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How to Turn a Bad Day Around

“To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.”
Henry David Thoreau

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.”
Robert Louis Stevenson

Some days are great, better than you would have expected when you rolled out of the bed in the morning.

Quite a few days are just good and OK days.

And then we have the other ones. The days that just wind up being bad.

What do you do then? I used to let them drag me down and I often wound up having not just one but a couple of bad days because of whatever happened.

Nowadays I do things a bit differently. I follow four general steps that I use to change my thoughts and how I feel if I find myself starting to have a bad day.

And I’d like to share those steps today.

1. Shake things up by using your body.

This is currently the first step I take. Well, most of the time at least. Sometimes I start with step #2 – find a new viewpoint – so you may want to see what order works best for you.

So I am having a sad, unmotivated, tired day or one where I wind up in a negative situation or more.

  • Breathe. The first thing I do is to just breathe. I breathe deeply through my nose by using my belly. I focus only on the air going in and out for about 1 minute.
  • Do a power pose. Then I follow that up by striking what Amy Cuddy calls a power pose for about 2 minutes (check out her TED talk, it’s really good). The simplest way to strike a power pose is to stand up confidently like Wonder Woman with your legs apart, head up and your hands on your hips. It might sound odd but it can really change how you feel in a quick and positive way.
  • Work out. A third step I sometimes use to shake things up by using my body is to lift free weights in my home. I do this for about 30 minutes and it helps me to release tensions and worry. And after I am done I feel more powerful, focused and energetic.

2. Find a new viewpoint.

The body tips above often work well to change my perspective by altering my emotional state and energy level.

Sometimes something more is needed though.

So I start looking more actively for a better and more helpful viewpoint by asking myself a couple of questions.

Three of my most commonly used questions that help me with that are:

  • Will this matter 5 years from now?
  • Who cares?
  • What is one small action, one small and practical step I can take to start turning this day or situation around?

3. Accept.

A third and powerful step that sometimes work better than the two above is simply to accept what is at this moment.

To not deny or try to push away negative feelings or thoughts that show up. Even though you may feel an impulse to do so.

Instead, just accept what is right now. The thoughts and feelings within you. And just be with them fully and observe them flowing through you.

By doing so you are not giving up.

No, because when you accept what is then you stop feeding the negative thoughts in your mind with more energy. And so they become weaker.

They start to lose their grip on you after a while and then they float away. And so you feel more open and are able to think more clearly again.

4. Sometimes a bad day will just be a bad day.

Now, from time to time, even if you use the steps above you won’t be able to turn a bad day around. That has been my experience at least.

Because no matter what habits you adopt, life will never be perfect, positive or awesome all the time.

And this website was never about living some kind of life that only exists in a perfect dream anyway.

This website is about replacing unhelpful habits with better ones. It is about raising the percentages of times where you can handle things in a better way. In your regular, everyday life. And when bigger things happen.

Because that will make a huge difference.

But still, life will have natural valleys.

And a bad day will sometimes just be a bad day. And that’s OK. That’s life.

But the interesting thing is this: if you accept that life is like this sometimes – and let go of the dream of perfection – then you’ll create less suffering for yourself and life will become lighter, simpler and happier.

So in the long run there is an upside even to a bad day that you may not be able to turn around.

Image by Luis Hernandez – D2k6.es (license).

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Noel May 26, 2014, 3:32 pm

    great post here Henrik! We all have bad days where nothing’s just going our way but one thing I learned, which you also pointed out above is that we just have to accept it. There are things that are beyond out control and when these things happen, our best weapon is to change our attitude instead. Since then I’ve learned to simply move on and not dwell on it because my day gets ruined, my relationships get affected and I lose in the end.

  • jessica May 27, 2014, 9:51 am

    I love this article, very inspiring and very good to read!

    Thank

    Jess, xoxo

  • Cody Butler May 27, 2014, 3:20 pm

    As you say sometimes a bad day is just a bad day, they’re going to happen. The key really is how we respond to bad days. Trying to avoid them is just dumb, learning how to respond to them is a much more productive pass time. But if I had to give and answer to the question “how to deal with a bad day?” The gym is the answer, 20 minutes on a running machine will certainly change your state of mind.

  • Brian Wingfield May 28, 2014, 3:54 am

    Your posts are great! They are always spot on & inspiring.

  • Sassie May 29, 2014, 9:13 am

    Hi! I love how you bring your point across in a crisp and fresh way! Very enjoyable read! Here’s mine. :)

    http://thedutchessofsass.blogspot.sg/2014/05/10-things-i-should-stop-doing-to-myself.html

  • deborah May 29, 2014, 3:02 pm

    I think that mindfullness and acceptance are the two most powerful tips. Posture and exercising work on the body reaction and regarging exercise it helps increasing the level of enddorphins and so it is objectivily helpful.
    But when you find yourself in a bad situation that you can’t completely change right now, I ask myself “How can I make it a little bit funnier? How can I change my attitude towards it a little bit to cheer me up?”.
    I use exercise as well, but I also try to have more fun: taht includes watching funny tv shows, spending more time with my family and friends and including more spare happy time for myself. That helps a lot.
    Even if it’s not just a bad day but a bad month.

    Hope it helps

    Deborah

  • Tatyana May 31, 2014, 7:53 pm

    Excellent tips! Good steps to follow. Actually, sometimes we just should accept the fact that it’s a bad day. No more. It’s not the end of your life. Just reality.

  • ????????? June 1, 2014, 12:02 am

    Hmm it looks like your website ate my first comment
    (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll
    just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
    I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything.
    Do you have any tips for newbie blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.

  • Little Owl June 1, 2014, 6:58 am

    Even bad days have good moments, you just have to recognise them and hold on to them until the bad day becomes a good day :)

  • Everyday is a Holiday! June 7, 2014, 7:15 am

    Thank you for sharing. Wonderful and well written!

    Acceptance is the key to life. Bad days challenge us and they show us where we are during that season. In or out of balance. Are you out of pace with the Universe? God? Do we realize everything is already planned? Whatever your beliefs may be, at the end of the day, it’s all a part of life.

  • Lynsey Moffett June 16, 2014, 9:14 am

    Another fab article, thank you Henrik! :-) keep up the good work!

  • Jack June 20, 2014, 7:48 am

    Wonderful post Henrik! To accept is a hard part to do. But need to walk and live another day. Thanks for sharing.

  • Jared June 29, 2014, 11:50 pm

    This is exactly what I needed today. I was grumpy and blaming everyone else for my troubles. Your positive blog helped turn the day around. Thank you so much.

  • Maureen Coffey July 1, 2014, 3:27 pm

    Well … just don’t think about it as a “bad” day. Rather see it as a challenge and tell yourself that this day was the way it was because the way you approached it. That way – no more “bad” days as such. “but by the seeds you plant” – this actually is the fault line of our times: we see “instant gratification” everywhere and TV shows good weather and beautiful people in expensive cars. And these “people” pop up on screen without a history as such – they never seem to have had to plant. Now with student loans ballooning to levels never before seen in history, people actually do not really “plant” – they borrow seeds left right and center.