3 Things You Need to Stop Doing to Live a Simpler Life

3 Things You Need to Stop Doing to Live a Simpler Life

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
Confucius

This article is about a few mistakes I’ve made.

About a few destructive habits that can make life quite messy and unhappy.

And it’s about what you can do instead to replace those mistakes and habits with something better.

This article is all about uncovering simplicity if you find yourself having overcomplicated your life.

1. Stop overthinking things.

Few habits and mistakes are as common as getting stuck in overthinking.

I used to do it all the time.

And it led to a lot of analysis paralysis, to little action being taken on what I deep down wanted and to so much time and energy wasted.

What to do instead:

Set short deadlines.

When you have all the time in the world to consider something then that can often wind up in you spending a lot of time thinking about the situation at hand from every conceivable angle.

I have found that learning to set short deadlines is really helpful for this, although it take a bit to practice.

So for small decisions like if should go and do the dishes or go and work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.

For somewhat larger decisions that in the past would have taken me days or weeks to think through I set a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

Say stop in a situation where you know you can’t think straight.

I know that I’m more vulnerable to negative thinking and overthinking things when I’m hungry or when I’m close to my bedtime.

And so I have learned to stay away from thinking about anything important during that time.

And if such thoughts with a negative twist still pop up then I tell myself: No, no, we’re not going to think about this now.

Because I know that I will be back to thinking clearly and optimistically again if I just get some food or sleep.

I highly recommend finding your own situation(s) when you are more vulnerable to overthinking or pessimism. And to catch yourself and redirect your thoughts at such times.

2. Stop making your daily work busier and more complicated than it needs to be.

It’s very easy to get stuck in the same old rut at work or in school. To spend your hours there like you usually do and like most of the other people do too.

With a lot of time spent on busy work, procrastination and on being stressed on weekends or just before a deadline.

What to do instead:

Breathe and find what truly matters in the long run.

First, sit down and take a couple of deep breaths to relax and to focus your mind.

Then ask yourself: what is the most important thing I can do today?

Think about what would matter most in the long run when you ask yourself this question. Find just that one task.

Get started with that one task.

If you have trouble taking action and are slipping into procrastination then go smaller.

Tell yourself: I will work on this task for just 2 minutes.

Make getting started so easy on yourself that there is very little or no inner resistance in your mind.

Because if you just get started then it’s in my experience pretty easy to keep going for a while longer and to make a real dent in the task or even completing it.

3. Stop overcomplicating your relationships.

The fun, excitement and joy in a relationship of any kind can often be greatly reduced by simple and common thought mistakes.

Two such mistakes I’ve made too often in the past are to try to read minds and to go full in with creating drama.

What to do instead:

Ask.

Trying to mindread usually winds up in creating nightmare scenarios in your own mind.

Because reading minds is pretty much impossible and so it is very easy to project your own worst fears onto what this person might be thinking.

So instead start cultivating a habit of being a bit more direct. Cultivate a habit of asking and more clearly communicating to better understand each other.

Question your own drama.

There can be a sort of temporary pleasure or excitement in creating drama and making something bigger or more negative than it is.

In the short run and even more so in the long run it tends to be quite destructive though.

So start questioning your own drama.

Ask yourself:  

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

Ask it before you start creating and spreading drama to the people in your life.

Sure, the issue at hand may still have to be addressed but simplify it to what it truly is before you do that to avoid unnecessary conflicts, anger and hurt feelings.

And don’t forget to question other people’s drama too by asking yourself the same question.

Just because they want to create drama doesn’t mean that you have to get drawn into it.

 

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About the Author

Henrik Edberg is the creator of the Positivity Blog and has written weekly articles here since 2006. He has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Gothenburg and has been featured on Lifehacker, HuffPost and Paulo Coelho’s blog. Click here to learn more…

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Wen

    I am a chronic over thinker so I decided not to label myself with it. I’ve learned to watch my thoughts, stop, and rethink once, no no or yes ok. Recognizing them is more difficult but your clarity has helped so much in this highly distracted world. Just getting to the next thing is a challenge and then acting on it I often come to a standstill. Learning to question my desires to get under the procrastination ?????

  • Dana

    Great! Very helpful!

  • Merry

    Love this! Sounds like hard habits to break but I believe all habits can be changed with determination so keep these coming! I find reading through these at the beginning of my day kind of “sets the stage” Thank you!

  • Mel

    I always find SOMETHING useful in your advice. This is so rare these days. Some people who talk about this stuff seem like aliens to me. I am just sure they have no idea what it is like to actually struggle. You seem like you have actually stumbled through these problems like a real, imperfect human struggling with a mind that will not just take orders. I love that your advice always has contingency plans for the contingency plans! Because sometimes you REALLY CAN’T do the tiniest thing. I like that it sounds like you have actually experienced days like that and can explain your thought process for digging yourself out of it. And then sometimes you admit that you just can’t. And that is everything! Your perspective is so unique and valuable. Thank you!

  • Lee Hudson

    Thank you – this was relevant and helpful!