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4 Good Reasons to Stop Thinking the World Revolves Around You

4 Good Reasons to Stop Thinking the World Revolves Around You
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Idea-Listic(is off into the great beyond) (license).

One great way to make your life unnecessarily hard and difficult is to assume that the world revolves around you.

Sure, such a belief is seductive in the way that it makes you someone who must be very important. If everyone is looking at you and talking about you all the time then that feeds the ego.

The ego wants to play the comparison game. So you may identify with a position where you are more than someone else. It may be that you are prettier than someone else. But it may also be something like you thinking you are stupider or uglier than someone else. As long as you are more than someone in some way the ego gets fed.

This belief about how the world revolves around you may be based partly in how when you are young the world kinda revolves around you. Your parents, siblings and a lot of grown ups are tending to your needs and whims all the time. However, now that we are adults such beliefs can become limiting.

Thinking that the world revolves around you doesn’t just mean that someone is behaving like an annoying, spoiled brat. It can be much more subtle than that. For me this has been about sitting down and really thinking about it and my reactions to different things in everyday life. You may find it useful to do the same. This belief can be a bit sneaky.

But why should you give it up though? Well, here are four good reasons that I use for motivation.

1. Decreased shyness.

Everyone may not agree with me here. But from my own personal experience with being shy it does to a large part come from a belief that people care a great deal about what you are about to say or do. Perhaps you are afraid that people will laugh or analyze what you said/did for the rest of the week.

Well, guess what. People have their own lives. I’m not saying that people closest to you doesn’t care about you. But that people mostly may think about you for a few minutes. Then they return to their lives. People have their challenges at home, at work, with the economy and so on. Yes, in your head you may be the most important person in the world. But don’t project that onto other people. Because in their world the most important person is probably them or their kid(s).

Now, the thing here is that people tend to care if you care though. Emotions are contagious. So if you feel nervous or act that way people will feel it too. If you don’t care then they won’t usually care that much either. Your new belief – that it’s not all about you – makes you less self-concious. You become less shy. And people will sense less of those negative feelings coming from you too.

2. You become more open to try new things.

Well, this is an off-shot to the previous point I guess. When you give up the belief that it’s all about you experience a bigger social freedom since you know that feeling constrained by how people may react is just to a large part an illusion.

Trying new things is of course not only fun and a great way to grow. It will also provide you with proof that people don’t really care that much as you try something you may think will bring out a negative reaction from your surroundings. And then you are met by feedback like the disinterested “oh, that’s nice” or the eager questions from curious friends/co-workers/family.

3. It makes it easier to deal with criticism and negativity from other people.

If someone makes a personal attack or just let the destructive words flow then remember that criticism isn’t always about you. Criticism is a way for the one critiquing to release pent up anger, frustration or jealousy. Or a way to reinforce that his/her viewpoint or belief is the right one. Or s/he may have habit of getting others involved emotionally – baiting them – to build a negative spiral, an argument/fight or to get attention. It’s about him/her. Not about something you did.

It can have a calming effect to remember this.

4. It makes you more open and understanding towards others.

This is surely one of the best benefits of realizing that you are perhaps not the centre of the universe. It’s very easy to misinterpret people when you are stuck in that old mindset. You get some criticism and you think: “wow, I suck”. While it may be about the other person being human and having a bad day or week.

Let’s say that the waitress at a café is very rude. You may take this personally and get angry or irritated for the rest of the afternoon. Or feel like you are having a bad day and get down about yourself. But perhaps it wasn’t about you? Maybe she’s worried about her job. Maybe she is going through a divorce. Maybe her dog was run over yesterday.

You just don’t know what is going on in her life.

When you stop thinking that it all revolves around you experience a larger openness and instead of going into a powerful negative reaction when someone does something you are more understanding. Yes, reacting negatively gives you a temporary emotional rush as you feel right and poorly treated by the waitress. It’s the ego popping up again.

However, personally I don’t think that short emotional boost is worth it since it’s always followed by negative thought loops and emotions going around and around in your mind and body. Being open and understanding can be harder. But it makes you and your normal day much more pleasant.

How to put a stop to this belief

I don’t have many fancy tips on how to replace your old belief with your new one.

Just keep in mind that it’s not all about you as much as you can in your daily life. Make it a mental habit by reinforcing it. A written reminder here and there in your daily environment – such as post-it notes on your computer and bathroom mirror – can be very helpful.

The more you view the world through your new belief and get proof from experiences in your life the more comfortable you’ll be with the belief. The physical proof in your world solidifies the belief and “makes it real” to you. Instead of something you may have read on some blog.

You can also try acting as you would like to feel when you feel self-conscious and like everyone’s attention is focused on you. In such situation or on such days act as if the world doesn’t revolve around you and people don’t care that much about what you do. After a while and after taking action you will actually start to feel that way for real. It’s a way to jump-start yourself in your daily life and lead yourself onto a more helpful mental track.

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  • Melissa October 30, 2008, 4:20 pm

    You make a very interesting and necessary point in this article. As people are becoming more aware of how they manifest their own reality due to The Secret and other teachings, they are also getting very confused about their place in the world. It can be all to easy to fall into a trap of believing that because you manifest your reality, everything that goes on the world is because of you.

