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The Top 10 Traits for Lifelong Fulfillment

The Top 10 Traits for Lifelong Fulfillment
Image by Ann Marie (license).

Note: This is guest post by Anand Dhillon of www.AnandDhillon.com – Self-Help for Self-Mastery.

1. Taking full responsibility

You realize that your life is your own creation. You are not a victim.  Anything you want in life, you appreciate that you are the one who is going to create it.  You don’t wait for things to happen for you, you go out and make things happen.

When something negative happens in your life, you know that you had a part in creating it.  Instead of blaming or justifying, you quickly go about setting things the way you want them.   You know that refusing to take responsibility just robs you of your power.    

2. Intense action orientation

You are not a spectator in the game of life.  You get on the field and take massive action.  You like the ready, fire, aim approach.  Every action you take provides you with distinctions that improve your ability to function in the world.

You know that all great successes come from massive action.  You do not shy away from doing the hard work. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: you thrive on it.

3. Acting in spite of fear

You know that there are times when you are going to be scared.  The thing is: you no longer care.  Fear does not have the ability to stop you.  You realize that most of your fears are just remnants of old conditioning that no longer serves you. Instead of fear stopping you in your tracks, it becomes just a minor annoyance.

You use fear as an action signal that just tells you to be well prepared.  You do everything you can to do so and beyond that, fear is of little concern to you. 

4. Trust in yourself

Through your life experience, you have developed an unshakable trust in your own abilities.  You seek the counsel of experts when needed but ultimately rely on yourself to make the final call. 

As you experience different situations and challenges, you continually refine your view of the world and make distinctions that train your judgment.

When there is a conflict between choosing to follow another person’s advice and trusting in yourself, you always go with your own judgment.  Sometimes you are wrong and you deal with the consequences.  It is more important to you to cultivate the attitude of self-reliance.  You realize that you have to live with yourself for decades and the ability the trust in yourself is of the utmost importance.

5. Welcoming failure

Failure has become your friend. Some of life’s biggest lessons have come to you when you have failed. Each time you move forth into a new endeavour, success and failure are both acceptable options. With success you get you want and with failure you get to learn something.

Failure also makes you stronger. You use failure to help trust yourself (#4) and master your emotions (#8). Every failure is a brick in your palace.

6. Commitment to growth

You never sit back and say,” I’ve arrived.”  Instead, you take on the view that it isn’t your position that matters, it is your direction.  You are on a path of consistent growth.  You don’t slow down, become comfortable and get complacent.  You are always on the lookout for new challenges.

For you, personal development isn’t about getting somewhere it’s about living a fulfilling life.  The lifestyle of self improvement is something that’s a means to an end, it’s something valuable in and of itself.

7. Win-Win thinking

You no longer live in the dichotomy of being selfish or being selfless.  You find a way to make the two congruent.  You recognize that hurting others for your personal gain actually hurts you in the long run.  You also know that continually self-sacrifice limits your capacity to serve others.  You have found the sweet spot where the more you are able to help others, the more you benefit yourself and the more you gain personally, the more you can contribute.

You are creative and resourceful, finding ways for all parties to benefit.  You refuse to do harm someone else just for your own benefit.  You also will not harm yourself just so someone else can benefit.  You seek only agreements that lead to mutual fulfillment.

8. Emotional mastery

You recognize that as a human being, you are an emotional creature.  While most others are run by unconscious emotional patterns, you have taken conscious control of your emotions.  You realize that you experience that which you consistently put your focus on.  You can experience joy by choosing to focus on joy.

You have made the distinction that there is great power in emotion and you use it to your advantage.  You take massive action because of the intense motivation and drive you are able to create in yourself.

You are able to see the value in your negative emotions you have.  You no longer fear them – rather you welcome them.  You know that they carry an empowering message for you if you are just willing to hear it.

9. Full engagement

Though you may play several different roles during the day, you only do one thing at a time.  You are present to your current experience.  The task in front of you is your whole world.  You recruit all of your faculties to complete it with the greatest effectiveness and efficiency.

When working, you are only working.
Your mind does not travel from situation to situation.
You are not thinking about your life at home or your weekend activities.

When relaxing, work is the last thing on your mind.  You are completely enjoying your time off. You recognize that the quality of your life is the quality of each and every of your present moment experiences. You are fully engaged.

