Continuing from the previous post 6 reasons to improve your body language, here is just a few of many pointers on how to improve your body language. Improving your body language can make a big difference in your people skills, attractiveness and general mood.
There is no specific advice on how to use your body language. What you do might be interpreted in several ways, depending on the setting and who you are talking to. You’ll probably want to use your body language differently when talking to your boss compared to when you talk to a girl/guy you’re interested in. These are some common interpretations of body language and often more effective ways to communicate with your body.
First, to change your body language you must be aware of your body language. Notice how you sit, how you stand, how you use you hands and legs, what you do while talking to someone.
You might want to practice in front of a mirror. Yeah, it might seem silly but no one is watching you. This will give you good feedback on how you look to other people and give you an opportunity to practise a bit before going out into the world.
Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize how you would stand and sit to feel confident, open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. See yourself move like that version of yourself. Then try it out.
You might also want observe friends, role models, movie stars or other people you think has good body language. Observe what they do and you don’t. Take bits and pieces you like from different people. Try using what you can learn from them.
Some of these tips might seem like you are faking something. But fake it til you make it is a useful way to learn something new. And remember, feelings work backwards too. If you smile a bit more you will feel happier. If you sit up straight you will feel more energetic and in control. If you slow down your movements you’ll feel calmer. Your feelings will actually reinforce your new behaviours and feelings of weirdness will dissipate.
In the beginning easy it’s to exaggerate your body language. You might sit with your legs almost ridiculously far apart or sit up straight in a tense pose all the time. That’s ok. And people aren’t looking as much as you think, they are worrying about their own problems. Just play around a bit, practice and monitor yourself to find a comfortable balance.
1. Don’t cross your arms or legs – You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
2. Have eye contact, but don’t stare – If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it.
3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space – Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
4. Relax your shoulders – When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.
5. Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight – but in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.
7. Lean, but not too much – If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.
8. Smile and laugh – lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere.
9. Don’t touch your face – it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.
10. Keep you head up - Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
11. Slow down a bit – this goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap you’re neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.
12. Don’t fidget – try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly. You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your movements.
13. Use your hands more confidently – instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail around, use them with some control.
14. Lower your drink – don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.
15. Realise where you spine ends – many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned for better posture.
16. Don’t stand too close –one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it.
17. Mirror - Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean forward. If she holds her hands on her thighs, you might do the same. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language. Then weirdness will ensue. 
18. Keep a good attitude – last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference. For information on how make yourself feel better read 10 ways to change how you feel and for relaxation try A very simple way to feel relaxed for 24 hours.
You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet. And if you try and change to many things at once it might become confusing and feel overwhelming.
Take a couple of these body language bits to work on every day for three to four weeks. By then they should have developed into new habits and something you’ll do without even thinking about it. If not, keep on until it sticks. Then take another couple of things you’d like to change and work on them.
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great article
thanx
Very nice tips. I was inspired by this topic and post some thoughts from my macrobiotic lifestyle viewpoint at my website. Thanks fod the ideas.
Thank you very much. I read your article too, interesting stuff about the diet. And a very nicely designed website.
Very useful advices. Thanks.
Hi, a good tip for tip 2. (Have eye contact, but don’t stare).
Is to look at the other persons nose instead of eyes, i found this MUCH easier!
Thank you. And interesting tip, Philerfar.
Philerfar - I’m shocked. I figured this out as a kid and I’ve told lots of people about it, but I’ve never heard of anyone else doing this. People can’t tell the difference and it spares me the trauma of looking into people’s eyes.
Hi,
The reading material is helpful.I was wondering if we can write in terms of what can be done rather than using the language “don’t do it”
Thank you
Good list, however the “Lean, but not too much” tip I don’t agree with.
besides it showing interest it also shows neediness…. and that is not something you want to convey. I would rather be leaning back in a relaxed manner, and show interest through eye contact and other mannerisms.
My 2c
Very interesting, some times this can make the difference.
This is really noteworthy…..Lines like…
“Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet. And if you try and change to many things at once it might become confusing and feel overwhelming. “
intersting
I found this most helpful being completely hopeless at body language myself. Personally I find it hard to read another persons body language in a chat up scenario as I’m so focused on what signals I am conveying with my own body language that I dont notice theirs!
I found it very useful. I found something am going to practice today!
