Eleanor Roosevelt’s Top 7 Fundamentals for Making Life an Exciting and Wonderful Adventure

by Henrik Edberg

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

“A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life, knowing that in this world no one is all knowing and therefore all of us need both love and charity.”

Eleanor Roosevelt was not only the First Lady and wife of U.S president Franklin D. Roosevelt.

In many ways she was a pioneer.

She was the first woman to speak in front of a national convention. The first woman to have a syndicated column and to earn money through lectures. After the death of her husband, she didn’t disappear into obscurity.

Instead she continued her work and she became an American spokesman in the U.N. There she played an important part in creating The Universal Declaration of Human Rights. In a survey by Gallup she is one of the most widely admired people of the last century.

And she is the source of some of my absolute favorite quotes of all time. So in this article I’d like to share 7 of her timeless fundamentals for making life an exciting and wonderful adventure.

1. Look fear in the face.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

If you want to build confidence in yourself then nothing is better than facing your fear and doing something you think you cannot do.

This is of course also something that can be greatly uncomfortable or downright scary too. So people tend to often want to avoid these kinds of situations.

But there is no avoiding them if you want to build your mental strength, just like there is no avoiding spending hours upon hours in the gym or with doing some kind of exercise to build your physical strength.

I have however found a few ways to make it a bit easier to face your fears and to step outside of your comfort zone.

  • Take small steps forward. Too many think they have to face a fear or step out of the comfort zone in great and very uncomfortable leaps. You really don’t in most cases. You can take one small step after another instead. Check out last week’s article for more on that.
  • Be here now when you take action. Spending too much time in the past can create a lot of worries. Spending too much time in imagined future scenarios can create a lot of exaggerated fears. So when you face a fear or step out of the comfort zone try stay in the present moment.
    You can reconnect with the moment right here and now by sitting down and just focusing on your in-breaths and out-breaths for 1-2 minutes right before you step into the scary situation. I have found this to be a very helpful habit in my own life to greatly decrease fear at least for a few minutes.

2. Do the right thing.

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

No matter what you do, some people will have one opinion or another. You can never please everyone so don’t go down that path because it will only lead you to live a life that is unhappier than it needs to be.

Instead, do what you deep down think is the right thing. Besides taking steps towards what you want you’ll also raise your self-esteem and you’ll feel good about yourself. This is terrific combination.

And that raise in self-esteem will over time make you less sensitive to other people’s criticism and make it easier to stand up for yourself and your actions in your own mind even if someone wants to make you feel inferior.

3. Be your own best friend.

“Friendship with ones self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.”

No relationship you’ll ever have will be more important than the one you have with yourself.

Especially since it will not only make you happier and help you to live a fuller life.

It will also have a positive effect on all the other relationships in your life. Because you’ll have more energy and love to give and the people closest to you get to experience the joy of you finding a self-love and expressing yourself more than you have in the past.

So how can you become better friends with yourself this year?

  • Think about three things you can appreciate about yourself. This only takes a minute or less. As you wake up – or if it fits you better to do it before you go to sleep – think of three things you can appreciate about yourself.
    It doesn’t have to be something big. It could just be that you did a good job with a small and everyday thing. Appreciate anything that is positive about you even if it may sometimes just be that you do a thorough job with brushing your teeth.
    Because the point of this is to think kind thoughts about yourself every day so it after a while becomes an automatic habit. This will lead to more and more self-kind thoughts popping up in your mind when you need them the most.
  • When you stumble, take the kinder path.  Instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself: How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? Then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would. It will help you to be more constructive after the first initial pain of a mistake or failure is starting to fade.

4. Focus on the optimism.

“It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.”

“A stumbling block to the pessimist is a stepping-stone to the optimist.”

You will stumble. You will fall. You’ll wind up in situations that may look negative from time to time. No matter what you do. Such is life.

