“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere”.
Lee Iacocca
One of the trickier things about social skills is to get your message across.
One reason why people have difficulty with this is because they use more words than needed.
I know. I have done so too many times to count. I keep babbling on and on about something for far too long and fill the air with too many words.
Now, sometimes that can be a good and enjoyable thing. Sometimes it’s just a way to feed your own ego and keep the spotlight on yourself for as long as possible. A lot of the time I think it can be useful to simplify and try to use fewer words.
Why? I’ll get to that.
First though, just a few thoughts on the how. How do you keep your wordcount down? I think you just have to try to be more aware and alert. Think about what you are about to say before it whooshes out of your mouth. Focus on what you really want to convey.
Babbling on too much is, at least in my opinion, something that often comes from being too focused inward. Being too focused on yourself in a conversation.
If you instead focus more outward you’ll be less self-conscious. This reduces nervous and slightly nonsensical babbling.
And if you focus more outward, on the people you are talking to and less on your own glorious voice and golden words you’ll be more aware of what you are saying and how the conversation is going. If you focus on the other guy/gal you’ll be more focused on getting through and more attentive to the reactions you bring out.
So, stay aware of what you want to convey. And focus much of your attention outward to reduce babbling and to be more alert to what’s happening and how your message comes across. Now, on to reason number one why you should keep it simple.
1. Clarity.
Obviously. If you only use what is needed then there will be less room and risk for misunderstandings. And overall, the message usually gets through easier when someone keeps it simple. This has at least been my experience when I listen to people who keep it simple.
2. Emotional punch.
Just like when you’re writing, keeping it simple can give your spoken words a bigger emotional punch. When your message is focused and clearly directed instead of muddled and lost in too many words it becomes more powerful.
3. Less risk of boredom.
Even though you may think what you are saying is most interesting thing since we first discovered YouTube others may not share this feeling. If you keep it concise with a clear intention your message becomes more lucid, more emotionally powerful and probably shorter. So it becomes easier to keep the attention of your audience and actually get your message through.
4. You’ll be less eager to stroke your ego.
Going on and on about something may be a way to show off your cleverness. Cleverness is overrated. It’s mostly a good way to feed your own ego. It’s not such a good way to get your point across. Or to become less self-conscious.
By complicating things and wanting to be clever you reinforce your negative habit. You’ll focus too much on yourself and what others may think of you.
If you keep it simple and clear and if you focus on the people you are talking to you’ll become more free to say what you want. It might not feel as good at first since you are not stroking your ego or reinforcing your cleverness. But I have found that in the long run it makes things easier and reduces some of your own inner limitations. The real, less self-conscious you gets more of a chance to shine through.
5. It keeps the rest of your communication more focused and aligned.
If you keep your mind focused on what you are trying to convey and on the people you are talking to you are a lot more focused compared to if you just ramble on.
When your mind is more focused on these two things the rest of your body plays along more easily. And your body language and voice tonality is 93 percent of your communication.
As you are more involved and attentive in the conversation more emotions like enthusiasm is pumped into how you are saying something. And your body language becomes more focused with an alert posture and, for example, with clearer hand gestures. You become more in sync with yourself and all parts of your communication become simpler, clearer and more powerful.
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While the meat of the article has valid points, why would I take grammar instruction from someone putting forth so many grammatical errors?
It’s spelled “babbling.”
Actually, when people say too much it’s usually because they are afraid of being misunderstood. They can’t resist adding qualifiers to hedge their statements because they’re hyper-aware of the listener taking their remarks the wrong way. Ego? Really? I don’t think so.
To whom it may concern;
“Babbeling” is correctly spelled “babbling”, fyi. Good article otherwise.
Great post. The is true of writing, and this article actually reminds me of some tips I wrote a while back.
Your babbling on about how not to babble defeating the purpose
I’d give this article a 3/5. If it had several examples I would be inclined to give it a 4/5.
It’s ironic how wordy the article is on a topic about simplifying your speech.
This article is decent.
Most people are stupid.
Stupid people like simple things.
We should use simple dialogue.