Nice site. I have seen a lot of sites this one has couple of extra tidbits of info. Keep the good work going. I will try to come back.
All the best!
very useful i practiced some tips result was greatly inspiring iwill continue
a very interesting articles. tips given are practical and some of them have worked in my case. such articles are very useful.
beegeeaar
15 03 2007
beegeeaar: Thank you. I´m glad you´ve found use of the tips here.
it was nice… it was simple and it gives valuable info. it was quite good
very useful! i was once sat opposite this guy and i kept touching my nose because i was really nervous around him and he ended up getting up and leaving after a couple of minutes! i think he thought i was trying to tell him that he had something on his nose! gosh darn it! thnx for all the helpfull tips!
Great article on how to increase the effectivness of body language. Though I think that it is not a good idea to mirrior someone if YOu haven`t practiced that for a while, because if You are doing this to obvious people will think that You are imitating or making a fool out of them!
But Your article is really a great point to start and get the main idea of how to communicate non verbal!
My Site about Body Language Secrets
Your artical is really great …………..you have given something which is usefull every one..
this information really helped me on my research paper. i didn’t know that all off this could actually inprove your image
Very nice article.
Thank you!
It would be even better if there were photos / diagrams and videos describing these best practices.
I am impressed by the tips and would like to practice this tips in my daily life.
Hi, I really found it very useful and interesting.
Hi guys seen many sites…which also are very informative….but this site gives a very straight forward tip then going round and round using words…which really feels that the author has revised over and over again to make it THE BEST….
I really appreciate Ur efforts Pal….
Really thank you for all these information which u sowed it in me in short time…..
Mr..L
It was a good article to read…
THANKS! It was awesome & my group & I in speech class used your tips to present a speech on how to get rid of distracting body language. It was very useful!!!
Thanks,…8th grader
HEY WAZZUP!! THIS WEBSITE IS GREAT TO THE MAX!!!!
i have got what i wanted i hope i would be able to improve myself .THANKUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
This is a great article. I really think that most (if not all) of the tips could be very useful for me to exercise.
Big list, big help. - Thanks!
thankyou i had thought of some things like this and had alot of questions witch u have help answer. Also been a great help in a small confidence boost, thanks again.
old skool hints. maybe people really never do change.
David told his son Solomon the same things.
the Khans of Mongolia did, too.
bottom line….confidence expressed in posture wins.
Thanks a lot for the tips
The vote is on for the best Canadian 360 page. Can I recommend Delectable Pet? Her page is wonderful, and she absolutely has my vote! Here’s a link if you want to vote.
Way to many positive comments here . . .
Lame. Called social skills and self-awareness.
Great tips,
Slow down a bit - fits me perfectly. I have noticed this change within myself since I have lost my confidence. I used to be quite slow in walking and during conversation but since 2 years, I walk very fast, talk too fast that others find hard to understand sometimes and I always have my hands folded when I talk..
These tips really fit perfectly. I wonder though what do you mean touching the face??, like resting you chin on palms or something like that?
Very well written. Helpful in every way for day to day meetings and interaction with people. Great work.
Thank you.
Becareful faking body language, you might not be good at noticing body language, but most of us will surely notice unnatural body language!
“Keep your arms and legs open.” You’re a guy, yeh? I really don’t think it’ll come over as “defensive” in most cultures when a woman crosses her legs.
i found many good articles on this site and now it beceome my habbit to find some new tips daily as it is helpful for day to day life…..Enjoy
really your tips is useful to our public life,thank you.
In response to Philerfar and Drachen: I couldn’t stand that I had to look at someone’s nose because doing so has always felt awkard and looking into both eyes at once is most improbable.
If I’m looking at the nose, then I’m not making eye contact. Then I remembered getting tested for eye dominance for rifle and pistol team in highschool (we used the “Miles Test”). Eye dominance is best described at Wikipedia’s article on the subject.
When we were shooting our pellet rifles, I was scoring a 70/300 when shooting with my right eye. I switched and scored near 200/300 (ten points a bullseye).
When I’m interacting with people I now look into their left and then right eye to get a feel for their occular dominance (which they may have no clue) and choose from there. Doing this is REALLY easy and I no longer have meaningful conversations with nose’s (rather than people).
Doesn’t staring at their nose make you look slightley cross-eyed?
