“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.”
Madame Marie du Deffand
“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”
Earl Nightingale
Maybe the most common issue people have with personal development and making a positive change is that it stays a daydream. That they get excited and inspired.
But then as those positive emotions fade nothing really happens.
Life continues as usual. Your health, finances or your relationship with yourself stays the same.
It’s very frustrating. I know.
I used to read about personal development in pretty much all important areas of life. But it probably took me months or years to get going with making any of those positive changes.
Why?
It was uncomfortable. Making the changes felt so big that is was easier to just kept dreaming about it as frustration built up within.
So what can you do if you get stuck in daydreams? The best solution I’ve found for starting to make your dreams into reality is to go smaller.
Because grand changes and huge ambitions sound so inspiring and motivating. But they’re also scary.
So the most important step to get started and to keep going, especially when you are new to personal development, is to remove as much pressure and expectations as you can.
That’s at least what has worked and still works best for me. And in this article I’ll share how to do that in two simple ways.
1. Go for just taking a small step.
I have mentioned this many times. With good reason.
It’s one of the most effective ways to reduce the pressure and the expectations you may put on yourself and to start moving out of standing still or procrastination.
Now, taking just one small step and focusing on that is for instance a great way to become productive at school or at work.
But it can be used in just about any area in life. If you want to become:
- Kinder and improve your relationships then just take one small step by giving someone a genuine compliment.
- A better listener then have just one conversation today where you focus as much effort as you can on learning more about the person in front of you. And truly be there as best as you can and nowhere else in your mind.
- Someone with a less cluttered home then start by taking 5 minutes to unclutter one shelf in your bookcase or a drawer in your desk.
If you like, then tomorrow you can take the same small action and just focus on that.
If you want to take a first step and get started with something then do it today. Someday so easily becomes never or at least a day several months or years into the future. Don’t make that mistake.
And if the first small step you come up with still seems too big to take then think of an even smaller step. Be kind to yourself in this way and make the start as easy on yourself as you can.
2. Go for just taking care of today.
When you feel overwhelmed, tired and just want to quit or relapse into your old and more negative habits then sit down for a minute.
Breathe.
Then narrow your focus greatly. Don’t look forward because then you’ll see all the things you have to do to reach your goal or to create a new habit.
Instead, go smaller and focus on just taking care of today.
Nothing more. Tomorrow will come in time. And then you will take care of that today too.
I highly recommend keeping this narrow focus a daily thing.
Sure, you may have to do some planning. Do that early in the week or day. Then shrink your focus again to make your work and life lighter and more effortless.
Focus on just the small steps and on today and soon you will have traveled quite a distance.
Henrik Edberg is the creator of the Positivity Blog and has written weekly articles here since 2006. He has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Gothenburg and has been featured on Lifehacker, HuffPost and Paulo Coelho’s blog.
Comments on this entry are closed.
Henrik, Thank you for these wonderful words. You brighten my day with your suggestions, your humanity, your love.
Love you, too!
This is a very inspiring reading for today. Daydreaming of when my life, bad habits, financial pressure and marital issues most definitely have me daydreaming of a better day and time but being too anxious, not patient enough to go through the process of one day at a time causing relapses, and bad decisions. Thank you for the article about stop daydreaming and live for the moment and take little steps each day to improve my place in life.
Great advice, one small step and one small day at a time.
Wonderful article! It’s easy to dream of large achievements that we want but change can be very difficult. Going from point A to point M doesn’t happen all at once. We need to acknowledge each step we take toward a goal and congratulate ourselves from inside. I know from experience it’s not easy to notice small steps I take but I am trying to appreciate those small steps.
It is great to be reminded that doing something is better than doing nothing. I have been trying to keep that in mind in my life and I have been focusing on little things. It is amazing how far I have come.
I completely agree, recently I started to wake up and write down 3 things I needed to get done that day in order to avoid procrastination and it has really helped. It’s hard to completely change ur life in one day although most people have that approach.
I love it. I feel like it was really meant for me.. Thanks Henrik..
You are very realistic in the way you handle you coaching, keep up with the same spirit.you are warrior
Thank you for breaking that down
for me. I’ve always been a procrastinator, I’ll look at a pile of clean laundry, and be like ,”I’ll never that put away. Now I’m working on getting it put away literally one piece at a time.
Thanks Again, Becky
thanks…ur advice came in just the time i needed it the most…i can focus on my studies better rather dan dreaming of getting good marks and being happy without reading now…i day dream a lot and whole day pass in dat..i hate myself for that
Thanks for sharing
Sucha great post! Making those steps to make change and take it from day dream to reality is so hard! But with consciousness and help from community’s (like this blog) make all the difference!
Great article as ever!!
Thanks.
Henrick, you are a delight! You say things so simply and gently. It make people eager to follow your advice. Thank you Ronda
I need to take everything one step at a time. My problem is that I make my life more complicated than it has to be. I have to work on making my life easier. I need to be taking smaller steps, not big steps in life. Thank you for your advice. It has helped me out tremendously. Great post.