10. Long term perspective

You are committed to a grand vision and purpose for your life. You are not swayed by short term urgencies.  While many others are thinking only days and weeks ahead, you are looking years and decades forward.

You use your long term vision to shape your present moment decisions. Your vision gives congruency to all of your behaviours. You live life with a greater clarity, knowing exactly what it is what you want. As a result, everything you do works together synergistically to propel you forward.

Anand Dhillon blogs about personal development at www.AnandDhillon.com – Self-Help for Self-Mastery. For more from Anand, read about some of the benefits of reading: 50 Reasons to Read More.

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • lousy August 5, 2008, 9:57 pm

    Very true, but now I feel even more like a looser than before.

  • Shanel Yang August 5, 2008, 10:24 pm

    Excellent points — all of them! Definitely the secrets to success!

  • Glen Allsopp August 5, 2008, 11:30 pm

    Great guest post, I love the point of ‘trusting in yourself’. If you believe in something strongly and have the passion to follow through with it I believe you can help create fulfillment.

    Cheers,
    Glen

  • Laura August 6, 2008, 3:43 am

    Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to hear right now. This is inspiring. Lousy, I think you’re missing the whole point: you can turn things around at any time by employing these strategies.

  • Anonymous August 6, 2008, 4:24 am

    This is absolutely awesome. I am going to commit this to memory.

  • Elisabeth August 6, 2008, 8:06 am

    Sums it up perfectly! Thanks for the great article.

    I’ll post a link to it on my blog so I can find it again easily (and my readers too!). In fact, I might print it out and put it on the fridge.

    I think the full engagement can be a real challenge in this time of multi-tasking and too many deadlines. But it’s so important to do it anyway (same as with “feel the fear”) — and helpful.

    Welcome failure… can’t say I’m at the welcoming stage yet, but at least I’ve learned not to beat myself up over it (too often anyway).

    Thanks!

    Elisabeth
    http://www.myfavoriteselfhelpstuff.com

  • Laurie | Express Yourself to Success August 6, 2008, 2:39 pm

    Great list. My personal favourite is ‘take full responsibility.’ Once I do that, all the other points fall into place.

  • janelle August 6, 2008, 2:55 pm

    great points- especially #5! Thank you so much :)

  • Eric August 6, 2008, 4:28 pm

    I think the important factor here is that many of these traits are future-oriented. Commitment to growth, full engagement, and long term perspective all focus on some sort of recognition of the future. Fulfillment is never short-sighted, so it makes sense that many of the top ten traits focus on looking forward and acknowledging that something, whatever that might be, is coming next.

  • Jenna August 6, 2008, 5:29 pm

    Awesome post! I love the image too! This is definitely something I needed to read!

  • Anand Dhillon August 6, 2008, 6:56 pm

    Thanks for posting the article, Henrik. I hope your readers enjoy it.

  • Thanks August 7, 2008, 12:22 am

    Thank you! It was great reading….

  • Michael Miles August 7, 2008, 4:27 pm

    Excellent stuff – I would add ‘go with the flow. Don’t fight against the tide.’

  • etavitom August 7, 2008, 8:27 pm

    truly profound posting!! thank you very much.

  • Expansion August 8, 2008, 1:56 am

    awesome. i resonate so much with this at the moment. awesome.

  • Kevin H August 10, 2008, 4:32 am

    Top three out of the ten for me would be:

    Trust in yourself
    Acting in spite of fear
    Full Engagement

  • Inspiration for Change August 10, 2008, 5:59 am

    An inspirational post, keep up the good work!

  • Candace August 16, 2008, 7:52 pm

    Thanx for the uplifting post–really needed to hear these steps today. I’m feeling bogged down and stuck. The key for me is not to blame others and have all of that negative energy holding me back, but to become self reliant, own my power and move forward with it.
    I live with an over achiever husband and am constantly comparing myself to him and coming up short–this is a big reason why I’m feeling stuck. We’re all different and his way isn’t my way. In order to find MY OWN way following these steps will help me move forward in the right direction.

  • Kris August 18, 2008, 12:43 am

    I like “act in spite of fear.” We often get ourselves into trouble by letting fear run our lives.

    Personally, #10 is good for me too, “the long-term perspective.” It helps me keep from being anxious and impatient. It makes the journey of life so much more enjoyable!

  • Nickie T February 1, 2010, 3:32 am

    This article has something valuable and encouraging to say to all of us. Thank you! I only wish that someone had proofread it a few more times before posting.