19. Double-check spelling and context.
Philerfar: It depends on the distance. At a meeting the other people probbably couldn’t tell, however if you are having a one on one conversation, I know I can tell and it really bugs me when people do it.
Uh, how ’bout simple authenticity when interacting with others. Goes a lot further than contrived body language.
Hey, that was pretty nice..
I got your link from My Yahoo. and I liked the stuff you write..
Its pretty cool ! Keep it up !
Nice article, just one spelling error
“don’t snap you’re neck ” should be “don’t snap your neck”
sorry for being pedantic!!
its very good article. we can aware of our body language.
Hi,
A very simple and informative article, i know not many people take this thing seriously but it makes a difference, there were few things i was missing on will try and improve with your tips.
Keep the goo work man. Cheers
Rohan.
Thanks for all of the great body language tips. It’s interesting all of the things we discover about ourselves when we actually pay attention.
Good blog and tips!!
great article!
!
i normally cross my legs, twitch my foot, click my pen and stare at the person talking. Guess i should work on that
( Philerfar & Drachen & Rick & Lo & 25 )i have been told that there are 2 areas of the face to look at; the mouth and nose, and the eyes and bridge of the nose. People have suggested to me looking at the mouth and nose, but i can’t stand it! I always look at the nose for about 2 seconds, then back at the eyes or at something nearby, eg notes if it’s a work-related chat, or a drink etc. As for dominent eyes, mine’s my left, but i’ve tried finding other people’s and found it very difficult. i think you need more experiance to be able to do this confidently.
thanks-this is a very interesting and useful site.
Thanks a bunch for this great article.
This a problem that i have since i was a child.
now i can practice and get rid of it.
thanks a lot.
i find people with good posture very hot.
its also sexy when people lean back and are relaxed, but still have good eye contact, etc.
Anyone else agree?
Hi…..A very nice article,plz get me some tips on my id.Thanx.
It was very helpful and it worked.
thanks
Hi all, it’s really amazing. There is many things to learn from here…….Good
Great . Fantastic . Thanks for ur subtle points
nice things , am care about a body language & i need help from who care about body language too , plz send me on my e-mail every new news about a body language .. really scince will not stop & i will follow it
2 Lie Detectors:
TOUCHING YOUR FACE. Scratching around the mouth or cheek area is considered a dead giveaway that you are lying. And even under the best of circumstances, it looks kinda weird and gross. “There is nothing good you can do with your hands above the chin during an interview,” says Dr. Hogan.
CROSSING YOUR ARMS. People read this as a defensive, nervous gesture. You might not feel this way; it might simply be a position you find comfortable. But perceptions are what count here.
It’s helpful for me.Thank you very much.
A person from China.(zhangxia19900805@126.com)
hey haven’t you heard? awkward is the new sexy.
being preoccupied with how your body is naturally expressing your emotions is counterproductive and potenitally more socially risky than just letting your inner awkwardness shine through. i just don’t see how trying to overcome your shyness through developing yet another level of selfconsciousness could work for someone who is already having a hard time feeling at ease around people. i know– i am shy myself. but i have a sense of humor about it, and that has made all the difference.
so my advice is — don’t worry about being awkward — it’s really not that big of a deal. only actors and actresses and salespeople need to worry about forcing their bodies to express something other than their real feelings. the rest of us can go ahead and be awkward if we feel like it until we naturally are comfortable enough to relax and express calm social ease.
This one makes sence “One’s first step in wisdom is to kuesstion everything - and one’s last is to come to terms with everything.”
This article is very interestig to read.
Its is so helpful.Many Thanks
It`s so nice and really helpful, Thanks
It was Really Great Article.
Great Input.
Thanks,
Amit
wonderful site
hi….its gr8…articles like these help like 1 in there day-2-day life…there must b more updations to these articles…..
The tips given are the basic ones that everybody should know, I earnestly request for more updates.
animalbot - asking for a raise, interviewing for a job, asking for a date, even debate (believe it or not) - these are all sales. Understanding that may take a lot of the glamour out of the mystery of interactions but it also allows you to apply well tested strategies. There is a lot of information on making sales (and much of it applies in everyday communications)!
