“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”
Many people have heroes in their lives. Heroes can be helpful to get inspiration and they can provide you with valuable information if they have already walked the path you are on.
But there are also a few downsides with having heroes. Or at least with putting them on too high of a pedestal. Something I think is pretty common and can be helpful at first. But, as you move forward it can become an obstacle for you.
Here are four reasons to be careful with your heroes.
1. They might not live up to your image of them.
It can be very hard to really see a person. This is probably especially true with someone you hold up as a hero. But people aren't an idealized images in your head. No one is Superman or Wonder Woman.
This can lead to disappointment. You may feel betrayed. Your unreal expectations might damage that relationship, no matter what kind of relationship it is. You may even abandon people when they don't act as you wanted them to. When they don't live to the image in your head.
I think it's important to remember that we are all human and prone to make mistakes. Holding people to unreasonable standards will only create more unnecessary conflicts in your world and negativity within you.
2. It can make you feel like you are not worthy.
When you start to make myths out of people – even though they may have produced extraordinary results – you run the risk of becoming disconnected from them. You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did because they are so very different.
You won't feel worthy to do so. And so you'll hinder or self-sabotage to keep yourself in line with your own expectations and self-image. Understanding that everyone is human can open you up to your own potential.
3. It can make it harder to connect to people.
When you have some heroes you are likely to think more about the opposite too. And place people into neat and tidy folders. You may create villain-like images of people in your world.
But in truth, things can be kinda messy. Putting someone on a pedestal or making a villain out of them create barriers in your head and life. It may give you a sense of being right. But it can hold you back from positive experiences too.
Openness is more fun than judgement.
4. You may develop tunnel vision.
If you get too attached to one hero, you may believe all s/he says. Everyone has flaws and blindspots though. What your hero tells you might not be the best fit for you, even though it may be for him/her. So take inspiration and knowledge from many sources and people. Go out and experiment and see what you like.
I'm not saying that any of this is easy. But to keep these pointers in mind, remembering to relax and that people are mostly just people can be very useful.