About two weeks ago Steve Pavlina wrote an article called Self-Help Junkies.
In it he described a common problem for students of personal development material. They buy and they buy and they listen and read and watch and visit seminars.
And then they do nothing about their life, they don´t use any of the tips. And then they buy some more. And so they go on getting a high from consuming personal growth information but never get their life in order.
In one of my earliest articles, Don´t Get Stuck in Reading, I wrote a bit about this issue. If was of course a problem I had personally encountered and a place I was stuck in for a while. Luckily I just stayed there for some months and not years or even decades with debts up to my ears from visiting to many seminars and filling to many bookcases with self-help books.
How did I pull my self out of that place? Well, I simply got fed up with it and with myself and started to take action.
Brian Tracy says something interesting about this on one of his audio-programs. When he asked people what had changed and taken them from doing pretty much nothing to becoming successful an answer he got over and over was: “I decided to get serious”.
I have thought quite a bit about what someone can do before becoming fed up or getting serious and thereby taking action. Here are some suggestions – that may or may not work – for breaking out and move beyond just being a self-help junkie.
Instead of just being more books about setting goals and motivate yourself, these suggestions are more practical methods and products to rip someone out of a non-moving place and state. Things that can create a boost on a deeper level and help create forward momentum. Things that can help you overcome negative feelings and beliefs that are standing in your way with barbed wires, brickwalls and machineguns pointed right at you.
Some of them cost a little, some of them are totally free (well, if you google a bit you can probably find a lot of free information on blogs and forums on any of the methods).
Two of them have given me great benefits. Two of them I haven´t used that much personally but heard much good about from others.
If you feel stuck and unable to get going then I suggest trying one or more of them.
Use Guided Meditation – These are almost too easy because you have to do very little – just lie down in a quiet and comfortable place and listen – but they can give you a boost and remove barriers in your mind for hours or even days.
One example of guided meditation that I have used and that has given me great benefits – I felt ridiculously relaxed for a day after listening – is the free mp3 called Double Induction that you can find on this page (and read more in my article here).
Another are the Paraliminals that Steve Pavlina gave such a glowing review. They are not free, but I find them even more effective than the free mp3. The Paraliminals are guided meditations directed to help you solve different issues, such as overcoming procrastination, boosting your self-esteem or adopting a new belief. They also just about always leave me really relaxed and with very little mental clutter for 12-24 hours.
You can read Steve´s review of them here, see the thread about them at Steve´s forum here and ask questions and get more answers about them at the official forum at Learning Strategies.
Use EFT – I have not used EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) that much – yet, at least – but a lot of people seem to get a good result out of this simple, free and slightly weird technique. What it consist of is basically repeating affirmations, tapping various points on your body and doing a couple of other simple things. The idea is that if you for instance have a fear, a painful memory or a phobia you can decrease or remove the uncomfortable and negative feelings by tapping them away.
You can read about results from it in this thread in the Steve Pavlina forums. You can download the free manual from the website of the creator of EFT: Gary Craig. However, you may have even more success by simply going to the excellent Tapping.com and do the exercises in an easy way by just following along with the free videos.
Use The Sedona Method – Another of those techniques I have only briefly explored but hear people having great results with. It is also a very simple technique where you learn to accept and then release emotions you would like to let go of. I don´t know how much training you have to do to be consistently effective with it though.
You can check out the official website here or check out Hale Dwoskin´s The Sedona Method
Below is a 14 minute long introduction video to The Sedona Method, have a look if you´re curious. RSS-subscribers who can’t see the embedded video, click here.
Read or watch something by Eckhart Tolle – One reason I haven´t explored The Sedona Method that much yet is that it seems very similar to one technique I learned form Eckhart Tolle. Both deals with releasing emotions from your body and mind. Both deals with accepting the feelings. Here´s the one I´ve learned from Tolle. You may have read about it before since I´ve included it several articles in the past.
What you do is this:
When you feel a negative feeling then accept that feeling. Don´t try to fight it or to keep it out (like many of us have learned throughout life).
Say yes to it.
Surrender and let it in.
Observe the feeling in your mind and body without labelling or judging it. If you let it in – for me the feeling then often seems physically locate itself to the middle of my chest – and just observe it for maybe a minute or two something wonderful happens. The feeling just vanishes.
My first contact with Tolle was his two hour seminar-dvd The Flowering of Human Conciousness
As you probably already know – or have guessed – a very large part what Eckhart Tolle´s work is about is being in the now. And being in the now is a pretty great place to be. 
In the now fears and emotional obstacles become reduced immensely and replaced by calmness. I have found that it is not always easy to stay in the now for long and not let thoughts wander into the past or the future. But I have also found that over time I can stay longer and longer – and more often – in the now.
I really suggest checking out at least one of Tolle´s products as they can change your way of thinking and feeling in a way that unsticks you if you´re stuck. Also, using the guided mediations is a great way to clear you mind of a lot of unnecessary clutter and thoughts and make it easier to stay in the now.
One unifying factor about these products/methods is that they are easy to use, they are often effective and that they change how you feel. I think how we feel is often what is holding us back from taking action, creating momentum and developing a new habit. By using these tools you can reduce or even remove negative feelings that are hindering you right now.
