84 Funny February Quotes for a Happy and Hilarious Month

February has begun.

It’s a short month but with the cold days, grey skies and a mix of snow and rain it can still feel long.

So to brighten things up if you’ve got that just-waiting-for-spring feeling I’d like to share 84 of the most uplifting, positive and funny February quotes.

Ones that will make you laugh, that you can send to your love on Valentine’s Day and that will make the end of winter a bit lighter and less stressful.

I hope you’ll find something here to make this a fun and happy month.

Funny February Quotes for a Happy Winter Month

“Why does February feel like one big Tuesday?”
– Todd Stocker

“February’s greatest gift is an extra day every four years to procrastinate.”
– Sam Williams

“These are some cold and bittersweet days, perfect for chocolate therapy.”
– Sandra Shea

“February, the month of love? No wonder it’s the shortest one in the calendar.”
– Dinesh Kumar Biran

“February is the shortest month, so if you’re having a miserable month, try to schedule it for February.”
– Lemony Snicket

“Without Valentine’s Day, February would be… well, January.”
– Jim Gaffigan

“February is the month when even my cats start having an existential crisis.”
– Alice Jones

“Even though February was the shortest month of the year, sometimes it seemed like the longest.”
– J.D. Robb

“February: The month of love… or chocolate consumption, either works.”
– Fay Collins

“The only bubble in the flat champagne of February is Valentine’s Day.”
– Tom Robbins

“When God was making the months, I think February was a mistake, like a burp.”
– Shannon Wiersbitzky

“February, when the days of winter seem endless and no amount of wistful recollecting can bring back any air of summer.”
– Shirley Jackson

“Violets are God’s apology for February.”
– Barbara Johnson

Short Funny February Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

“Winter is nature’s way of saying, ‘Up yours.'”
– Robert Byrne

“It was so cold I almost got married.”
– Shelley Winters

“Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.”
– Bill Watterson

“There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.”
– Billy Connolly

“You can’t get too much winter in the winter.”
– Robert Frost

“February makes a bridge and March breaks it.”
– Georges Hebert

“February is the border between winter and spring.”
– Terri Guillemets

“February is short and very sweet.”
– Charmaine J. Forde

“Winter is not a season, it’s an occupation.”
– Sinclair Lewis

“February days are a marketing gimmick; love happens every day.”
– Randeep Hooda

“February is merely as long as is needed to pass the time until March.”
– J.R. Stockton

“February’s pleasures are like a spark in the ashes, gone before you can say lovely.”
– Bob Simmons

“There are only two seasons – winter and Baseball.”
– Bill Veeck

“February: winter’s last bittersweet farewell song.”
– Joy Stevens

Funny February Quotes About Love

“Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find your glasses cannot be ignored.”
– Cameron Esposito

“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.”
– Will Ferrell

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
– Agatha Christie

“I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours, I watched whatever I wanted on TV.”
– Tracy Smith

“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.”
– George Burns

“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
– Michael Scott (from the TV-show The Office)

“You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.”
– Henny Youngman

“The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.”
– Dolly Parton

“It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.”
– Lucille Ball

“Love is being stupid together.”
– Paul Valery

“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.”
– Richard Jeni

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
– Rita Rudner

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
– Joan Crawford

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
– Socrates

“I understood Valentine’s Day as a concept. The naked baby shoots you with an arrow, and you fall in love.”
– Trevor Noah

“Love is sharing your popcorn.”
– Charles Schulz

“Oh here’s an idea: let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all.”
– Jimmy Fallon

“If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.”
– Fran Lebowitz

Hilarious February Quotes for This End of Winter Month

“The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter.”
– Dave Barry

“They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?”
– Terry Pratchett

“The light made the snowballs look yellow. Or at least I hoped that was the cause.”
– Gary D. Schmidt

“Minneapolis has two seasons: Road Removal and Snow Repair.”
– Steven Brust

“When I was young, I loved summer and hated winter. When I got older I loved winter and hated summer. Now that I’m even older, and wiser, I hate both summer and winter.”
– Jarod Kintz

“It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.”
– Mickey Rivers

“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”
– Carl Reiner

“One of the very best reasons for having children is to be reminded of the incomparable joys of a snow day.”
– Susan Orlean

“I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.”
– Bill Watterson

“I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime.”
– Will Rogers

“The smallest snowstorm on record took place an hour ago in my back yard. It was approximately two flakes. I waited for more to fall, but that was it.”
– Richard Brautigan

“There’s no such thing as bad weather, just soft people.”
– Bill Bowerman

“A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.”
– Markus Zusak

“It snowed last year too: I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.”
– Dylan Thomas

Beautiful and Funny February Quotes for Your Letter Board and Instagram

“If love is the answer, then could you rephrase the question?”
– Lily Tomlin

“In February there is everything to hope for and nothing to regret.”
– Patience Strong

“In the coldest February, as in every other month in every other year, the best thing to hold on to in this world is each other.”
– Linda Ellerbee

“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”
– Albert Einstein

“Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.”
– Lewis Black

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”
– Jules Renard

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
– Albert Camus

“If January is the month of change, February is the month of lasting change. January is for dreamers… February is for doers.”
– Marc Parent

“People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy.”
– Anton Chekhov

“Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories.”
– Deborah Kerr

“February is the uncertain month, neither black nor white, but all shades between by turns. Nothing is sure.”
– Gladys Hasty Carroll

“Never sign a Valentine with your own name.”
– Charles Dickens

“Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on Feb. 13. Get back together on the 15th.”
– David Letterman

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”
– Dorothy Parker

“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.”
– Mae West

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
– Rita Rudner

“Cold and snowy February does seem slow and trying, very. Still, a month made gay by Cupid never could be wholly stupid.”
– Louise Bennett Weaver

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.”
– Hal Borland

“Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.”
– Yoko Ono

“Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart.”
– Victor Hugo

“While it is February one can taste the full joys of anticipation. Spring stands at the gate with her finger on the latch.”
– Patience Strong

Want more uplifting sayings for your winter month? Then have a look at these inspirational February quotes, the funny winter quotes in this post and also this one filled with short February quotes.