“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
Anthony Robbins
Your mind like answers. It seems like whatever you ask it, it will find answers for.
So it becomes very important to ask yourself the right questions. Questions that will help you out rather than just make you feel more miserable and helpless.
I have already written a bit about this and listed some of my favourite questions.
Questions like: “What’s awesome about this?” and “Will this matter 5 years from now?”
Another favourite goes something like this: “What would X do?” X being whoever inspiring figure you want it to be. It’s a great way to shift perspective in a situation and find a more useful frame of mind.
For example, the non-conformist and rebel might ask: “What would Tyler Durden do?”
Me, I like Winnie the Pooh.
What would Winnie the Pooh do?
Let’s say I feel closed up, tense and kinda whiny. It’s not a helpful frame of mind.
Let’s think about Winnie the Pooh for a minute. He is warm and open. Relaxed. Centred. He doesn’t cling to the past or the future but is happy to live in the now. In fact, it doesn’t seem like he’s thinking that much at all.
Now, this might seem like a sorta stupid bear. But that’s mostly coming from a perspective where someone is a bit too identified with their own smartness. It’s often better to not think so much and let thoughts and actions naturally arise within you – much like a tennis player out on the court - if you want to get things done and be happy.
Now, back to me. As I feel like a not so good version of myself I often still remember that I can turn that around. Like everything else, it’s just temporary.
So I ask myself: “What would Winnie the Pooh do?”
That focuses my mind on all the positive things I associate with honey loving bear. And so I start to think different things. My mind comes up with more helpful answers. Asking yourself a question like this one is a way to activate and remember the “better parts” of yourself. To snap yourself out of an unproductive and negative emotional state and frame of mind.
I find this question to be especially helpful in social situations.
On side note, many of the common and less productive emotional states and frames of mind can be found in the Hundred Acre Woods. Rabbit is very identified with his mind and thinks he’s very smart. He’s a bit of an overthinker. Piglet is very kind and seems to want to be brave. But he’s filled with self-doubt. And well, Ior, he’s just totally locked in into a negative frame of mind no matter what happens.
Now, here are few others of my favourite what would… people.
What would Jason Bourne do?
No, the Bourne frame of mind isn’t about putting your car in reverse and going off rooftops.
It is about putting a stop to thinking and allowing yourself to work with what you already know. As I said about Pooh, you allow the right action to arise from within rather than think a lot about it. You have trust in yourself and your experience.
This is what Jason Bourne does a lot of the time up on the movie/TV-screen. He does what he’s learned, he let’s his body and subconscious do most of the doing. A lot of thinking would only hold him back.
Now, thinking has its place. But to be wrapped up in it all the time often leads to much doubts within and little actually getting done. The thing is, you know what to do most of the time already. Don’t put up obstacles in your own way.
This question is most helpful when you just want to get things done.
What would Eckhart Tolle do?
As you may know, Eckhart Tolle is one of my favourite personal development writers.
He is very much about living in the present moment and having an accepting frame of mind.
I have found that this question is most helpful when you feel angry and frustrated. Or getting your mind stuck in past or future scenarios. Or when you have a lot of conflict within, when you are dividing up the world and feel like you are right and someone else is wrong.
Asking that question can help me to flip the perspective around to a more useful one a lot of the time.
And when that doesn’t work, listening to one of his audiobooks for 10 minutes usually does the trick. Emotions are contagious. Even stillness within. To learn more about his views on things and be able to use this question, I recommend the audiobook Stillness Speaks. It’s a short book that quickly gets to the point. I prefer the audiobook version - you can get it in treeform too - because Tolle’s voice provides a larger emotional impact and a stronger connection than just words on paper.
Asking yourself questions like these are ways to reconnect with “better parts” of yourself. It can also be a way to find new perspectives and different ways to act compared to what you might normally do. It’s a helpful tool that ties together with what I wrote last week about acting as you would like to feel.
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Henrik - Wonderful quote by Anthony Robbins. He is one of my favorite people and he helped in the shaping of who I am today.
I love the Winnie The Pooh analogy. If your readers would take a moment and ponder…when was the last time something truly inspirational or innovative came to their mind? I bet it was when they were relaxed like Pooh rather than stressed like Rabbit, scared like Piglet, or tired and depressed like Eeyore.
What would Pooh do…great stuff Henrik!
The Winnie the Pooh reference reminds me of the Tao of Pooh… which talks in depth about that concept, like how Pooh is very much in the here and now and doesn’t tend to dwell on unnecessary details and is happier for it. It’s a great read for anyone who needs to slow down and learn to turn off their meddlesome brains.
Thank you, Chase! Good point, creativity flows better when you´re like Pooh.
Jenni: Yes, I read that book and the book about Piglet about 10 years ago. Can´t remember much from them now, but after I started to read about being present, identification with thought etc. my thoughts often came back to Pooh and his friends. Maybe I should revisit those books.
Great post Henrik, on one of my favourite topics. A spin on this is to pick a person/character who you most DON’T want to be like: by asking yourself what they would do, it also gives you something to AVOID doing. A bit of a negative outlook, but sometimes knowing what you don’t want is as useful as knowing what you do want.
Regards,
Andy Peacock
Thanks a bunch, Andrew. That’s an interesting twist on the same topic that could provide helpful insights.
Ok, this is totally off topic but… WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A SEARCH BOX ANYWHERE ? I trying to find something here that I read some time back…
great post!!
although i can’t help but feel that i naturally connect to Rabbit more than Pooh. brain works too much, i guess. 
i loved andrew’s idea of also having a negative or “do-not” character. great approach, andrew!
eternalvoyageur: It got lost yesterday as my sidebars decided to wreck themselves a bit. It’s up again, in the right sidebar.
Ashvin: Thanks a lot! And yeah, I think it’s common to naturally connect more with Rabbit than Pooh.
I often write about the Hundred Acre Woods characters - they had a profound impact on my childhood and I identify highly with Tigger (and sometimes Piglet when I’m being all wallowing).
Thanks for mentioning Eckhart Tolle. I didn’t know that guy but I like it how although he is speaking slowly in his short talks he comes to the point anyway. And one keeps that in mind more than other guys talking fast for 50 minutes.
Martin: That’s very true. I like how he keeps it simple and gets to the point quickly. You may enjoy this 4 minute clip with him if you haven’t already seen it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oceFB3xYSo&feature=related
No, I didn’t see that although I watched several videos of him. Thanks a lot!
I did now watch a few of his videos and it was a great help for the day - see http://1-2-solved.blogspot.com/2008/09/in-present-moment.html - thanks again.
Such a creative idea. Great! Thank you
I just had to post because of the Bourne analogy. I’m a grad student, and as part of my training, I get to visit random elementary schools and take data on the behaviors of kids in particular kindergarten classes.
Anyway, it can be somewhat nervewracking to approach a brand new school without much more than the names of the teachers and pictures of the kids. So the other day, as I stepped out of my car, I asked myself how someone like Bourne would handle this. He’d likely be calm, cool, and collected. He’d be efficient–asking the secretary for directions instead of wandering lost around the school. He’d be professional–doing what he needed to do instead of asking why, why, why.
I just kept this in mind for a few seconds, and, looking back, I didn’t really have any problems that day. Then I wandered by this afternoon and saw this post, which reminded me of just what I’d tried the other day. So yeah…it can be a great help to simply think of how a character you’re intrigued by would handle a difficult situation you find yourself facing.