Today I would like to simply and quickly share one of my favorite thoughts on self-improvement.
This short thought comes from Nathaniel Branden’s book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and it simply goes like this:
“No one is coming”.
Short. But it has been a powerful and sobering reminder for me.
Because yes, you can look for the next big thing that will fix you.
Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people to help you.
And yes, some articles, books, products or people will give you support and insights that resonate deeply with you and that you can put into practice.
But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it.
Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible.
You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your social life. Or finances. Or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel better about yourself. You can look for people that will “fix you”.
You can do this for the rest of your life if you like. It won’t change much.
Whatever has to be done, it’s you who have to take responsibility and do it.
Yeah, things might always not go your way. You’ll fall and stumble and you will probably have bad luck from time to time.
But you still have to focus on yourself and on doing what you can do with what you have in whatever situation that may arise in your world.
Henrik Edberg is the creator of the Positivity Blog and has written weekly articles here since 2006. He has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Gothenburg and has been featured on Lifehacker, HuffPost and Paulo Coelho’s blog.
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But then again, Nathaniel Branden was Ayn Rand’s lover. Of course no one was coming.
That’s an interesting point, thank you for adding it.
A much-needed ‘kick-in-the-pants’!
All my whinging, neediness & deflecting didn’t change the fact that it’s all down to ME to conjure up the courage required to create ‘for myself ‘ an intersting life I’ll be able to look back on. I’m learning how, daily.
Thanks for your useful articles.
Glad to hear that, Shirleen! Thank you for the support and I hope my articles will continue to be useful for you.
Hi Henrik,
I love your stuff! I’m coming to you from the middle of the USA, Kansas City, MO (Gooo 9-0 Chiefs! :) I’ve been a subscriber since taking your Self-Esteem course and enjoy getting your weekly emails. Thank you for this week’s reminder that our searching is good, but we must still take action! Like when we notice distorted thoughts encroaching in our minds, we take steps to change our mindset. Things like reading uplifting texts, talking with friends who will encourage us and just moving help turn our attention to more realistic and productive states of mind.
Thanks for what you do!
Joe
Hey Joe!
Good to hear that you like the emails and the course! And you got it, searching is indeed good but if we get stuck in just doing that and take no action then nothing will really change in that big and positive way we may wish for.
Beautifully said, Henrik. Thank you.
You’re very welcome, Teri!
It’s true that to be positive, better, or happy is a personal decision! However, it needs articles reading, experience sharing and friends’ support to be fulfilling! Thank you for sharing !
Thank you for reading and for your kind words, Amany!
I sure did enjoy your blog [ no one is coming] i have a friend that feel’s this way most of the time , there nothen i can say to make her feel better , im sending her this .
Thank you so much
Beryle in Tennessee
Thank you, Beryle! Hope she will find it helpful too!
Thanks Henrik! I am a grad student who often needs inspiration. My work is going well– but it is not without challenges. I am reminded often that I must be the one to initiate my own progress. This posting is very helpful!
enjoy the day,
You have brought some sunshine to my day!
Barbara
That is awesome to hear, Barbara. And you have brought some sunshine to my day too by posting your kind and positive comment! :)
It’s very helpful!
Thank you!
Hi Henrik, First, thank you for writing and sharing your blog. Now I am going to unsubscribe. I have been thinking this for awhile now, and reading”No one is Coming” helped me to know it is what I need to do for now. So, while i have enjoyed and appreciate your writing, I need to stop reading and DO some things, including non-doing. I think you will understand.
With warm regards,
Corinna
I understand fully and wish you the very best with your hopes, goals and dreams, Corinna!
Great post, Henrik – motivational indeed :-)
I totally agree it is each and every one of us who should take charge of their own life. It is I who am responsible for my life and nobody else. I think most (if not all) people know that – though not all are admitting it.
What i think many people don’t realize is that whatever we want our life to be, that is what our life could be. It’s not only about taking responsibility – it’s more about making our life what we want it to be!
Look what you’ve done now – got me all excited about life :-D
That is awesome to hear, I am very glad that the post had that effect on you, Diana!
I thought this was great. I told my husband about it and it motivated him to sign up for your e-mail updates. It is such a true statement and such a powerful reminder that we are the only ones who have the power to create change . When I find myself indulging in some self pity or negative thinking (or wishing to blame others), I now tell myself “no one is coming”. And rather than feel alone or despair, it is actually empowering! Thank you for the positive thoughts!!
I sometimes do the same thing when I get stuck in negative thinking and it has the same empowering effect for me too. Glad you liked the post, Darlene, and hope your husband will find the email updates helpful!
This is inspiring. Thank you for sharing. Feels like you wrote it for me.
I am glad you feel that way!
This is awesome, let’s all quit being victims and take responsility for our own actions
I agree with the core thought of personal responsibility, but I think it’s written in a way that doesn’t really inspire enthusiasm. The truth is that we are all interdependent, so if you think that you’ve made it all by yourself, then you’re giving your ego too much credit and the universe too little. The path starts with taking responsibility, but opportunities, guides, and mentors often present themselves in the form of other people, because we attract what we are. Or look at it like this: Maybe no one is coming, but you can be the someone for another person.
Socratezonline, this is a wonderful interpretation. And you are absolutely right, we all feed each other. We would never get anywhere without opportunities and mentors that the universe sends to us.
That was a very powerful article. You are right, no one is coming – no matter how many books we read, how many programmes we watch – if we don’t actually do something about it for ourselves no-one else will do it for us. Thank you for sharing.