But what you do in such situations makes all the difference. Not just that day or week but even more so in the long run in the coming years and decades of your life.

If you would like to take the optimistic and more constructive path in these situations here are a few practical tips that help me every week:

  • Ask yourself the optimistic questions. Two that work really well for me are: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? And what is one thing can I learn from this situation?
  • Be careful about the input. Destructive messages from the people around you or from media, advertising and society in general does not help you to stay optimistic. So, bit by bit, replace them with other daily and weekly input.
    It could be the encouragement of friends and family and the help from someone close to you who has been in the situation that you are in now. Or practical personal development books and blogs that help you out with real solutions to the challenges you face and the dreams you want to achieve.

5. Spread the happiness.

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.”

Spreading happiness to the other people in your life can be very rewarding.

You feel happier as someone’s face light up with joy. You feel happier because you feel you have done a good thing. And in the long run you tend to be treated by others as you treat them.

But how can you make someone happier in a practical way?

A few ideas:

  • Just listen. Let someone vent and just be fully there and listen for a little while. It can certainly help him or her to release stress and concerns.
  • Encourage. The world can be tough place sometimes. So take a few minutes to encourage someone who is in a negative situation at the moment. Add your own perhaps more grounded and optimistic perspective on the situation and lessen his or her worries and perhaps exaggerated fears.
  • Help out in practical way. If your friend needs some help then ask another friend who has been in that situation for advice. Or do a bit of online research. Making that often pretty small effort can mean a lot.
  • Express your gratitude. It can mean especially much if it is for something the other person values a lot or if it is for something that you and others often may take for granted.

6. Don’t worry so much about other people may think.

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

A lot of people – me included big time in the past – hold themselves back in life because of what other people may think or say. Perhaps because they are afraid that people will laugh or analyze what they said or did for the rest of the week or year.

But that view of life comes from an inaccurate belief. Not from how life is in most cases.

A much more realistic scenario is that the people in your life have their hands full with worrying about their own lives (and what other people may think of them). And with thinking about their kids, a pet, school or work and their partner.

Yes, in your head you may be the most important person in the world.

But in a wider sense of life people tend to have their hand full with their own lives and with being the most important person there.

7. In the end it comes down to what you do with your life.

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

“Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be.”

Positive things will happen. Negative situations will arise. No matter what you do in life.

You cannot control everything. You do not have much influence over some things.

But you can still shape a huge part of your life. Take control over the rudder and sail the ship through obstacles and bad weather. Navigate towards more promising and rewarding destinations.

This may sometimes mean that you have to be patient. That you have to face fears or step outside of your comfort zone. That you have to get to know yourself better and learn how to keep your mental strength and balance and self-esteem in shape.

Along the way you can find help and support from people close to you or not so close to you in the world or even in time.

But in the end and in the long run your life and what you do with it is your responsibility. That responsibility can sometimes feel heavy. But also bring a liberating sense of freedom and of truly taking charge of yourself and what happens in your life.

And if it feels scary from time to time then just focus on taking one small step after another in the direction you want to go.




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{ 48 comments }

Sarah February 5, 2014 at 8:32 pm

This is such a wonderful post! I love all the applicable quotes from someone who was truly inspiring in life and still is in death. More than that, though, I like the not-so-subtle undercurrent of this post, which is that you will get the most out of your life through kindness to yourself and others. Yes, determination and a positive attitude are fantastic assets, but really a life well lived is about appreciating what you have and what you can do if you only try. Your writing is beautiful, Henrik. I really appreciate it.

Henrik Edberg February 7, 2014 at 12:27 pm

Thank you very much, Sarah!

Sandra Pawula February 5, 2014 at 8:37 pm

I knew Eleanor Roosevelt was a great women, but I didn’t have a sense of how deep her wisdom actually ran. Thank you for this illuminating look into such an amazing person whose words can guide us in love and kindness.

Henrik Edberg February 7, 2014 at 12:27 pm

You’re very welcome, Sandra, glad you liked it!