Thanks
Its Very useful
Nice! it works!thanks
I have visited your site 876-times
Hey this was grate i got what i wanted thank you so much
On your 11th point - Slow down a bit. I totally agree with this and I have followed this for years. Recently, I came across another productivity blog that counters this statement. In its defense, he suggests that walking slower may look as if you don’t have anything to do. Busy people have to go places and meet many other people. They have to fix everything in given 24 hours so they can’t walk slowly..
IMHO, I disagree with his opinion. Would certainly like to know whats your feeling (apart from whats mentioned in the article)
Your article is very nice , it is very useful ,in China we will say”我顶” thanx.
bes valo….
cholbe..
Considering the fact that we have been evolving for over millions of years, and that verbal communication is only a “recent invention” (in evolutionary terms!), I think it’s important that we give body language its due importance.
As a child, I was very shy and lacked in confidence. Body language has transformed my personality today. Believe me friends, it really works if we try and make it look natural. Along side, develop a liking for people and help them whevever possible. It works wonders for our well-being. This has been my experience.
Thanks..
Its very useful..
plz get me some tips on my id.
There is many things to learn from here…….
thanka it was ahidden way to success.
simply superb!
you have conveyed the content in simple terms and in an effective way and it sure made a worthwhile read for me.
thank you
Love the article. Thank you. =)
It’s very useful. I’m going to apply it well.
God bless and take care!
hi, i try to use this list of procedures,
and i request you to give some more tips in my id
thia is very helpful to all
thank you for tips which will groom our personalities.
Nice list. Now I need to find tips on how to improve my posture. I always feel that my shoulders are too high yet when I bring them down I feel like I bring them down too far. I have a hard time standing up straight for long periods of time, I inevitably end up crossing my legs and leaning against something (usually just with an elbow or arm). When I don’t have anything to lean against I almost always end up either crossing my arms or placing my hands on my hips/side; I’ve read the latter is a sign of dominance and often I feel like it would be better for me to send a signal of defensiveness rather than dominance… I feel the dominance sign in a team environment can make me seem controlling or uninterested in other’s words. With my arms folded I feel I can use eye contact and head movement to show that I am interested despite the stand-offish body language from my arms.
Eye-contact is something I’ve been working on for years and I probably just need to keep myself aware of it a bit more and continue reading tips on it. Usually I lose eye contact less than a second after it is made and then continue that cycle. I’m sure it drives people nuts but it just knocks me off my feet. Eye contact in a romantic / flirting context is a different story, in that case I feel like it is the most powerful thing there is and love it.
Anywhoo, nice site!
Amazing tips to enrich our lifestyle……..
Yo!! Good Site!
Got good information for my Project!
Thankx yaar!
It is very useful infomation to improve our body language,
from this information i am teaching body language to others
thank u
The sources to understand the Body Language are less and so there are misconceptions about the Body Language. Many think that by learning about this we can give a good impression to the world outside. Many others think that this science, if at all it can be called so, can be trusted only to a certain extent and not completely. If we understand how a domain called Body Language came into existence and how it has grown in these latest 20 years, we can come to certain inferences regarding this.
You can tell lies but your body can’t.
Your body shows whatever you have in your mind. You can’t have another good body gesture to fool others. The body does not listen to you. It automatically gets to the same original position.
What you need to change is your attitude. Body Language will change by itself. Even when you are feeling defeated you can’t spread your shoulders and walk strait as if nothing has helped.
Understanding body lanaguage helps you to interpret body language. It does not help you to change it.
It was wonderful topic
ya good one for mine
It is very useful infomation to improve our body language,
from this information i am teaching body language to others
thank u
THIS 18 WAYS R REALLY AMAZING …. IT HELPED ME A LOT 2 IMPROVE MY PERRSONALITY…..THNKS 2 THE PERSON WHOEVER MADE IT…..
tnks It helps me a lot in a speech…
I am a studant and this is great because I can have a conversation and not have to worry about saying somthing wrong.This website told me everything I was doing wrong and it told me how to fix it. Great job! two thousand thumbs up. Thanks
Wow thee sound like they would actually work =)
IT IS GREAT. TRANSFORMING.
TARIQUE OMUM
Great text! I liked it so much!
If you dont mind, I’m writing a post in my personal blog in portuguese, my natural language, basead in your ideas. I will put the backlink at the end, and my thanks about.