This is not grammar instruction, :-/
You should like this article, :-/
quasi babble which seemingly fails to do much in the way of explaining “how to”. perhaps this article is a victim of its desire for brevity. appreciate the authors effort &
5 Reasons Why You Should Simplify Your Blog Post, and How to Do It
1.) Spell Check (forces you to rethink the Genesis Thought)
2.) Talk less about “why” and get to the “how” quicker:
- type out your blog post
- delete it
- retype it at 3 AM from memory
- finally, cut the word count in half
- shake, don’t stir
3.) It’s not a conversation; it’s about distilling mental images down to a base material that is easy enough for strangers to use at cocktail parties; not at the book of the month club.
4.) 3 reasons are more than enough.
5.) Teach don’t preach.
/Frank Turd
For those criticizing the article for being terribly written:
You are correct. There are so many grammatical errors that an English-minded person may become alienated from appreciating the content. It should be noted that aptitude at English and intelligence are not necessarily connected. For those referencing the misspelling of “babbling,” there are far worse and debilitating errors than that here.
However, as Fred said above, “most people are stupid.” Therefore, this article helps most people become better communicators. If you are intelligent, then one of two points is true: one, you either already eliminate redundancy in your speech and, therefore, need no instruction in the first place; or two, you recognize the dichotomy between the writing style and the content here, allowing you to learn something despite the poor grammar.
I think these are great points. Who cares about grammar and spelling as long as the point comes through, which it did.
One phenomenon that seems to occur by being succinct is a polarization of the audience. They’ll either agree or disagree, love it or hate it.
This is certainly something I need to put into practice.
Another thing this helps with is jokes. You want to get the punchline out of your mouth before they can predict how you’ll finish. Being less specific actually helps the humour, as people can fill in the details for themselves.
Thank you all for your comments and criticism. I appreciate it. My spelling of babbling has been corrected.
As for my grammar, I agree that it’s not always that great. English is my second language so there will probably be some mistakes in my articles. I’m trying to improve though.
Alarm: That is a good point. Though in that case I’d say that sometimes the ego is still involved. When they add qualifiers because they are afraid that what they say may be misunderstood then that can be the ego wanting to protect itself from being wrong and from hurtful feelings. My definition of the ego comes from Eckhart Tolle, but you may have another that is different though.
John: Thanks for sharing. That’s an excellent article.
Ryan: Thanks for the tip.
Argh, stop correcting writers spelling! What’s the point? If you write an article, you will probably look the words up that you cannot spell. Or Firefox will check it for you (I just assume he’s not using IE because it’s a good article and he seems like a good person
).
If you think the writer really want’s to be corrected, do it nicely. Just saying the one thing “BlahBlah is spelled BlaBla!!” is not nice. Actually it feels like the whole article sucks if you don’t say more than that…
And finally – who cares?! I could read it, I understood it. Languages evolves every day. Misspelled word becomes right spelled. Right spelled words become “old”.
(I’m from sweden, i’m allowed to misspell words
fu!)
Simplicity is complex.
Complexity is simple.
I agree with this article..^^..if you don’t push yourself too much to be noticed…other people will see in them that you have something special in you..^^
i am on a train and i am waving ‘bye-bye’ to people that are hung up on grammar and spelling.
cya!
the rest of us are traveling and meeting people and using body language and weird facial expressions and electronic dictionaries and cave-drawings to get a beer.
this just in…content has just overtaken style.
yea!!
I have at least three versions of every anecdote in my “repertoire,” and use whichever is most appropriate in a given situation.
Most of the time it’s the “short” version, about 30-60 seconds. I also have the “headline” version, which is 10 seconds or less.
And, for use ONLY when someone really WANTS to hear it, I have the full unedited version. I may use that only once every couple of years.
Author: Only yesterday I had a several hours long discussion with a friend over IM. The length of the conversation more so reflected my conversant’s tendency towards narcissism, egotism, and inward-focusing than it did the weight of the discussion’s content. We eventually started discussing THAT (his glaring tendency towards self-centeredness), and he was pleased, not offended, that I managed to bring it to his attention.
Today I saw this on my LifeHacker RSS feed, and thought it would be good for a laugh; boy was I mistaken. He thanked me sincerely only a few moments ago for sharing this with him.
I thank you deeply for your astute articulation, not on HOW to curtail babble, but the reasons a person does so.
The author is correct. I started using this technique overseas with my ESL clients and now I see its benefits in most of my daily communication.
