Don’t Compare Your Life to Someone’s Highlight Reel

An image of a heart on a piece of cloth.

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
Lao Tzu

Today I’d like to focus on a negative habit that creates insecurity within, erodes self-esteem and can make you feel quite unhappy with your own life.

It’s something that has sprung up as we have moved a part of our lives on to the internet and social media.

And that habit is to compare yourself and your life to other people’s highlight reels.

What do I mean by that?

That it’s so easy to start comparing your life to the lives of friends, old classmates or celebrities of all sizes as you each day see how perfect their homes, kids, love lives are and how filled their lives are with wonderful moments.

But is that their whole lives that is shared on Facebook and Instagram?

Usually not.

It’s just the highlight reel of that person’s life. The positive moments.

And it’s natural thing really, to want to share such moments or days with your friends or followers.

Now, for some people this may develop into something destructive.

Into a way of creating a more perfect image of one’s life to get that hit of instant gratification as people add positivity via comments, likes and upvotes.

But everyone has problems at times.

They fail. Get sick. Have flaws, bad days or negative habits.

No matter who you are or what you look like or do.

I have those issues too. Just like anyone else.

I still stumble and fall on some days. Doubt myself or am pessimistic from time to time. That’s human.

So don’t strive for being perfect or measuring yourself against someone else’s highlight reel.

Here are three healthier steps you can take instead:

Step 1: Compare in a smarter way. 

A woman stepping over a fence.

There will always be people who have more or nicer things than you.

Or are better than you at something. No matter what you do.

So if you want to compare then do it in a way that won’t make you feel envious and inferior.

Do it by comparing yourself to yourself. See how far you have come. Look back at the obstacles you have overcome, what you have learned and how you have grown.

Step 2: Spend your energy and time on what matters the most. 

An hourglass standing on pebbles.

Step by step spend the hours in your day and week on building habits that will make you a better person and a happier one too.

For example, aim at being optimistic 70% of the time if you have been it maybe 50% in the past month.

Or spend more of your weekly free time on your favorite hobby or on sharpening a valuable skill. 

Step 3: Let go of what drags you down. 

A typewriter with a paper that says: cancel.

If necessary unsubscribe or remove social media accounts from your feed if you feel they are dragging you down and lowering your self-esteem. Even if those things might also be entertaining right now.

Life isn’t just a highlight reel no matter who shares it.

So look beyond that, remember that everyone is human and stop comparing yourself to that limited view of someone.

In the long run you’ll be happy that you did.

 

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About the Author

Henrik Edberg is the creator of the Positivity Blog and has written weekly articles here since 2006. He has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Gothenburg and has been featured on Lifehacker, HuffPost and Paulo Coelho’s blog. Click here to learn more…

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • That’s truly an amazing article about how we should not compare ourselves with others as we all are individuals and are special in some way or other.

  • Leandro Crispino

    Thank you. I was able to somehow learn to handle my overthinking problems because of your articles. More power. ?

  • Vicente Hillebrand

    Wow! Amazing text! Just perfect for me today. Thank you so much!

  • Smita Narain

    Really so practical and true. Thank you for showing such a simple way out of comparison.
    Compare yourself with yourself, only! God bless.

  • Diane

    Thank you, Henrik!
    Your positive words were very timely and beneficial to me, as always.

  • Erma watson

    Just what I needed for today. Being reflective and mindful are great tools(ways of living), however I often distort reflection into a means of offering judgment and criticism by way of comparing myself to someone else’s highlight reel. This article reminds me that comparing my life to others’ does not serve me well. Observation, reflection, and mindfulness serve me so much better. Thank you for the reminder

  • NIKHIL KATDARE

    I read all the articles published and it has gone a long way to make me a happier and a more productive person. Very useful.

  • Kb

    Thank you for these pieces of advice.

  • Sumit Makkar

    Its a important point that I got : that in Facebook etc its a m0ment that gets captured and we presume the whole life of that person like that and feel ourselves down.Comparison is so automatic.Everyone is human. Thnaks for ur contributions !!

  • Oh nice, people have to be enlightened on this. It is not only one trip or one highlight of some one’s file you need to keep comparing yourself with and cursing yourself with. Just live life happy with you and with your loved ones. For some motivation visit https://www.funnyquotesonlife.com/

  • Memory

    I just needed this thank you

  • Photoshop and exaggerating the truth go a long way in convincing people of a luxurious, or adventurous lifestyle. It is always best to be mindful of your own journey in life, and not envious of others.
    Greg

  • Thank you so much, a different blog site this page.

  • Sam

    Yet again a great read and a great way to start the morning here. Thank you for the positive words and reminding us that it is more meaningful to compare with ourself to better our lives.