This point touched a cord – When I had joined as a newbee in an organization, another department head was criticizing us youngsters – about work ethics, skills and what not.

I asked him 3 questions:

1) Sir, when you were young, your bosses got out the best work from you – and quite a few must have been novices with little work knowledge or rebellious too.
2) You blame us youngsters for not being upto mark.
3) You are our bosses – so who do you think is to blame?

It was my immediate boss who saved my skin that day – he was a great person, a great boss, and not because he saved my skin.

I have tried to remember this when I deal with newcomers today – I have criticized their mistakes – but not them personally.

I’d summarize the two most important points as 1) don’t be disempowered by criticism (use it if it’s useful, discard if not) and 2) don’t disempower others with your criticism of them.

And thanks to Chris on “grounding out.” Never heard of that before, and it sounds very useful. Regards, Dorothy

Iza: That is true. If the criticiser is right (and also if several people may point out the same thing to you) it is very helpful to listen and try to correct the problem. I agree, the article may be a little light on the aspect you point out although I mention it in the beginning of the article. And also in tip # 3 which is what I try to use to be able to listen to criticism without getting too blocked by negative emotions.

Martin: That is also very true. Thanks for adding that aspect to the article.

Just thinking about the woodcutters in the boondocks (virgin woods) – to give an example. If unhealthy behaviour is not criticized it is more likely to continue. Sure, there should be some doers that stop those people – but hell, are we talking of war then?

There are a lot of unhealthy actions that do produce other unhealthy actions on and on and on. The doers are not always those to honor.