However, the author could have made the article much shorter by just stating the key points
The ambition that inspired the article is great. So are the reasons, but maybe the “how to” is a little bit light? Just a thought. After all, we’ve all had that experience when we know we’ve just talked too much, bored the audience, confused our listener, and so on. The sell on why it’s worth simplifying seems like it could be pretty short. Learning to focus, though, is something one could write a book about… without over-explaining.
“How to Win Friends and Influence People,” by the way, gives several good tips on how to converse with people in a way that impresses (a great deal of which involves letting the other person do most of the talking). There are also language tips. For instance, you come across as smarter when you use words that are not “latinate,” which runs against common belief.
Another great tip is to take a look at story telling sites (there are professional storytellers) and study, as somebody suggested, joke telling. Both will give you an idea of how to keep the thread of conversation taut.
You might also keep a stopwatch running in your head and imagine that, each time you speak, you have only so much time you’re allowed to flap your gums and then it’s time to stop. Can you get in what you want to say in that time? The more this becomes a habit, the better you’ll get. Some of just conversing simply just comes from the realization that you don’t own the conversation. You owe the other people involved time for their own input.
That means not interrupting. That means asking questions. That means actually absorbing the details and listening for cues that lay open other opportunities for more questions (not an interrogation, but genuine interest), and so on.
You get the picture.
I’ve feel obligated to give another thumbs down for this article. I know this post is not about grammar, but I prefer to avoid polluting my mind by reading such low quality writing.
oh, btw, good article. i’m not sure why people are having such a hangup about the grammar. i got the point of it, and it’s a good point. it may not sound as eloquent as it could, but who cares, it doesn’t make it wrong.
Top notch article! People ramble on because they are too self conscious (wanting to hedge their what they say instead of spending the time in doing the research to fully understand something and to be clear and concise).
And I really hate how some jackasses are stroking their ego’s by trash talking the grammar. Get a life, no one wants to hear you.
As someone who talks entirely too much, I appreciated the article. It was a good reminder my bad habit and the benefits of talking less.
As for the typos, I didn’t really notice, but am impressed that he has such a concernd audience. If I had as many readers as Henrik, I’m sure everyone would find typos on my blog too!
Hey – great article. Writing for the sake of writing is one of my pet peeves…
great article keep writing because there are others that appreciates the pointers
I just want to say that i practise consceincely what u point out in many of my communication sessions with others. But like many ,i too faulter , for many reasons.
What i find most frustrating is when i’m trying so hard to be attentive to someone i listen to , they get offended when i try and point out more effective points in communication which they are very weak in!!! I do it in hopes that we will have better communication in the future conversations.
Even tho sometimes it will never be perfect, but at least effective.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and i agree whole heartedly with all the important points. COMMUNICATION ISNT JUST EFFECTIVE SPEAKING ITS ALSO EFFECTIVE LISTENING AND RESPONDING TO WHAT U HEAR APPROPRIATELY AND IN A RESPECTFUL FASHION.
I just wanted to share that with u all and the poster of this article. I am open to any suggestions on how to encourage others to fallow this communication model more effectively without my frustration building up into an argument with them about it. anoyone have any for me to try??? Sincerely,TL
One reason for embellishing speech is the ‘duh’ look after giving the short version. You KNOW your audience didn’t catch the material because they are slack-jawed and their eyes aren’t focused. Although this may be their normal state of being, it was your job to somehow intrude on that and insert information, wedging it in if need be.
So you add illustrations, define words, re-state the blindingly obvious in ever simpler terms. It has nothing to do with ego; everything to do with not accomplishing your mission of communicating something that was, by definition, important enough to bother with.
I am often given timed speaking assignments so rich that, after researching them, I become convinced that I have been asked to give only the first five minutes of a ten-hour lecture.
Do I understand the material? Yup. Can I simplify it in my own mind? Yup, again. Can I simplify it so much that Homer Simpson can take a 300 second sound bite and make intelligent life decisions from it? Nope … but that is my charter.
I’m working on it.
Wake up … I’m done.
There’s a whole website full of products dedicated to this purpose: Say what you’re thinking in as few words as possible. It’s http://www.shutfup.com or http://www.theslamcard.com. Slam cards are each printed with a direct quote from your inner voice. You know, the voice in your head you keep at bay when faced with annoying people. There are 60 different “slams” spread across 6 different categories like commuting, dating, office, college and more. They are hilarious. It’s a great gift to give as an inside joke between friends. You will LOL!