    I think the tightrope we need to walk is to realize that we manifest OUR reality, meanwhile all of the other beings around us are manifesting THEIR reality. You are not the center of anyone else’s universe, except maybe your spouse’s if you are really lucky, LOL. Seriously though, everyone is not staring at you or thinking about you or judging you :-) So get out there and do your thing!

  • Confident Nerd October 30, 2008, 8:24 pm

    If the world doesn’t revolve around me, then who does it revolve around :)

  • Sean October 30, 2008, 11:28 pm

    Whaddaya mean the world doesn’t revolve around me?

    Since when??

    Do you know who I am? :P

    Seriously, decreased shyness is reason enough to stop thinking that way.

  • Vincent October 31, 2008, 5:49 am

    Hi Henrik,

    If we are thinking about the world revolves around us, it means that we think that we are important. Yet being important is just a feeling that doesn’t hold much truth to it. Example: Jack is an important director at the company and suddenly he was hospitalized for 6 months. So what will happen to the company? The company still functions as normal and maybe with some small hiccups along the way, but it would still function and maybe even someone will step in and take over Jack’s position. The sun still rise whether Jack is important or not.

    Cheers
    Vincent
    Personal Development Blogger

  • johnlazy October 31, 2008, 6:54 am

    Still i think that the world revolves around me literally. If you want to go out in the world and do what you want, just do it! you dont need a deep thinking just do it and just care for others because it will make you better.

  • Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome October 31, 2008, 9:57 am

    It’s so very easy to fall into the world-revolves-around-me trap because really the world only exists for ourselves. From within the confinement of our perceptions, we only know our thoughts, see our visions, hear our sounds, etc…

    Communication helps break through the barriers, but it’s very easy to take other people’s words and use our personal me-centred dictionaries to interpret them.

    I’ve also noticed a lot of people who have no sense of personal space – they bang into you on the street and then get offended that you exist – that you’ve shocked them out of their own world.

    Human beings by nature live in their own little worlds. It takes a great deal of effort and practice to bridge the void between these worlds and unfortunately many of us can’t be bothered… (Fortunately many do make the effort.)

  • savings October 31, 2008, 10:06 pm

    Better ask why do you think the world revolves around you?Can you please tell me who it revolves other than me. Seriously If I seize to exist today, the world would be one person down. Not that it does make much difference like Vincent said but better feel being an asset than a possession.

    Mon

  • Kevin November 1, 2008, 6:36 am

    I think I have this bad frame of mind. Because of it, I am nervous to stand out in public, by asking a question in a big class or taking a leadership role.

    • Anonymous August 16, 2010, 10:20 am

      dude i was the same way or i am lol

  • Vik Dulat November 1, 2008, 5:24 pm

    Great post. I couldn’t agree with you more. My motto is that live life like no one is watching you and you shouldn’t really care in the first place what someone things about you.

  • Chase Barfield November 2, 2008, 7:25 pm

    Henrik – as to how to supplant your current belief with a new one, as it pertains to your article, is to take an interest in those around you. When you are talking to someone else, listen to them and ask questions that draw out more detail.

    Also, in the beginning of your metamorphosis, put on the blinders. Focus on things in your life as opposed to yourself. When emphasis is put on others and other things, you will focus less on self thereby being less self conscience.

  • san smith November 6, 2008, 11:11 pm

    excellent advice!

  • Anonymous June 13, 2009, 5:28 pm

    Oh I have so often been accused of thinking the world revolves around me. And I do. My beliefs are right, my ways of doing things are soo right, i am better, a harder worker, more moral, more refined, more sophisticated, thinner, sexier and more beautiful. And everyone else is like on a rung below me. No wonder I have been called, self-absorbed, conceited and a snob. This aspect of our human nature is so deceptive! and i certainly want to shake it.
    the bottom line is that we all want to make sense of the world we live in. Maybe this mindset gets a grip more strongly in some, rather than other,s when we set ourselves as the point of reference when everything else around us is confusing… so i’m guessing that this “i’m fabulous “mindset may be more prominent in people with the most insecurities.. there i go thinking i’m right again!! trying to make scene of my world!!

    As much as i believe that i’m so fab, there is a dark down side! i feel so self-conscious – like the world revolves around me. Like Kevin said above, he finds it hard to talk in public or be a leader. I always feel that people are either admiring me or critiquing me, never just accepting me. So i expend all my energy trying to be the best, to be admired. What an ego!! And if i’m not feeling the best – i feel the Worst!! How ridiculous. Wouldn’t it be so much better to just be what ever i am and to forget about the scale.. yet to constantly strive to be the best and do what is right… we don’t want an excuse for laziness and low standards here!!

    So.. what to do and how to conquer this beast.. Maybe the answer is in realizing that
    1. this is human nature – but like potty-training, we have to learn to control it
    2. i am oh-so important, and so is everyone else.
    2. i should consider things from another’s or another point of view and
    3. there is more than one right answer.

    We are all amazing and fabulous. We should value ourselves for the wonderful creation we are. And we are all equal, we come into the world the same way, we leave it in the same way, we want the same things – to be happy, to love and be loved. So why don’t we just accept this and get on with it!! We are important, just like everyone else.

  • Anonymous June 14, 2009, 10:27 pm

    the wold does revolve around me. and your world revolves around you. be nice to your world and it will be nice to u. approach your world with sincerity and it will reward you.