Now, are these products and methods magic bullets? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I think the impact and positive effects will vary from person to person and method to method. But they are the closest to magic bullets that I´ve found so far. So even if you are not stuck being a self-help junkie you may want to check them out and if you like one or a few of them add them to your toolbox.
Related Pages: Avoid being a self help junkie and consolidate your bills. Work through your money issues with unsecured money loans and escape the weight of personal debt problems.
Learn more about the science of happiness from the experts, and take free psychology tests at happier.com
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
You are absolutely right. For me I do consume many personal development product not only because I love material but I also blog and podcast about these products and services.
Each time I read another book or watch a DVD that is self help I always gain something from each one. I may not apply all the material but I usually take something from them for myself.
I think the best results come from simply taking action with the material. A coach or support group is really good for many people because it holds them accountable. Sometimes people need to be held accountable to others before they can become accountable to themselves. It sounds very elementary but for personal development some people need to start there to get results that will encourage further development.
Thanks for your post,
Peace and Blessings,
Robert F. West:)
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Robert. I agree that having a supportgroup or a coach to be held accountable to and get advice and support from can be very beneficial. Especially when you just can´t get started or when your motivation and enthusiasm starts sinking. It can be the push that keeps or gets someone going.
Hi I appreciate the ideas of this article. I have spent many years helping people get unstuck as a mental health professional. Depression, a lack of clarity where we are going, no plan of action, poor diet, emotional overload and many other things cause us to get stuck. Some of the best things to do include: get up and move around to get the energy flowings; seek counseling; start an exercise program; get a coach, find your purpose and make a plan; spend time going inward and journal to gain awareness, to open the flow etc. Find ways to come back alive.
I am a big fan of Tolle and his writings. He is a highly conscious human being and able to help us to be more awake and aware.
I write ablog about life, consciousness, peace, purpose and passion at http://www.explorelifeblog.com
I agree a lot with what both you and your commentors say – too much intellectual knowledge (allegedly called power but only potential power) and not enough action
The Secret has concerned me hugely is this regard, whereby people think that having happy and positive thoughts will improve their lives and solve their problems – probably yes to former and no to the latter!
As a consequence, I am very interested in what Stephen Pierce is doing with Bob Proctor – see here: http:www.NigelPendrigh.Com/rights
Pierce is definiately a man knowledge and of action = Power
Best wishes
Nigel
Hi
I have been reading and listening to Eckhart Tolle for the last 2 months and have found it really resonating with me. An important piece of the puzzle–that seemed to have no clear resolution has been procrastination. Although, I knew it came from anxiety over the future, it was still a huge challenge. After googling “Tolle and procrastination”, I came upon this insightful comment and realized that resistance was my issue. I visualized no resistance to procrastination and felt an immediate relief. Thank you for your insight.
Actually I am wondering about the Sedona method – it looks like beeing the very core of ZEN meditation. I am wondering why giving the same thing different names…
I you’re at the point where you’re reading books, paying for BS seminars watching videos and buying snake oil than THAT is the problem in and of it self. You’ll NEVER find the answer. STOP READING and looking OUTSIDE for the answer. Until you take action nothing will change. It’s MUCH MUCH MUCH EASIER than you think to take action. It’s starts by deciding IT’S TIME. It’s starts by realizing you’re making excuses for yourself, you’re being lazy, you’re wanting to not take responsibility for yourself and for your life and for your lack of happiness. Here’s an idea, as tough as you perceive it to be (and it is 90% your perception), wake up tomorrow early, take five minutes to lay back in bed and get yourself together, then GET UP, SHOWER, GET DRESSED in decent clothes, STAY OFF THE INTERNET and spend the morning, JUST THE MORNING, not planning, but actually DOING something towards bettering your situation and life. Take ACTION, you do not need to be told what action to take, YOU KNOW what you need to do, the steps you must take to living again. Those three hours in the morning spent DOING rather than thinking, hoping and wanting will revitalize your soul people! You’ll fell soooooooooooooooo good that you didn’t waste the morning away worrying but kept your mind and body busy LIVING LIFE. Those few hours will inspire you to do even more the next day. Oh, you’ll likely feel like laying in bed the next morning or getting back to your routine, to your comfort zone of not living life, of fearing life but you follow your heart, the heart that tells you you need to get up today like you did yesterday and get on with life. Each day will get easier and easier, before you know it you’ll be out of your funk and back in the game of life. I’m taking days! not weeks or months. In a few short days, if you take action every day before you know it you get a high from it, you feel a worth again, you start working your dreams instead of using them as a crutch. Do it! Stop reading and watching and start BEING AGAIN!
Even when there is no visible action and no visible change, it doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. There is time for action and there is time for contemplation.
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.
I have realized that there are periods in life when I have needed to learn before doing. I went through one of those phases last year. I think it’s important that people not just “do” without first knowing because uneducated/uninformed will also get your nowhere. You’re right in that you have to make sure you’re not stuck in learning forever, but I really do believe there’s a case to be made for stopping “doing” when it’s not working and learning and then resuming doing again.