Don’t Compare Your Life to Someone’s Highlight Reel

Don’t Compare Your Life to Someone’s High-Light Reel“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
Lao Tzu

Today I’d like to focus on a negative habit that creates insecurity within, erodes self-esteem and can make you feel quite unhappy with your own life.

It’s something that has sprung up as we have moved a part of our lives on to the internet and social media.

And that habit is to compare yourself and your life to other people’s highlight reels.

What do I mean by that?

That it’s so easy to start comparing your life to the lives of friends, old classmates or celebrities of all sizes as you each day see how perfect their homes, kids, love lives are and how filled their lives are with wonderful moments.

But is that their whole lives that is shared on Facebook and Instagram?

Usually not.

It's just the highlight reel of that person’s life. The positive moments.

And it’s natural thing really, to want to share such moments or days with your friends or followers.

Now, for some people this may develop into something destructive.

Into a way of creating a more perfect image of one’s life to get that hit of instant gratification as people add positivity via comments, likes and upvotes.

But everyone has problems at times.

They fail. Get sick. Have flaws, bad days or negative habits.

No matter who you are or what you look like or do.

I have those issues too. Just like anyone else.

I still stumble and fall on some days. Doubt myself or am pessimistic from time to time. That’s human.

So don’t strive for being perfect or measuring yourself against someone else’s highlight reel.

Here are three healthier steps you can take instead:

Step 1: Compare in a smarter way. 

There will always be people who have more or nicer things than you.

Or are better than you at something. No matter what you do.

So if you want to compare then do it in a way that won't make you feel envious and inferior.

Do it by comparing yourself to yourself. See how far you have come. Look back at the obstacles you have overcome, what you have learned and how you have grown.

Step 2: Spend your energy and time on what matters the most. 

Step by step spend the hours in your day and week on building habits that will make you a better person and a happier one too.

For example, aim at being optimistic 70% of the time if you have been it maybe 50% in the past month.

Or, for starters, find just one idea and action-step you can take to make a bit of extra money (and to begin reducing your financial worries).

Step 3: Let go of what drags you down. 

If necessary unsubscribe or remove social media accounts from your flow if you feel they are dragging you down and lowering your self-esteem. Even if those things might also be entertaining right now.

Life isn't just a highlight reel no matter who shares it.

So look beyond that, remember that everyone is human and stop comparing yourself to that limited view of someone.

In the long run you’ll be happy that you did.


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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • God bless you Henrik for your wonderful e-mail blogs and messages. You deserve an Emotional Nobel Prize for your generosity and caring for so many of us who are struggling in life. With much appreciation, Michael

  • Sanjusha

    Thank you so much Henrik. I just started following your blog few weeks month.. And you lifted my spirits really! Thank you! :)

  • Elizabeth

    Thanks Henrik. My spirit is lifted up thats awesome. Since childhood i was very shy, nervous to speak up(more than that i can say) low self-esteem. This shyness victimised me so much, wheneva i wanted to say something or my own view instead i will keep quite or i run out of words. Sometimes i had palpitations, my insides churning. Until i googled about low-seelf esteem and low self confidence, thats when i decided to follow this blog. Now i can fake it and keep calm on the surface and i hv figured out who i am. M so grateful to find about this blog and i’m so happy shame. Thanks a lot Henrik :-)

  • Hey Henrik,
    Incredible post. Thanks for boosting our soul up. I love our blog, it puts my positivity level on top :)

  • Felix

    That’s a good one Henrik

  • Aracely

    Thank you. Very useful post in these times when social media are changing our perception of friendship, communication and of our own lives.

  • Lukas

    Wonderful message. Yes every body has his own weakness and failure in his/her life. There is no need to pause ourselves and comparing our lives with them. Be ourselves and motivating is the very thing and dear blogger thank you very much for sharing this highly valuable advice.

  • Tom

    Dats encouraging Enriquè, thanx alot!

  • Thanks, a nice post. What is key here is that one really should compare oneself with oneself. Today, for example, your weight is a few kg lower than a week ago. So, you made some progress. If, on the other hand, you compare yourself with superstars, you will always feel unhappy.

  • Mwamba

    This is wonderful thanks for this.

  • I like your post and I will follow your advise. And I learned that people live different from us. And if I envious, I will pressure myself.

  • Thanks Henrik. It is so easy for us to get lost in a sea of other people’s happy moments that we lose sight of our own.
    This is such great insight and a message that I have really found myself coming back to since I read it a couple of days ago!

  • “Step 3: Let go of what drags you down.” – I think It’s one of the most important and necessary things. Not a secret, that most people that have really exiting life have very poor social media accounts. So sometimes, it happens that the image created by you in social networks, does not give you to evolve and makes you to be the someone else. If you want to change – burn all bridges.

  • A.rahman sabry

    I don’t think so

    Comparison is the most basic brain function, it is comparison that fires through our neurons, this looks like a retreat strategy, to unsubscribe, get away, blind ourselves,
    Instead we should rather try to create balance, or to restore balance precisely, at least we should accept that balance must be restored someway, even by death, instead of ignoring an imbalanced situation.

    Think about this for a moment
    How can we expand our comfort zone without making comparisons? It is only through making comparisons that we can see the difference, or see at all