Don’t Compare Your Life to Someone’s Highlight Reel

Woman sitting on a couch reading a book while her phone rests in a basket in the foreground.

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
Lao Tzu

Today I’d like to focus on a negative habit that creates insecurity within, erodes self-esteem and can make you feel quite unhappy with your own life.

It’s something that has sprung up as we have moved a part of our lives on to the internet and social media.

And that habit is to compare yourself and your life to other people’s highlight reels.

What do I mean by that?

That it’s so easy to start comparing your life to the lives of friends, old classmates or celebrities of all sizes as you each day see how perfect their homes, kids, love lives are and how filled their lives are with wonderful moments.

But is that their whole lives that is shared on Facebook and Instagram?

Usually not.

It’s just the highlight reel of that person’s life. The positive moments.

And it’s natural thing really, to want to share such moments or days with your friends or followers.

Now, for some people this may develop into something destructive.

Into a way of creating a more perfect image of one’s life to get that hit of instant gratification as people add positivity via comments, likes and upvotes.

But everyone has problems at times.

They fail. Get sick. Have flaws, bad days or negative habits.

No matter who you are or what you look like or do.

I have those issues too. Just like anyone else.

I still stumble and fall on some days. Doubt myself or am pessimistic from time to time. That’s human.

So don’t strive for being perfect or measuring yourself against someone else’s highlight reel.

Here are three healthier steps you can take instead:

Step 1: Compare in a smarter way. 

There will always be people who have more or nicer things than you.

Or are better than you at something. No matter what you do.

So if you want to compare then do it in a way that won’t make you feel envious and inferior.

Do it by comparing yourself to yourself. See how far you have come. Look back at the obstacles you have overcome, what you have learned and how you have grown.

Step 2: Spend your energy and time on what matters the most. 

Step by step spend the hours in your day and week on building habits that will make you a better person and a happier one too.

For example, aim at being optimistic 70% of the time if you have been it maybe 50% in the past month.

Or spend more of your weekly free time on your favorite hobby or on sharpening a valuable skill. 

Step 3: Let go of what drags you down. 

If necessary, unsubscribe or remove social media accounts from your feed if you feel they are dragging you down and lowering your self-esteem. Even if those things might also be entertaining right now.

Life isn’t just a highlight reel no matter who shares it.

So look beyond that, remember that everyone is human and stop comparing yourself to that limited view of someone.

In the long run you’ll be happy that you did.

 

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About the Author

Henrik Edberg is the creator of the Positivity Blog and has written weekly articles here since 2006. He has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Gothenburg and has been featured on Lifehacker, HuffPost and Paulo Coelho’s blog. Click here to learn more…

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • So true and something we all wrestle with. The main comparison should be with ourselves several years back and see (and celebrate) how far we’ve come. Not always easy, but trying.

  • Amit Pandey

    Dear Henric Edberg,
    It was such a nice and true article which almost eberybody knows but no one implements in their own life. But i promise that i’ll try to bring these all things in me.
    Regards,
    Amit Pandey

  • You are amazing! This was right on time! Thank you!

  • jameel ahmed

    it really positivity because with this my lives had compeletily changed

  • Excellent article Henrik. Really great advice. I think we all need to take a step back at times and look at what we have and how far we have come instead of fretting on what others have or are doing. I guess I’m saying be grateful for what we have and more will come. I found your blog thru a share on Facebook and so happy I did.

  • Lorene

    Well said. One of the best parts of growing older (I’m 62 1/2) is that I no longer suffer from that urge to compare or compete like I did when I was a single mom struggling to make ends meet. But I remember plenty of times when a glimpse of someone else’s seemingly perfect life would bum me out. Social media can really distort. So good content and well spotted. Thanks!

  • I have just 3 four-letter words for this article; AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!

  • Mark T

    Very good article. I find myself doing that also and it does make you feel a little bad inside. I also find myself saying “thats their life, but it is not always great”

  • This one was the true epitome of optimism. You have no clue how nifty your words are to someone so lost like me! Now is an atrocious period in my life and these posts keep me from drifting away.

  • ashley

    I was just pissed of about all this jus last night thinking about a girl, many people follow this girl on instagram and she gets so many likes! I thought I was inferior! I deleted all my accounts. I was being soo stupid! I jus feel so better! Positivity blog is just for me. Thank you soo much! ^_^

  • Awesome thoughts to start my day!

  • Lola

    When you compare yourself with others , you limit yourself and the purpose why God created you . There has been occasions why I look at some people ‘s life style and achievements and I wonder why not me or why Can’t I be in their shoes . I have gone through a lot of depression and heart-aches which does not change anything. Am more manured. and focus on God’s promises now. I believe God has a purpose for everybody. Carry your cross religiously and learn to give thanks to God which ever position you find yourself . Stand on the promises of God and He will never fail you

  • Gilda Sánchez

    Your comments and texts are extraordinary! thank you and congratulations.

  • Kris

    Thank you. I have been enjoying and taking notes on your blog posts for some time and just wanted to acknowledge that they are helping find my true self and purpose. Thank you

  • Mike

    Love your positive blogs !! — They often help me making it through the day !!
    Thank you very much for doing this !!