I hope you like to see your ideas spreading in brazil too.
bye.
vinicius delgado
www.metaexecutiva.com
Hi,
I thank you for bringing up such a nice and interactive article. To be precise..the article is excellent.
Hi!
I ensure you the 1/2 an hour that you are going to spend on this article would be perfect value to your time.
Only thing that can happen is your ultimate gain….
hi readers,
Its quite useful for the people who is in thrist to get improved in their commuication skill…… this is most impressive article !!!!!!!! so don’t miss it!!!!
IT WAS REALLY NICE TO READ THIS MATTER AS I FELT SO HELPFUL AS THIS HELPED ME IN IMPROVING MY BODYLANGUAGE AND IT ALSO HELPED ME IN MY STUDIES
AS FAR AS COMMUNICATION SKILL IS CONCERNED MY COMMUNICATRION SKILL ARE IMPROVED
i liked your article it was very helpfull . xxxxxxxxxxxxx
real good but needs to be a little more elaborate
When I was interviewing I video taped myself answering standard interview questions and saw that I lowered my chin when I was thinking and made my answer seem much less convincing and confident.
Has it helped? Although I have been out of work now for 47 months, I still think I seem more confident. - Just kidding
Yes it really has helped - not just the lifting of the chin, but other posture related changes as well.
Thanks for a thoughtful set of tips.
afewtips.com
It is more fake to possess a mindset that induces inauthentic behavior but I do understand the “fake it till you make it” approach because we do learn from repetitive behaviour. I think being too perfect is a problem too but I support what this blog is saying, that body helps mind and mind supports body. I have that much respect for this article, I typed this with a more open and upright position and I think that itself affects the quality of the words one uses because body language and body posture does open the mind and create positive effects.
M.
grias eing
we have to make a potcast for body language
thanks for the good tips on your homepage.
just the yellow lemon tree;)
2bK
its gr8 !!!!!!!
its really helpful to those who are afraid of crowd…..
it will help them making their body language improved and hence their personality….
Hai
I was searching for details regarding body language and got through this page.
Its a great article and i am going to try little by little .
it will help me in interacting with my customers.
one request if you could publish still more details on body language with pictures it will be helpful for everyone.
good, simple to read very straight forward tips.keep it up
Hi,
Thanks for these tips! I constantly keep on receiving feedback of appering insecure (even when not feeling so), so I decided to look for some tips for my bodylanguage. I will start today the improvement! I believe that I can become that what I pretend to be - confident of myself!
gr8 article …….
EXCELLANT MEANING REALLY WE SHOULD WORK ON THIS AS IM WORKINH A HOTEL
AL FAISALIAH HOTEL
RIYADH
great article thanx alot for it
very very helpful.thanks a lot.
thx my dear frnd its very helpful
it is really interesting for the medical persons like us.pediatrician from india
I got so much imp info from this site.
I came to know so many new things which r so much useful for me.
Thanks a lot.
hi………..ur tips r too nice.i like it…hope so it work on my presentation………..
It is very useful and intersting.
those tips were really amazing and useful. friends try to log on this site and makr yourself more clear about body language……..
good article, only found one or two grammatical mistakes
its good one.
good tips;nice & in arabic it’s تحفة
Hi friends,
Being an MBA and Sr. Exec. of a Company, I have interacted with representatives of Companies & found that the body language is the prime concern of observation.
I firmly agree with the author, he is successful in leaving impression in my mind.
Thanks,
Sourabh Khatri
csgauravkhatri@gmail.com
Ajmer, India.
It is useful to everyone
Thanks! A really insighful article.
As an ex prison guard, this brings me back a ways. Remembering the days I have put most of the above mentioned into effect at least one time or another for obvious reasons. Good old days.
Thanks,
Kirt.
ITS SO COOL I USE THIS TO PICK UP GIRLZ
thanks
Thanks for the Very usefull information, I loved the artical soooo much !!!
good article
its really cooooooooooooool
something great..for beginners its a nice way to get into the body language world
good article but could be elaborated
I am a studant and this is great because I can have a conversation and not have to worry about saying somthing wrong.This website told me everything I was doing wrong and it told me how to fix it. Great job! two thousand thumbs up. Thanks
Hi, this is pardeep
I really thanks to this article and as well as author who write this meaningful article to help us and teach some adiquates who we never use while talk to others..
I wish him very all the success !!!
with regards
Pardeep Sharma
India