“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”
“Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own”
Personal development books, blogs and videos can be a wonderful resource to help you improve your life. Over the last few years I have learned a couple of things that helped me to make better use of that information to get actual results in my life.
I would like to share those things today.
1. Use your own common sense.
It’s easy to be drawn into thinking that gurus or teachers know everything. But a book or blog can’t know or understand exactly what you dream about and all the positive and negative experiences you have been through. No one can know you better than you know yourself.
So it is important to use your own common sense with any advice you are given. Sometimes it may mean that you rely on what someone knows and so you take a leap of faith. Sometimes it may mean that you recognize that something does not live up to the grandiose hype but still has useful things to offer. Sometimes it may mean to dismiss something because it just doesn’t sound right.
Friends and family that aren’t that into personal development can be a voice of common sense. They can ground you if you become a little too lost in theories. So listen to them. But of course, use your common sense here too. Be the highest authority in your own life.
2. Find what fits you, let go of the rest.
There is a lot of advice floating around. I recommend using the advice from Bruce Lee at the start of this article and finding what works and fits you the best. And then you can let go of the other stuff that you have tried.
You may for example find an article with 25 procrastination hacks. Knowing them all will just make you confused. Find the ones that worked the best for you. I personally only use three or four strategies when I get struck in procrastination and want to get moving again.
3. Know that it’s the doing and experience that really changes you.
Don’t over think it. Do it.
Don’t hang around on blogs or online forums all day. Use the free time you have for experiences, no matter how small they are. Because you gain experience, confidence in yourself and real results by doing things. Not by over reading or having endless theoretical discussions.
4. Don’t think that it has to be complicated.
When you have a problem that feels big or have been there for a long time then it’s easy to think that you need a complicated solution. And that your problem is really complicated.
By actually doing things, failing and learning you need to expose yourself to pain and discomfort. By overcomplicating things and over thinking them you can create a helpful excuse to not take action.
By making things more complicated than they need to be you can also make them feel very important. And since you are involved in these important things, well, then you have to be important too, right?
This way of going about things can make you feel good or OK in a strange kind of way. It also stops you from making progress.
One simple way to feel more positive and reduce negative thoughts and inner tension is for example to work out a couple of times each week. A very simple activity with many positive benefits. One simple way of freeing up more time is to set time-limits for activities and to stop doing the irrelevant stuff. Don’t dismiss solutions just because they sound too simple.
Also, one tip is to look at what other people who are doing what you want to achieve do. It may not be the answer you are looking for or want – because it is not an easy magic pill or some secret supercomplicated solution – but it is simply what actually works.
5. Be patient.
I think it took me four tries to establish a workout routine that stuck. It is common to have to start things over a few times before they really stick.
So things may take longer than you hoped for. Life is most often messier than the plan you had. Don’t let that stop you. Be patient, learn from your mistakes and keep moving.
6. If you have a really serious problem, seek professional help.
There is a difference between getting a bit nervous before a meeting at work or a date and having a big panic attack and feeling like you can’t breathe or are about to faint.
If you have a serious problem, then please seek professional help. A book or blog can only go so far. The advice on this blog is for small or medium sized problems (at least as I experience it). If you have a really bad problem then the advice here or on other blog or in books may still help you a bit.
But still believe that best option in such situations is to seek professional help. Perhaps one on one counseling with someone with vast experience, someone that comes highly recommended.