Marisa Van Dyck February 5, 2014 at 8:49 pm

Thank you, Henrik!
As always, a beautiful way to start one´s day and keep in our hearts such wonderful words of wisdom.

A big hug from Guadalajara, Mexico!
Marisa

Henrik Edberg February 7, 2014 at 12:28 pm

You’re very welcome, Marisa! Thank you for the continued support!

Francine February 5, 2014 at 9:00 pm

Ok so I liked all of them! Thanks! Spreading happiness is my life’s mission – giving joy has always been, well, a joy to me. But I will say the first to me is the key. I believe what holds us back is fear, almost out of habit, we feel it and we stop. We don’t examine it or challenge. I personally try to do it as often as I can and see if I can go further and so far so good but it’s an ongoing effort. And usually there’s something interesting behind those things we find scary so always worth the effort.

Henrik Edberg February 7, 2014 at 12:29 pm

Thank you for sharing your own experience, Francine, and I appreciate hearing about your perspective!

MUTEBI DICKSON February 5, 2014 at 9:03 pm

THANK YOU MY GOOD TEACHER, YOUR LESSONS THEY DO NOT ONLY HELP ME BUT MANY OF MY FRIENDS IN AFRICA, CONTINUE AND PRAYING FOR YOU AND THE GOOD RESEARCH

Henrik Edberg February 7, 2014 at 12:30 pm

That is good to hear, thank you!

Zee Southcombe February 5, 2014 at 9:18 pm

Hi! I love getting your articles delivered daily to my inbox – don’t often check into the website, I must admit, but your writing makes me think, reflect and change – which is what it’s all about, right?
Keep up the fantastic work spreading ‘happy vibes’ :-)
Zee xx

Henrik Edberg February 7, 2014 at 12:30 pm

Thanks a lot, will do! :)

Rideon February 5, 2014 at 9:33 pm

What a timely bit of information for me today.
Thank you.

Henrik Edberg February 7, 2014 at 12:30 pm

You’re very welcome!

Stephen Anderson February 5, 2014 at 9:44 pm

Be careful what you allow into your life. I think this is wonderful advice, the world is so full of negativity and sadness and people who want us to feel as bad as they do.

In fact, however, we do not need to accept any thought from anyone at all, negative or positive. Perhaps only to create a springboard from which to build our own ideas, but there is no need to take the absolute word of anyone as being the truth for our own lives.

We each get to choose. And that makes live well worth living.

Henrik Edberg February 7, 2014 at 12:33 pm

Wise thoughts, thank you for sharing them, Stephen!

Larry Hochman February 5, 2014 at 10:08 pm

“Look fear in the face.”

I always liked that one. That’s when you find out you’re stronger than it is.

Great post, Henrik. Always fun reaching back into history for the good stuff. :)

Henrik Edberg February 7, 2014 at 12:33 pm

It sure is. :) Glad you liked it, Larry!

ositsena Igebu February 5, 2014 at 10:57 pm

Nice good to know how a woman was able to be inspiring and brought about human rights.

Anonymous February 5, 2014 at 11:13 pm

Thank you, this made a lot of sense for me in my life right now.

Lori February 5, 2014 at 11:54 pm

Hello Henrik! it is a pleasure to meet you.I definitely need these links and a coarse on these issues.I went through,and still am in a very difficult situation.I have a very sensitive personality type,to begin with.This article has really helped me,and alot of this is definitely thee truth! You need to speak up to people,especially when their being a not to kind person to you,in a assertive way.But you must get your point across.Their is so much for me to tell!I am from Pennsylvania.Thanks,for thee information for now. Lori

Louise Barbier February 6, 2014 at 2:03 am

Thank you for your uplifting comments.