Great Blog Post. It’s a shame that some of the readers cannot offer constructive criticism without ego or arrogance. I’m astonished by the level of nastiness but it’s funny how they gravitate towards a Positivity website
. I’m sure you won’t take it to heart anyway. Keep on writing!
I believe that wordiness can often be a symptom of inward focus and ego-stroking. I think that the speaker conscious of his audience would speak concisely and simply.
I appreciate that writers and other studiers of language filter words through the lenses of grammar, spelling and other structures, but offer that for most people the meaning of words is what is key. Language is arbitrary and ever-changing (as Tony observes). Consideration on the other hand never goes out of style–for instance offering grammar or spelling tips to the author discretely instead of using mistakes as soapboxes to stand upon for attention. To those folks I may refer you back to the points in the article about “inward focus” and “ego”.
I appreciated the article very much. Thank you for the pointers. I also appreciated Alarm’s comment since it applies so much in my case. Also, since Fred and James are big on technicalities, I was wondering if either could supply qualifying data to back up their statement that “most people are stupid”???
Hey……yeh I think that there are far too many stupid misguided wannabe smartarses on the net trying to take their own grievances with having achieved precious little if anyting in life and having nothing positive to bring to the table of discussion themselves, set out to be petty and undermining to those who come with positivity. In their narrow mindedness they completely miss the point and value of whats said. I feel sorry for them. As for the article I think it was good and thanks for contributing. Shame some people cant take things in the spirit they were intended…..all I can say is good luck in life to those so anally retentive as to post crap about grammar lol n spellins…….u sad acts, just hope u never see a sign post with mispellings or u’ll never get to where ur goin, collapsing beneath the sign while exasperatedly shaking ur fists to the heavens shouting “WHY GOD??????…..WHY?” with the good book by ur sides (the dictionary Id say) ……..L 2 da O 2 da L
listen Mr Henrik Edberg, u posted a nice blog.i liked it
u r talented and almost 100% right.
u cant satisfy ALL people what ever u do or say
keep it up,
Considering the education level of todays graduates, brevity in writing is a must—–the audience has been trained to only input 30 second sound bites. (gosh I hope I spelled everything right, don’t want the Spelling Nazi on my case)
Thanks for your article; I book-marked it on my computer for reference. I’m surprised at the negative responses you received, since I was coming to it for content.
It helped. Keep giving what you think to give, regardless how or when it gets seen.
Writing is about thoughts being conveyed and expressed. The thought was conveyed. The author wants to say more with less words. The more I write, the more my skill and the nuts and bolts of writing are perfected.
I would challenge the author to take the original work and go back through and scale it down and drill in…then spelll check and keep going through it and repost. This is what truly makes for a great read. In my opinion…of course.
-M
“5 Reasons Why You Should Simplify What You Say, and How to Do It” I had to just say, you are doing a FINE job on your Post. I love reading all that you have to say, preach or no preaching. A mispelled word is not going to kill the reader either.
Excellent article. Your English is excellent.
Anyone who is trying to improve social skills will find this article to their delight. The others, the ones who want to criticize, well…..it was not meant for them anyway.
Thanks again!
So u corrected the spelling, thats enough 4 an ego boost today….i liked the article n didnt realize all this mumbo jumbo till i got to the comments
Great job, very helpful facts. Way to go and keep up the good work!
People who are correcting spelling or complaining about grammar are
1) Being rude, obnoxious, and contributing absolutely nothing
2) Missing the whole point of this blog, which is about improving your life and being positive
3) Overlooking the obvious that English isn’t the writer’s first language (the name Henrik is your first clue) and failing to give him credit for having better English skills than many native speakers.
Go away if you can’t be positive, don’t disrupt and belittle other peoples’ efforts.
when public speaking, I try to remember the 20-minute rule. this is the average attention span of an adult and as much as possible, I squeeze everything within those precious minutes or else, i lose my audience. when it’s not possible then i give one interesting statement for each 20 minutes of the speech to renew their interest with what i am trying to say.
thanks, great post.
the overall concept was really good ………….simple is always beautiful and praise worthy……..keep it up
criticism self-centered grammarians practice what you say & have mercy on us underlings . NO INSULT INTENDED > Thanks for your ear. DOCTOR G