Note: This is a guest post by Christine MS.
If youâ€™ve ever tried something new and had it fail, I know Iâ€™ll find you more interesting to talk to than the guy who has had everything work out.
That guy is never trying anything new. You have courage. You are amassing life experience. You are learning where the strength to get back up comes from. Youâ€™re headed somewhere good.
Failure creates new choice
Youâ€™ve refined your destination. Youâ€™ve reset your priorities. Unfortunately, there is no other way to learn all of this but its worth to you is huge. Itâ€™s when youâ€™re down in a hole that you figure out whatâ€™s going to pull you back out. This is the time when you take a look around and decide what youâ€™re not willing to give up.
The best part of failure is that it takes your journey on a path it could never have found without.
New doors might reveal themselves, relationships might become stronger, other relationships might dissolve because they are no longer consistent with your new self.
Itâ€™s easy to feel resentment. Itâ€™s natural. You wouldnâ€™t be true to yourself if you denied its presence. But donâ€™t feed it.
Donâ€™t find reasons to excuse and explain it. Once it gets its grapple hooks into your skin, it does not like to let go. You will carry it around and it will infect your every waking moment.
Weâ€™ve all seen this, right? A woman who has chosen (because it is a choice) to clutch anger closely and allow it to color her reaction to everything, new and old. We watch it grow over the years like a cancer, and we see the price the disease makes her pay. We are uncomfortable just being around her.
Where your creativity comes from
Being wrong leads to being creative. If youâ€™re never willing to be wrong, then youâ€™ll never be as innovative as when your imagination is prodded by failure. Youâ€™ll just repeat what you already know over and over. That gets stagnant fast.
Children are not afraid of being wrong. Theyâ€™ll give anything a shot. If it doesnâ€™t work out, they move on to another solution immediately. Grownups become afraid of being wrong.
In a brilliant and very funny talk at TED, Sir Ken Robinson discusses how the education system so stigmatizes mistakes, as does corporate life, that we are taught out of making mistakes. I agree with that.
Some of this fear of failure also comes from the natural loss of flexibility and elasticity that comes with age. I think about this often, because I think seeing it very clearly helps you catch it in yourself and fight back.
Expect to fail some of the time
I believe a visionary teacher or employer will notice the person who takes a chance at a solution much more favorably than someone who wonâ€™t. The point is not how it turns out. The point is how another brain assessed the problem and went about solving it.
The point is also that you are taking risk. If you are endlessly conservative, you cannot maximize your potential.
You gain power by overcoming adversity
The more entirely you dismantle the situation you were in, the more entirely you can recreate a new one. The more dramatic the loss, the more far-reaching and encompassing the reconstruction.
Float above yourself and see the larger view of your journey. The scenery is changing. Your experience will influence how you handle every situation and decision from now on.
Most people with a life that appears very positive can give you a list of the negative events that got them there. With maturity comes the patience you need to ride it out. Pretty soon, it will just be something you remember from your past.
Christine MS has written this article.
Image by Lil Erna.