Arthur Da Costa February 6, 2014 at 2:08 am

The article was very, very inspiring. It seems that at times we fail to listen to what others are saying. It is so easy to listen and yet it does wonders and makes us feel better. Again stressing the positive even when situations seem negative can lessen our fears and make our lives much more meaningful.
I admire the way you manage to stay positive and I believe that your attitude is contagious making a lot of negative individuals strive for a more productive and positive approach to life.
What can I say but to keep up the good work!

Art Da Costa

Vladimir Gani February 6, 2014 at 6:33 am

Valuable advices

MD Malik February 6, 2014 at 7:35 am

Hi Henrik
I find this post a very useful and thought provoking rather it is a continuity of your last post. I always enjoyed your practical ideas of life.
Regards and best wishes

Rob February 6, 2014 at 8:30 am

Good stuff! I believe that the nail is hit right on the head with the valuable advice given in this blog. Fear and insecurity cause a ton of social issues in this day and age. People seem to need to spend more time worrying about things not in their power but in “assumed perception” by others. I will begin taking my own baby steps using multiple ideas provided by this blog starting ASAP! Thanks for making this info available! Rob

Sheila February 6, 2014 at 8:57 am

Wow! This is a wonderful message. I feel renewed by it. I especially like tgw second quote at the beginning.

Ravi Patil February 6, 2014 at 10:19 am

I enjoyed this article and was really inspired by the quotes you shared. Thanks a lot for sharing such a valuable knowledge. Please keep sharing…..
Thanks a lot …..

Regards,

Ravi

S. Sridharan February 6, 2014 at 10:36 am

Dear:

Seen the article and it is very nice.

Regards.

S. Sridharan
Chennai, INDIA.

Keerthi Ganesh February 6, 2014 at 11:26 am

Excellent lines Henrik :)

dewi hikmah February 6, 2014 at 12:25 pm

good lesson to be a next leader
.
http://www.bijakkata.com

Jeremy February 7, 2014 at 3:14 am

Henrik,

As always, I enjoyed the read, and I always feel uplifted by your work.

I enjoyed the quote shared for # 5, “share the happiness,” and this is something that I make a focus in my life.

There is enough negativity and cynicism in the world, and I make it a point to combat this, thought it may be in a small way, by treating all people I come into contact with kindness and compassion in the hope that they do the same. Ultimately, I hope that treating others in this way can help to make others feel better about themselves.

A specific way that I do this is through recognizing what others do well and the unique things about them. A compliment can go a long way in making someone’s day, and some of my best day’s have been the result of the kind words of others.

Thanks again for the uplift!

Sincerely,

Jeremy

Imelda February 7, 2014 at 4:47 pm

Tnx for writing such encouraging words. We tend to forget sometimes. I really enjoy reading your articles. Very. Motivating. Hope i can do something with my life. Tnku for writing.

Jodi February 7, 2014 at 11:55 pm

Enjoyed the part about always worrying about what people think of you.I have always worried about the thoughts of my family of me.Always trying to please. It has held me back from many accomplishments that I wanted to do. Feeling guilty. I just bought my first house,and of course my first thought was what is my family thinking behind my back.My thoughts make me feel guilty,not worthy of bettering myself,not able to enjoy the excitement I should be feeling because of wondering what they are really thinking.So this is my hurdle I am trying to get over. Thank you for posting,to remind me, “I don’t care what other people say or think of me, it’s none of my business anyway”!!

Jessica February 8, 2014 at 7:45 am

This was exactly what I needed to be told. Thank you so much Henrik! This really hit the spot :-)

Jeffrey February 8, 2014 at 4:28 pm

Hi Henrik,

Love your point made on “Look fear in the face.” That is the best action you can take to conquer your lifetime fear be it afraid of snakes, scare of success, even scare to fail and etc…

How many times we hear that people fear about anything and never do anything about it. I once had this problem of not enough money to settle my debts i’ve managed to accumulate. It was eating me up. I can’t sleep properly and do the things that i love doing. It was disrupting and held me ransom for a long time.

