Comments on: One Easy Way to Give More Effective Criticism

By: Garrison

Garrison — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 09:59:36 +0000

I know deep down that if I make people feel valuable they will see my input as having value. But in that moment when they are just hands-down, across-the-board dead wrong, I sometimes can’t stop myself from letting them know how incredibly wrong they are. When that happens, my ability to influence them vaporizes on the spot, and I’m left dealing with the response I created by making them wrong.

I think this is the most consistently counterproductive thing we do in business and, I suspect, in our personal lives too. It may be the foundation of communication breakdown.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:57:24 +0000

I am a couple of years late but here is my feedback to this tip….

1 – it confuses people. After using this with various staff members for years we all sat down and figured out that we were “not consistent” with our messaging and that is why the ‘negatives’ never got solved. It came across as “too nice” since it started and ended with praise AND 2/3 of the conversation was then praise.

Personally my rebuttal to this is that we should be mature enough to HEAR both and incorporate both back into our work. But alas above is what the overall concensus was and we retrained to NOT use this method.

2. younger generation. Sorry but the young people “hear what they want to hear”. So by having the positive at the start and beginning they “shrug off the middle point” thinking “ah well it was just one point amongst 3 (or more)”. So, again, due to how this is used and misused I tend to want to cut the crap and just be straight up – “There were some points you did well, but we really need to talk about XYZ as a concern…….” and then give it to them. Perhaps I am jaded but seriously trying this exact technique and others that include “positivity and motivation” just backfire with the young people.

And, I am 28 but have been in my career for 9 years……….. So I’m not slamming ‘young people’ but really they have a much different mindset and it is very annoying.

By: Maria T Wilson

Maria T Wilson — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 13:20:43 +0000

This is a very good approach. Toastmasters, a non-profit organization, http://www.toastmasters.org , which has as it’s goal to improve communication skills worldwide recommends this sandwich approach as one way of giving feedback for communication projects. I use it all the time. I thoroughly enjoy your entries and am glad I’ve subscribed to your RSS feed. Keep up the good work!

By: Henrik Edberg

Henrik Edberg — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 20:27:59 +0000

Thank you for your comment, Kay G. You make a good point about the importance of encouragement.

By: Kay G

Kay G — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 14:13:51 +0000

I would add to be encouraging(praise) in a stronger voice when you make the comments. You are definitely on the right track with this. I think that is the single most important thing we can do for othersâ€¦and itâ€™s alot more than just words. It does involve awareness, insight, communication, understanding, risk, courage, I could go on and on. Who knows what tragedy could next be avoided if we take the time to encourage our fellow sojourners on the oftentimes tough path of life. How to encourage

By: Henrik Edberg

Henrik Edberg — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 07:05:03 +0000

Brett: Thanks. IÂ´m glad to hear that you and your mother have found good use of the sandwich-technique.

Sam and Rene: I agree that using this technique via email is quite a bit different than using it face to face. I like ReneÂ´s two suggestions for getting someone to read the the whole email. Especially the one about stating upfront that you have 3 things to share.

Albert: I would try to analyze what had gone wrong in that interaction. See what words I had used and how I had used them. As Rene said: words are only 7 % of communication. So perhaps even though my words were polite my tone had maybe been a bit aggresive during the interaction. Then IÂ´d try to change this part for the next time I was to critique. However, sometimes someone just gets offended and perhaps there is little you can do about it. They might just be very sensitive at that point in time due to, for example, problems at home.

By: Albert | UrbanMonk dot Net

Albert | UrbanMonk dot Net — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 09:27:30 +0000

Nice article, and I agree with rene above that it’s very different via email. What would you suggest if after all your best efforts at politeness the person still gets offended?

By: rene

rene — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 03:01:35 +0000

I think this method works well when done face-to-face, and have used it many times; however, doing it via written communication is more risky unless both parties know each other well. Since only about 7% of any message is conveyed in words, and written communication is entirely words — people tend to read the words with their own infections based on their feelings at the moment and how they feel about the other person.

There are two ways that might help the email mishaps. One is to state upfront: I have three things to share with you. Another way is to simple number the things you want to share (people tend to look through an entire list).

By: Brett

Brett — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 22:00:57 +0000

Great tips about the “sandwich technique”! It’s funny the things you remember, but my mother (an entrepreneur herself) has always told me that this method is directly responsible for her ability to handle tough situations and criticize properly. It’s led me through some rough times, too.

Keep up the great work! You’ve got a great blog.

By: Sam

Sam — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 17:57:21 +0000

It might work well when the criticism is given as a feedback of a face2face meeting. Do you think this works well in email communications also? There are few instances in which the recipients start replying their emails after reading half email. What end up happening is … they get all pumped up with the comments mentioned in the middle and fail to even read the whole email and end up sending hurting or angry replies and then when the sender points it in the response that he had covered those in the last few sentences, it is already late spilling all the bitter words. I wonder how to handle that.