reminder! And enjoy an email-free weekend ;-)
Thanks for sharing your experience with this, Diana! And I did. :)
So enjoy reading your newsletter and appreciate your blog’s content. Being self employed it’s easy to get caught up in all that needs to get done. Now that we have our business open on saturdays looking at how to take two days in a row off. It’s important, I know from experience not to over work that can lead to burn out. Thanks again.
Yes, this can easily become an issue, especially if you are self-employed. Glad to hear that you are aware of this issue so you work smartly and don’t burn out.
thanks very much for this very helpful article. I have the most wandering mind , my children say I suffer ADD . This is the most positive way it has been explained to me and I think I have the why and now the motivation to ”unlearn thinking with no boundaries” . You have put your finger on it, hit the nail on the head, so now maybe I can stop the bleed.thanks again.
That is good to hear, I’m glad to be of help, Olga!
This is a really great reminder to keep harmony in life by prioritizing relaxation and fun. They are just as important as productivity and actually forms of being productive in their own right. Thank you for this! I’m enjoying my weekend starting tomorrow.
Thank you for the kind words, Ivy! I hope you had a good weekend!
How did you know? Every blog of yours relates directly to my life. This one especially. I tend to over commit at the expense of my family and friends. Thank you for the tips. This keeping positive thing is really getting me out if my shell and improving my relationships with others. Have an awesome weekend?
I’m very glad to hear that the blog is helping you out, Donna!
Huh … This article isn’t a nice lecture for those of us who work on weekends too. But I get your point. Keep your worries about work at the workplace. The thing is that sometimes I enjoy talking about my day at work (because it was a good day), and the person who listens, even if it’s my boyfriend or family, do encourage me to do that. They are acctually a big help, when I’m having a really bad and exhausting day, they keep remainding me about the good stuff at work that happen. That.s a talk that usually last about 10 to 20 minutes max, and after that I kinda feel recovered and start to enjoy being at home with those close to me . I don’t forget about work, but my worries aren’t “screaming” at me after someone listens, they “don’t surprise and attack me” when I’m enjoying my time.
Thank you for sharing your experience and your excellent tip, Andreea!
This article is right on point. I find myself thinking about work on the weekend n its a waste of precious time. Its ok to allow yourself happiness. Give yourself permission to let go of worries just for a weekend and be happy.
I’m glad you liked it, thank you for reading, Virginia! It sounds like you have helpful outlook.
Hi
Amazing to know that you have such a positive attitude and message for people out there. People need to be more happy and positive in this modern era, families and friendships must be cherished and nurtured.
Thanks and looking forward to more positive messages, when can we expect the next one??
Thank you for the kind words, there will be a new post later on this week.
hi,
thanks. its interesting that our common problems are thought in depth and solution is provided. many wont even think these are really big problems but ulti mately ruined by them only.
reading is one important habbit which is proven to be a good stress buster. once u have good reading habbit you will also elvate yourself in education as well as profession.i feel most of the youger generations are good readers. request all parents to think in this regard.
I worked this weekend. But I did a different kind of work. Landscaping. I’m improving my yard. The nice thing about home improvement is that you can do it at your own pace and it adds value to your home. I didn’t think about my teaching job at all.
This is so important! I’m so much happier and healthier since I gave up working evenings and weekends. First, I wrecked my health by overworking though. So I fully understand the full importance of your words. We need to really get this point to avert future problems!
Great article and love the term “grey zone”. I remember once reading a speech from the President / CEO of a company to his employees indicating that if something happens to you tomorrow and you’re no longer here, the company will figure it out and be OK, your family will not. We’re so much more important to our families and friends than we are to our job, but we seem to always put work first.
Great article and reminder. I also try to not check emails during the weekend and only even consider responding if it’s very urgent.
Thanks for the reminder,
Zachary