It took me lot of soul searching before i dare myself to face my problems. What was the plan? I saw that my debt was not as bad as it is when i finally sit down and list all of it. Then, i managed to come up with a plan to settle my debts within a grace period. I talk to the bank officers and made a proposal to pay back. Hey, it was such a huge relief when i made the huge decision to face my fear.

That was the best decision that i made in life.

Thank you, Henrik for this beautiful and inspiration post.

masoud February 8, 2014 at 7:17 pm

tnx
very impressive
i really need it in this moment

TOM February 9, 2014 at 3:27 am

God bless you real good for sharing.Keep it up

Samantha Studebaker-Carl February 10, 2014 at 6:38 pm

“Be your own best friend!”
I love that!
I wanted to add to that one though…
Forgive Yourself.
Sometimes it’s hard to be your own best friend if you are constantly upset about decisions you’ve made, actions you’ve taken (or not taken), and times when you’ve let yourself down.
Tell yourself “It’s Ok. I forgive you. I love you.”
Everyone makes mistakes and bad choices. We aren’t perfect, and that’s ok.
We all do the best we can with what we have, from where we are.
Remember that, and forgive YOU.
You are beautiful, wonderful, and awesome.
Go forth, and BE Amazing!

George February 10, 2014 at 8:21 pm

Loved this post and am a huge fan of quotes from Eleanor!

I believe that fear is our most powerful ally, since that if you truly fear something it means a lot to you. I think we should all do the things we are most afraid to do, we really learn who we are during those moments.

Also I liked your part about taking things slowly, and small steps forwards. Anytime I give someone advice I always repeat to them ‘baby steps’. You aren’t going to get there today or tomorrow, you just have to keep inching your way towards where you want to be.

Scott Bradshaw February 11, 2014 at 1:35 am

Talk about something that comes to you right when you need it. Wham!! There it is. Thanks so much. This was exactly what I needed – facing my own fears, but I have to ‘slay that dragon’ for me to survive. Not just to succeed, not anymore, but to survive. Thanks for outline, the path, and the encouraging words!

Bastiaan / Want2discover February 11, 2014 at 8:30 am

Hello Henrik,

I really enjoyed reading this article. She is a very inspiring person. I especially liked the point about not worrying too much about what other people think.

I used to worry too much about this and it really holds you back from happiness and from being yourself. I used to walk on the street, constantly thinking about what others would think of me. A few years ago I decided to challenge this and stop worrying about it. It really helped me to become a much happier person. Now I am happy with myself, I am more assertive and don’t care about what other people might think of me (except the ones that are really close to me of course).

Thanks for this, very inspiring. My girlfriend and I just started a blog on Self Development & blogging and your blog is a great inspiration for us. You can check it out if you want!

Dan Erickson February 12, 2014 at 6:13 am

Great post. I like each point, but especially like Look Fear In The Face. That’s key. Thanks.

Rajesh Bajaj February 14, 2014 at 7:47 am

wonderful & inspirational content.An appreciable endeavour to light wick of optimism and love for life.

Rajesh Bajaj
Chandigarh,India

newton February 14, 2014 at 8:29 am

henrik……that’s just master piece….have just loved them……you have done something new in my heart

Egle February 17, 2014 at 2:25 pm

Awesome blog! I really enjoyed it, one of the best you’ve ever written:)

Jill Waterfall February 18, 2014 at 9:19 pm

I think Eleanor Roosevelt was the best First Lady of the United States. She was so much more than the wife of a president, a real woman on so many levels. She had six children to take care of while being among the first women that had to put up with such media pressure.
You’ve made a great selection, Eleanor was a woman that had a lot to share with this world, her wisdom and serenity go beyond words.
Thank you for sharing this.

hida February 20, 2014 at 7:50 am

Hi, greeting from Indonesia! Thank you for sharing the wisdom.. Those words are really empowering!

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